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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Rude IL Contest
I NEVER post on this board, but Sue_sue, you made me.
I am gobsmacked at your MIL!
If there is a winner of this contest, I vote you!
I'm from another country. Upon meeting my FIL-to be, he says "oh, so you are my son's imported piece of p***y" This was right before he asked if my Mum was hot, cause he heard that chicks from downunder are wildcats in the sack.
I think it's hilarious, but am super glad we never lived near him when he was alive!
My MIL asked me about my DH ex-wife, "Are you intimidated by her... you know, because she's so pretty?" and then told me how much she and her family loved the ex.
Before this she told my DH "I don't need you, you are just a gate-keeper to my grand kids"... Nice.
I have to say that I think sue-sue takes that cake.... however as present to myself for a possible runner up... I think I might break that damn chrismas ornament.....
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
Oh dear....how can I choose???
MIL - This summer she came over to see the baby and I was nursing, she practically ran down the hall to the nursery to see and yelled out loud "Oh my - your boobs must be 50 lbs each!!" DH was right behind her escorting her out the door....
FIL - Telling DH that he would drop me like a sack of potatoes when he saw his bosses daughters
SIL - " No, take some pictures of me!!" when the wedding photographer was taking some shots of me at the wedding
BIL - had a crying fit in front of my mom and asked her why I didn't have his girlfriend as a bridesmaid in the wedding.....he did this the day of the wedding
Super fun bunch I tell you - super fun! I just laugh at them and don't have them over any more, the less contact the better.
Backstory....
SIL had started a fight with DH for no apparent reason (it was about money, and she thought by fighting with DH she would get more from her mom / dh's stepmom, but she started a fight with him over literally nothing - it was just an excuse to start a fight). She did the same thing with her other siblings. This was mid-October.
Mid-November was DD's baptism, and she failed to RSVP. I guess that was her way of saying "I'm not speaking to you."
So Christmas comes. DH sees SILs car and refuses to go into the house b/c he is afraid of his own temper / doesn't want to start a scene on Christmas (b/c both stepMIL and SIL will try to start something). I tell DH I refuse to let SIL dictate when I go into ILs home, get out of the car and go inside. We see SIL's husband and he says to us "Merry Christmas, I don't know why my wife is acting so crazy." He leaves for a liquor store run. Other SIL and her H (and kids) see SILs car and start driving around the block so THEY can wait until she leave.
I am all alone in the house with FIL (dementia), drunk stepMIL, and SIL. Niece is also there (she is 4 at the time). I say hello to niece and walk into the house, holding my 4 month old DD in my arms. SIL ignores me and dd. FIL drops something on the floor behind the couch and SIL looks for it and then says "I guess I'm the only one going to help you." I tell SIL I can't crawl around on the floor b/c I'm holding the baby. She says in a nasty voice "oh, she's holding the baaaaaaaaabeeeeeeeee." Baby in a nasty tone.
BIL and his wife arrive. They both enter the home, say hello to everyone (including niece) and sit down.
SIL walks over to her 4 year old, says "Ashley, did anybody even say HELLO to you? OH GOD! Nobody is even saying HELLO to my 4 year old?!?!?!?" I kept my mouth shut, knowing I had said hello and not wanting to start anything. And wondering why SIL was doing this to her dd. BIL said loudly "For anyone interested, Joyce (hiswifes name) said hello to Ashley."
This was of course after SIL ignored me and my DD. Now she is claiming we should "leave the kids out of our fighting." Um, yeah, right.
Thought of more today...
MIL got upset when DH moved into my house because he went from living 1 mile from her to living 10 miles from her.
Before we were married she bought DH a car that's in her name with the agreement that DH will take over the payments after a year (whole other story with that). Then at our couples shower she announced that her wedding gift to us was too big to wrap - her gift being the car.
Constantly talked about how stressed she was about the wedding when her only involvement was showing up.
Posted some pictures on facebook of the wedding. The caption for a picture of my dad, who paid for it, said something like "Thanks to Syd for making the evening possible." His name is Stu.
Um, what?
Whoever said none of us could hold a candle to SueSue really wasn't kidding. OMG! I cannot believe this actually happened. You are a far, far better woman than I for not having thrown the holiday pie in that woman's face! I am soooooooooooo SORRY!
