Toledo Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Question
Is it selfish to not want to buy my little sister a birthday gift since she's never bought me so much as a card? She's going to be 21 next week and expects my older sister and I to buy her liquor (expensive liquor, too. She wants Grey Goose) for her birthday but I was really only planning on sending her a card. I have been buying her Christmas and birthday gifts since I got a job when I was 17... but she's not a kid anymore, I don't think I should be obligated to buy her things. My brother and I don't exchange gifts but we usually go out to dinner since our birthdays are close together. (Bro and Sis are not related... Bro has same mom as me, Sis has same dad)
Re: Question
I don't think so at all, for many reasons!
1) She told you what to get her, and expects it.
2) She doesn't even get you a card.
3) It's holiday season and you have a new baby -- you have plenty of other things to spend $$ on!!
I'd get her a card and be done with it.
No way! My siblings and I don't buy eachother anything either. If we are out to dinner we may buy eachother a beer but thats it and its very seldom.
Although you have good reasoning for not wanting to get her anything, you admit that you have bought her gifts for holidays since you were 17. So now, you want to just stop?
How do you explain that? "You don't buy for me, so I'm not getting anything for you."
I know it's crappy of her not to do anything for you, but my niece was the same way. Her parents (my brother and his ex) never taught her that she should get things for the rest of her family. Yet we bought for her every year. If she is under the impression that how you do things is just the way it's done...then you come across kinda poopy for just stopping.
Holidays are about doing for others without expecting reciprocation. Have you talked to her about this? Asked her why she doesn't buy for anyone else?
Its one thing not to know that you should give gifts or something...its a completely different thing to demand that she get certain gifts and then not be respectful enough to try to give back. Thats rude, selfish, and immature. I wouldn't buy her any more gifts...
Ditto.
I also don't think it's crappy to stop giving gifts. She's still getting her a card and acknowledging her birthday, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Plus, I think there are a lot situations where people stop giving gifts to certain relatives when they hit 18 or 21 because they're not "kids" anymore.