May 2010 Weddings
chrisnjay05212010
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Banking Poll
In honor of the argument that Jay and I had- I am trying to figure out the best way to handle our finances.
What do you guys do with you bank? Separate checking, joint, something else????
Re: Banking Poll
When we moved in together and were engaged we decided to do a joint savings and try to put about $50/each in every time we get paid. We then have a joint checking that we both put a certain amount in or more and use that account to pay house bills, groceries, restaurants, etc. We each have our own checking account that the rest of our pay check goes in and we just use to pay our own credit cards bills, personal things we want, gifts for each other, etc. It might sound like it is too confusing to do but it works for us. At some point in time we might just go to one checking account, but that might not happen till after we both get rid of our credit card debit.
I must have missed the argument somehow, if you posted about it. What happened?
hey georgia- this is the EXACT set up we had and it was working, but the bills are falling all on my shoulders because I am the one that remembers to pay them on time. If I hand him a bill and say please by this by such and such a date, he then forgets about it!!
Thursday morning we had a huge fight about this because i was really stressed from trying to control all the bills.
We are speaking but are both kinda miserable right now, We are trying to figure out the best solution. He says he is ok with having a joint account and me giving him an allowance each week. I'm ok with that too, but afraid he might start to resent me for having access............................... We are supposed to go to the bank tomorrow morning to try and resolve.
My suggestion was to keep our own accounts but make them linked so that we could transfer money easily back and forth online. He doesn't seem to think that will work.
Hmm..
If I read that correctly, are you saying that he use to take care of the bills and would pay them through his own account or joint one? And now he is just forgetting about them so you have to remember to pay them? I might just be tired and read that wrong.
We kind of have the bills split up on who remembers to pay what and we actually never planned to do that. It just happened. I am usually in charge of paying the house bill, water bill and cable bill. He takes care of the electric bill, cell phone bill and car insurance bill. He also takes care of the ones that are not monthly (like Orkin, health insurance, etc.). Some of our bills have the automatic pay so it will automatically come out of our checking account when it is due. We usually know when they are all due so we just watch our account to make sure it goes through.
I think your idea will work, but obviously your DH will have to make sure he is committed to that. Would it also help for him to set a reminder on his phone when bills need to be paid?
I for the most part take care of the bills, I'm an accountant its just in my nature. But I would run out of money and then say Jay can you please pay this bill. He would say ok. and then i would check back with him in like a week and he didn't pay it, either because he didn't have the money and he didn't tell me or he forgot, which is what lead to the fight after this happened multiple times.
So i would keep track of the bills and whatever I couldn't cover on my own, Id ask him to pay (minus his bills, he takes care of those).
He is proposing I do all the bills (mine, house and his) and we have one account and then give him a cash allowance to use for the week
When DH and I bought our house 3 years ago we got a joint account for the mortgage, bills, etc. We both also have our own checking accounts still. These accounts our for our "play" money. We each put a little money aside each week for ourselves.
We do this because we feel bad when we use the "house" money on things that we really don't need but want. It works out great and I don't feel that bad spending money.
We have joint checking & savings accounts. We both put all of our income into the checking account and all savings is transferred from it, and I take care of all of the bills out of it. But HH and I discuss the budget every month. We spend every dollar on paper, on purpose, before it comes in so we are in agreement with what will happen when the money flows back out.
We're in kinda a weird circumstance because we're not financially independent (ie. we're both getting help from out parents - which sucks). We each have our own accounts, and joint chequing and savings. We using the joint chequing for our expenses (rent, bills, groceries, etc). We each put in equally and top it up as needed. In the joint savings we have our wedding gift money. We'll randomly pay for small things on our own for both of us or each other. When our circumstance changes and we're no longer dependent on our parents we'll just put everything together.
As far as paying bills go (it comes out of the joint)... I keep track of our tv/internet, gas, electric, and DH does the credit cards, cellphones, and gym. My car insurance comes out of my account directly and DH gets his as a bill. My medical insurance is through him, and he paid in full for the semester, so I've just been paying him monthly.
We have shared Checking/Savings accounts. When we were dating just prior to getting engaged, HH wanted to start looking at houses. I told him we needed to set a budget and find out how much each owes. He just handed me all his bills and on line access and I take care of all the bill paying. I prefer it this way, since I technically have control over finances and know how much we have. He will always ask me before big purchases, but I usually tell him after every payday what we have left so that he knows not to go crazy if we don't have the extra money.