Here's mine:
- Long discussion on how tattoos are tacky and only trashy people have them (I've got a henna colored lotus flower tattooed on my wrist).
- Told me that my minor in Eastern Religion that I got in college was pointless because none of those religions are 'real.' Also said that anyone who studies religion clearly is not religious, and that that is just awful. (Here I smiled and said, "yup.")
- At my wedding, MIL grabbed my arm on the way to cut the cake and told me in front of all of our family and friends that I am an ungrateful ***. This is because she was mad about my having a black friend drive her vehicle, which she loaned to us (long story).
- At my wedding, his aunt got in my face and informed me that the day was not about me. Post wedding, told some accquaintences of ours that no one was happy to see us get married.
- Also at my wedding, his grandparents stormed out, taking their present with them because I asked them politely not to take pictures (as it was violating my photographer's contract, and they were literally standing in front of the poor woman, who was just trying to do her job).
- Also at the wedding (see a pattern?), BIL refused to be an usher at the very last second.
- His MIL has told my own mother on several occasions what an awful person I am.
There's a ton more, but I can't think of them right now. I saw them this weekend--none of them will speak to me. They simply act as if I do not exist.
By the way, sue_sue, I am impressed. I would have packed up my family and left immediately, sans eating.
I told my H about this, and he said you wouldn't have had to throw the plate in MIL's face, he'd have done it himself.
And then I scraped his jaw up off the floor.
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Same here. The food must've been REALLY good.
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I still cannot believe it. I was completely without words, for one of the few times in my life. Dh was helping the kids with drinks etc, he didn't notice till the boys both wanted the fancy little tables like Mommy had. He was as shocked as I was; and took his cue from me, getting tray tables for the kids etc. I don't think he even spoke to her about it; we just finished dinner alone in the hallway, all four of us; then packed up and left.
She's not been inside my house since; nor do we speak on the phone or by email; and I don't permit her to be alone with the boys.
She's lucky she still has contact with her son and gets to see the boys at all! You'd be well within your rights to sign her off entirely.
Any idea from what her attitude stems? Seriously, did you do anything to her to set this off? Not saying you had to, god knows my MIL hates me just because she's an ugly-hearted wench. And probably somewhat because I'm Jewish.
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Sue Sue, your MIL definately trumps my mother who at my wedding told anyone who would listen that Iooked like a prostitute.
You have self control that I admire.
Part of my problem is that I have an enormous amount of confidence. It never occurs to me that someone doesn't like me; no one doesn't like me, who wouldn't like me? is kind of how I feel. I was completely surprised to find she didn't.
She hated our wedding; it was a surprise wedding, and she was invited to the party but didn't know we were getting married. The day after, she invited us over and started screaming at us, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME meaning get married. Crying, you name it; she was hysterical.
She's not a happy person, and I'm not the only person she treats badly; so I don't think it's personal. She just finds someone to attack, and attacks at will. It tends to run in cycles; she'll focus on someone for a few months, then somoene else, etc. I used to take it really personally, and now it's just EH.
That said, I avoid her like the plague.
Wtf??
You def come in second!!
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Didn't you also have a story about how she wouldn't come visit your DS when he was in the hospital?
You know, it really says a lot that the sons of these BSC women still grow up to be reasonably normal husbands/husbands.
Mrs.Rad, that was another one. Holy smokes. And I'm still bitter about it.
When my older son was six months old, he went into liver failure. He was sick on Xmas day, and the next day he was in NICU, in a kind of coma with liver enzyme counts that were not compatible with life. We were up there at the hospital, frozen solid with fear, neither of us wanted to leave his bedside. Dh's mom lives here in town, and dh called her and asked her to come up, ds was sick, and she said NO. No, it would be too upsetting to see our son that way; she wanted to remember him the way he was; she knew someone whose child had died and she didn't want to have to see that. Dh was shattered. She wouldn't even go over to our house and let the dog out; so dh had to leave to take care of the dog a couple of times. We stood up there by his crib till he turned a corner, a couple of days later, and he came out of it and was fine, thank you god for releasing my child back to me.
