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am i crazy?!

okay, so im sorry now if this gets confusing or long..

My MIL is upset that we didn't see them on thanksgiving, we usually go over to their place for thanksgiving but when we asked her a couple weeks before she still wasnt sure what she was doing..so we ended up going to my grandmothers house. Now she's upset that christmas eve will not be with her the whole day. Usually we go to my mom's side xmas eve night and xmas day we go to MIL's for dinner and then to my grandmothers on my dad's side for desert. my DH and I have compromised that Xmas eve we will go to my DH side for part of the night, then to my side and then xmas day to MILs and then my grandmothers for desert..so she is basically seeing us both days and this isn't good enough? she suggested that we do every other year for sides of the family, but i said no and that we would split the days and i am not giving up not seeing my family every year since thats what ive been doing since i was born! am i wrong to stick to my guns about this? i feel like she is being unreasonable when we are trying to compromise, nothing is good enough.

ughh i needed to vent!

Re: am i crazy?!

  • You're doing plenty to accommodate her and, frankly, my head is spinning just reading about all the running around you're planning on doing those two days! 

    Figuring out how to split the holidays is always one of the toughest things to figure out as a newly married couple.  The topic comes up every year on the boards.  Stick to your guns, you're doing the right thing.

    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • That is way too much running around, IMO!

    I would tell her (or have DH tell her, actually) to get over it. You have 2 families now. Plus you are your own unit. She is not the main priority here.

    6 years into marriage, I have zero tolerance for this sh!t.

     

  • You are so not crazy.  My MIL is the very same way.  She would guilt trip us every holiday, and even though we ALWAYS ate dinner with her for each holiday and just dessert with mine...she would always beg us to come back to her house after dessert with my family to have dessert with her.  Aughhh.  Last year we said F it and stayed home on Christmas.  That did not go over well...there were tears...on her part.  This is the one part of holidays that I do not like.
  • You're going to spend time with her on both days, she has no reason to complain about it.  I'd stick to your guns
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • thanks guys. I thought we are being more than reasonable with her..those two days are going to be crazy running around to differnt familes, but i dont mind doing it if it means getting to see everyone. we are almost at the point where we want to say just screw it and stay home, but that wouldnt be fair to us or our son who wont get to see all his cousins.

    I like that part one of you said about us now being our own unit, so true, and i think thats the biggest part she doesnt get!

     

    thanks all for your input, very much appriciated!

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