My parents are currently in the process of separating because of financial issues (and lack of communication about finances and other things), so this is constantly on my mind. We're weird right now because we've been a little lazy about making any kind of joint accounts.....and we also never have the same day off where we can go to the bank together to get it all straightened out.
I have a checking account, where my paycheck goes. I use my money to pay for my gas, groceries for the house, and clothes/toiletries for both of us. Since we're newlyweds I've also been buying furniture & home decor with my money (spread out over many months). Oh, and we just bought a new car, so I will be making those payments starting next month. I also have a small savings account where I'm trying to save a lot of my paycheck every month for my upcoming grad school stuff and future babies & whatnot.
Matt has a checking account, where his paycheck goes. He literally pays all of the bills (except for our new car). Mortgage, utilities, cell phones, auto/home insurance, etc etc. He also pays when we go out to dinner. Other than that, he rarely buys anything.
We want to have a joint checking for all bills and a joint savings......PLUS our own "fun money" accounts......but we haven't gotten around to it.
All of our finances / income are combined.
We have one joint checking account where our paychecks go into and ALL bills are paid out of. We have two joint savings account (one for short term and one for long term) and both of those are linked to our one checking account.
Works like a dream for us. No complications, no confusion. We each take out cash from the ATM for the week when we need it - nobody has to ask permission and nobody gets an "allowance." I don't mean to offend anyone who uses that practice but I find it kind of odd to do that with adults - I think of an allowance as something a child is given; not something doled out in an adult partnership.
We have a joint checking and savings account. Both of us have our paychecks direct-deposited into the checking account.
Some of our bills are in my name and some are in his, but I handle paying all of them out of that joint checking account. I have our bill checklist and payment schedule, along with our expenditures record, in a spreadsheet on our home computer. The checkbook is in the desk drawer. We each have our own login for the online banking. He could access all of that information if he ever needed to, but he rarely does. What happens usually is that I'll pay the bills, balance everything up, and give him a verbal report about once a week. Neither of us really spends a whole lot on non-essentials, and we never spend more than about $20 on something without checking in with the other first. It's been working for us. I actually blow much less money on clothes and such now because I'm accountable to someone!
This is honestly not meant to diss people who have other systems, but I've never been able to wrap my head around how couples can keep a "mine" and "yours" and always be keeping score of who paid what and who owes the other. Maybe it's a personality thing. I know that it would cause a lot of division for us. Matt already feels a little inadequate because I make a little more than he does (though his benefits are way better and save us a ton of money); I can't imagine if we were trying to make sure that I paid 60% of every bill or whatever. If we tried to do that, it would only be a matter of time until we started resenting each other.
I came into the marriage with a decent savings account, and he came into it with a ton of debt. I keep reminding him that it's not "my" savings or "his" debt anymore; they're both ours, and we're going to dig out together. It's just going to take about a hundred years...
The only time that I don't really like this system is when it's time to buy a birthday or Christmas gift. It's somehow not quite as gratifying to take joint money out of a joint account; I kind of feel like he bought half of his own present, and vice versa. But we like giving each other presents, so I think we'll keep on withdrawing the money and paying cash for each other's gifts for the sake of the splurge and surprise.
We also have a joint checking and a joint savings. Kevin still has an individual checking account that his car payment is directly withdrawn from but it is linked to our other accounts.
My whole paycheck is direct deposited into our checking account (-$50 that goes into the savings). Kevin's is deposited into his seperate checking and he transfers over a set amount every week into the joint checking and a set amount into the joint savings.
We use the money from the savings account to pay the property taxes at the beginning of each year. I take care of all of the bills and pay them out of the joint checking. Currently our health insurance is withdrawn from our paychecks but in January I will be on Kevin's insurance and it will all be withdrawn from his check only.
I had the house before Kevin and I even met so all of the bills are in my name. We both had very little debt coming into the relationship but Kevin has seriously like ZERO credit. Even after making payments on a car for 2 1/2 years (every payment on time) credit card companies still say he hasn't established enough credit.