No one from his family came up; they all live here in town. No one helped with food, or the dog. I called my own parents, who lived in St. Louis at the time, and told them how ill he was, with the idea that they should know he was ill before I called and asked them to come to the funeral; they were more help from five hundred miles away than dh's family here. I STILL resent them all for it; and especially his mom; he begged her to come up, he really needed her; and she said no. I still think of that week ds was hospitalized as the single worst time in my life.
SueSue wins if you can call it that. Holy hell! That's just cruel.
Currently MIL/FIL hate me bc I called MIL out on poor behavior. She is famous for punishing her kids if they don't do what she wants. WELL, we missed a family reunion this summer (had seen most of the relatives at a wedding the week before) and went on vacation with BIL/SIL WITHOUT asked their permission first. Sooooo....when we announced our 2nd pg (with cards of DS in a Big Brother shirt) she decided not to call us and say congrats.
She called all her sisters/friends to share that she was going to be a gma again but didn't call us till 6 hours later 'bc she had just gotten the card'. I found out that wasn't true and called her on not calling her son and why she didn't. Lots of excuses and lies later she wanted to know what she could do to make it better with us. That led to me asking her to put more effort into her grandson bc while she says she misses him and loves him the only time she sees him is when we cart him to her house. She had a lot of opportunities to see him this summer (which would have involved a 4 mile drive) and she refused. It got really old and I was done with it.
As it turns out she wasn't going to call DH about the baby. The only reason she did was bc BIL called her on it.
Right after that FIL calls me screaming at me for making his wife cry and hangs up on me.
Haven't talked to them since (3 weeks ago) and apparently she thinks it's all better now and we'll be at TG dinner tomorrow. We won't be there and while DH tried to talk to them a week or so ago he's going to tell them that unless there is an adult conversation about what happened and an apology they will not be seeing me or DS.
Wait. Is he going to his mother's and leaving you and your son home alone on Thanksgiving?
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Wait. Is he going to his mother's and leaving you and your son home alone on Thanksgiving?
Oh No! He will go over in the morning and see if they want to talk. Regardless none of us will be there for the meal/dessert/family time. If they want to talk and work this out DS and I will agree to see them at some point over the weekend. If not they won't see us and they really won't be seeing DH either.
My inlaws are straight up evil and rude.
I could write novels, literally, about their craziness.
Thank the Lord above, I married a wonderful man who is helping me host Thanksgiving at our house this year so that we don't have to go to his parents!
MIL said she would pay for our honeymoon. We paid it upfront and she "reimbursed" us about 5 days before our wedding. The check she wrote bounced, which caused all of our debit transactions, rent check, vendor checks and everything to bounce, resulting in hundreds of dollars in fees. It took my husband's entire payroll deposit. She knew it was bad and never said anything.
And, she always refers to my home as "Jeff's house", never "Jen&Jeff's" house. If anyone needs something, she will direct that person to Jeff, even if I am standing right there. Uh, yeah, my name is on this house too.
When we told her we were expecting DS#1, the first thing she said was 'Is this an accident!?" It wasn't, but WTF even if it was!? Coming from someone who got pregnant at 17, and then again at 41, you would think she would have been more sensitive to that question.
In my case, it is my SIL but my MIL will play to all of her whims.
-Our first year spending the holidays together, we were discussing how to get from the IL's house to my parents house, a 7 hour drive. SIL looks at my and says in a very nasty tone "Don't you KNOW how to get home?" I was so shocked that I didn't respond to her. Um, no, I never have had an occasion to get to and from these two locations.
-When we were opening presents, she gave us a really neat gift. I picked out one item and said, "I've always wanted one of these! Thanks!" She responds with "Oh, you almost didn't get that!" She has said the same line to every Christmas present she has ever given me.
-When we told her were going to get married and we would like her to be a bm, she started crying, and wouldn't look at us. Through her sobs she said "But now I'll have to loose weight". I'm still not sure what that comment means.
-At our wedding she was way late to pictures along with FIL and MIL. Late enough that we had to take bm pictures with out her. Their claim was that FIL's watch broke. However, all weekend they were texting on their phones, so it was a lame excuse.
Wow, that really takes the cake!! I think your MIL is very lucky your son is so sweet to have piped up like he did (probably without even realizing he diffused a potential blow-up). I admire you and your family for taking the high road. I can't even imagine what I would have done... >.<
This in a nutshell but not as obvious is my mother!