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Bro drama...I am embarassed that he is a part of my family
My bro is officially a friggin? d0uchebag!
Many of you know the issues he and I have had over the past several years. For those that don?t, the long and short is this: fought like cats and dogs as kids, grew up to be respectful and appreciative of one another (we even used to work out together every day), then I fixed him up with a co-worker?s daughter, she turned rank cow and started a bunch of crap with our family (and me in particular), bro picked her ?side?, we do not even speak now and the two of them are seemingly obsessed with DH and I (always talking about us, etc even though we have *nothing* to do with them).
I am hosting our family Christmas at our place this year and am including both of our families as we all get along so well and share lots of special occasions. My mom (who is quite ill) asked me to please include my bro and his wife (who I understand are on the verge of divorce). I send him 2 texts, and then an email all very welcoming and inclusive sounding inviting him and his wife to join us (I prefer not to have to speak to him as he is quite vicious and aggressive on the phone) and he didn?t reply to any of them. My dad ran into him at work (they work on the same jobsite) and asked if he had responded to my invitation. My bro flies off the handle and starts ranting about how he didn?t get any messages and I am trying to make him look bad and he and his wife are NOT coming.
My poor mom. This is likely her last Christmas with us and I cannot believe he is so selfish that he wouldn?t just suck it up and come for her sake. He is the most selfish person I know. Huge narcissist! I am done. The door is closed. He is a friggin? loser! When my dad said that he wasn?t coming, my mom looked like someone had punched her in the gut! She has had 8 heart attacks this year, broke her hip, several hip and heart surgeries, suffers from renal failure (goes to dialysis 3 times per week), and has had all of her toes amputated! And her son won?t come to Christmas. Pathetisad!
DH suggested I call him. I don?t think I want to. Even if I could convince him to come, I don?t want them there. They are both miserable people and seriously bring the most negative energy into a room. Thoughts?
Re: Bro drama...I am embarassed that he is a part of my family
I'm sorry, it must be terribly hard to watch your mom go through such a hard time. If your brother feels like being that way let him, In the end it will be he that has regrets. I'm sure your mom knows that you tried to make it happen and come Christmas, I'm sure that you will all enjoy yourself much more without them and their negativity.
Just from experience... I didn't spend Christmas with my Dad the year before he passed away and I don't think I can ever forgive myself for it. We had a falling out just a couple months before and I didn't feel comfortable seeing my whole family just yet so I decided not to go. 3 months later he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away early December of that year. I was able to make amends long before his passing, but I still have the guilt of holding onto my pride and not spending Christmas with him.... so as I said before, it will be your brother that has regrets, not you
Good luck!