I on the other hand DESTROYED my credit before the age of 22 and have been paying the price for it. (My parents co-signed and helped me get the house) We have no credit cards (which is nice on one hand) but I would like to have an "emergency" credit card before we have a child. So many unexpected expenses can come with kids and I would just like to have that covered.
The joint account is working out for us (we each have a debit card) we just make sure to check the account every few days and watch the money being withdrawn.
This is very well said Kelly. And I completely agree. Matt and I agreed that we would truly become one when we got married, and that includes sharing all of the finances, both the good and the bad.
And we go through the same thing with gift-giving. Although Matt usually saves up some cash from his plasma money if he wants to surprise me with something.
His plasma money? That is truly a gift from the heart!!
I crack myself up.
How resourceful! It's nice that he saves lives too!!
We felt exactly the same way. We have a joint checking, savings and a homeward bound savings. We have been doing this since about March of this year. We also have a joint credit card. All of our debt on there is stuff we've incurred as a couple (but it gets paid off monthly). We together pay my student loans now and when he graduates we'll pay his together too.
thanks guys from your input, I've always had the mindset of its our money but trying to save stress on myself of having our own accounts and one joint, but wound up creating more stress.
We are going to have one joint checking and savings, and I will handle all the bills, he told me what he needs each week so I can set it aside and he can call me to see if he needs more so that he doesn't overdraw our account. Sometimes I will set up and remove money from the "balance" in our account for a bill coming due but he only looks at the bank balance and nothing else, so that is the issue i was always afraid of,
We have a joint checking and savings, and also individual checkings. Paychecks go directly into our own checking accounts.
We have an excel spreadsheet (that my accountant husband set up) that has a Becky column on the left, a joint in the middle and Adam on the right. All house bills and anything we pay jointly goes there. My car payment, car insurance, student loans and credit cards are on my side, and similar with him.
Each paycheck, I add up the household bills that need to be paid with that paycheck (we both get paid biweekly on the same day) and grocery money, and split it in half. We each put that amount in the joint checking account, and I pay the bills from that. The rest of the money is to pay our own bills and spending money. I find it's sooo much easier to just put what is needed into the account and pay everything from that account rather than keep track of who pays what bill, because we tried that, and both failed miserably. This way, we are both held accountable for owing a certain amount into the account and our bills get paid.
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
We have a joint checking and savings account. We also have a monthly budget and every dollar from each pay period is mapped out. So, we know exactly what bills need paid and when. Then, we use the cash system for gas, groceries, eating out, and entertainment. So once the cash is gone, it's gone. Each of us also gets a $50 bill for ourselves.
It's easy and simple and keeps us out of debt.
We actually opened up a joint savings before we were engaged. HH always said he wouldn't propose until we had $10,000 in the bank for a house downpayment. We each put in however much we could every paycheck. (For the record we didn't have $10,000 in the bank when he proposed, we actually only had about $5,000, he couldn't wait any longer haha!) Once we were engaged and had bought our house we combined checking accounts. At first I was giving him so much of the house payment, insurance, and cell phone bill every month but it was so much of a hassle.
Now we both have our paychecks direct deposited into our checking account and pay everything out of it. I keep track of the checkbook and HH pays all the bills. It works pretty well for us.
Before we got married we each took care of our own bills. Since we got married, I take care of paying all of the bills because it just comes natural to me (I'm also an accountant). I'm a stickler about paying all of our bills on time (which means early to me) and he could care less about getting them paid on time.
When I get paid each month, I use my whole paycheck to pay the majority of the bills (car payments, gas bill, credit card, electric bill, etc.). DH gets paid bi-weekly and his check takes care of the other few that are left (my student loans & the phone bill). I keep one of DH's checkbooks in my pocketbook and just write checks from his account for those lost few bills each month. The rest of his money is used as our running money.
I used to give him bills to pay each month and he would do the same as your DH, wouldn't pay them b/c of no money or he would just forget. That's when we agreed for me to have access to 'his' money to finish paying the bills. We don't consider it "his money" or "my money;" we just make sure all of our bills are paid each month and go from there.
Same here. Everythign is "ours" - there's no longer a "yours and mine". I do not have student loans but DH does and they are auto-paid out of our checking account. It's part of us being a team - we just pay The Bills - there's no distinction of "that's his bill" and "that's her bill."
Us to. We jokingly remind eachother every once in a while that "what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours" haha. We share EVERYTHING