Entertaining Ideas
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When people ask, "What can I bring", what do you say?
Whenever we have an event (small or big), people ask what can they bring. I know this question 'totally depends' on the scenario, but generally, I am always divided over this issue with these lines of thinking in mind:
1) as the hostess, I don't want to burden my guests in any way and like to provide everything. I just tell them 'their presence is all we need!'
2) I generally believe it makes people feel good to be able to bring something/be helpful if they offer and I try to come up with something for them to bring (ice, beer, etc.)
What do you do? How do you handle it? Generally speaking...
Re: When people ask, "What can I bring", what do you say?
It depends
If I'm hosting something for my kid/husband/self or a shower I say nothing, except maybe wine or I might ask my mom to bring an app or her potato salad (because I honestly can't make it like her).
If my house is being used for convenience (location, size, whatever) I will tell people what to bring. Usually I'll do a main and let people pick what they want to bring. I fill in any gaps.
If I have a specific menu theme planned (like a dinner party), I usually just say wine or an appetizer.
If it's more casual (like a shower) I tell them I'm planning these 6 things--a salad, pasta dish, or dip would be awesome!
If it's potluck or I know a lot of people are contributing, I'll specify "a green salad", "a veggie side dish" or "a dessert--we don't have any chocolate yet!". In that case you have to be specific or else you end up with 13 Pyrex dishes of stuffed shells.
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If I don't need anything then I'll say "Just yourself would be fabulous, we have everything else already covered!"
If I could use something then I'll say "You don't need to bring anything but if you come with an app or finger food I wouldn't turn you away
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Like you said its based on scenario, but for me it also depends on the person asking. If its like my BFF, then I dont feel so bad asking her to bring something.
Depending on the event, but mostly I just say to bring a dessert??
Usually I'll say to bring wine, soda or a favorite drink.
Occasionally I'll ask someone to bring an appetizer or dessert, but I usually use people coming over as a chance to try out new recipes..
Like all the PP's said, it depends on the situation. But I do agree, about people WANTING to bring something. If they want to, let them....
I always tell them they can bring soda, or wine, or their favorite appetizer. Something that is easy and they won't have to slave away in the kitchen to make.
I know that when they ask they want to bring something and it makes them feel good to bring something. I always bring something wherever we go- so I'd rather the host/hostess tell me so I bring something they need.
I always answer with: wine or salad or dessert. something that travels well and is easy to bring. we are also big fans of pot luck dinners and we divide everything up.
For holiday parties or bdays- i provide mostly everything- but we are very blessed that our friends and family always offer to bring something:)
When I want them to bring something (like when we are gathering casually at my house versus me throwing a party), I ask if there is something in particular they'd like to bring. If not, I'll say app or dessert or whatever I need.
When I am throwing a party where everything is taken care of, I will tell them not to bring anything.
I actually get frustrated when people insist and are like "I"m not going to show up empty-handed." That's when I want to tell them "That's what a hostess gift is for, knucklehead." Not that I want a gift, but not every party is a pot-luck. And the hostess gift was made for just that occasion. It reminds me of an Office episode where Michael brought potato salad to a catered party.
I like to provide everything too, but wine is expensive and a lot of our friends are really into wine so I usually tell them to bring that. I'll always have one bottle on hand, and we do have liquor, but I don't have the money to prepare a huge meal and buy the amount of wine needed for everyone when they come over.
If I know ahead of time the group/event will be large and people will ask, then I will purposely save certain things for them to bring. Like cheese and crackers, or a dessert, or a loaf of bread or something.
Tea Time for Lulu
I like to provide everything and always plan to. If someone asks what to bring, I just tell them either 1) a favorite appetizer or 2) their favorite drink. Or, on occasion, if I don't have a special dessert planned, I might ask someone to bring dessert.
I like to entertain, and don't at all mind taking care of all the food/beverages when we host a party. Our groups of friends often come to our house for dinners/parties because we have the house best suited for entertaining, which we don't mind at all. It's part of the reason we chose our house! In any case, a few friends have mentioned that they would like to contribute more to the events at our house because they don't host parties at their homes and can't reciprocate with providing a full party menu for us at their house. So ... I let them bring stuff to our parties to make them happy.
Mr. Sammy Dog
For me I guess it depends on the size of the party. If it's just a few select people, I usually say to just bring themselves, or maybe a bottle of wine or a loaf of bread.
If I'm having a huge family affair, I usually ask people what they would like to bring. I write what each person is bringing down somewhere. If someone is planning on bringing the same dish, I let one of them know they might wanna make something else. I usually like to make an appetizer, the main dish, and a side. I leave everything else for the rest of the family to bring.
I really like potluck style dinners, not just because it saves me money, but because it provides great table chitchat. "How did you make this?" "Wow, this is really great! I'll have to get your recipe.", ect. People like to be praised for their dishes, and usually only volunteer to make ones they are good at & like themselves. You get a great variety of tastes this way!
After hosting many holiday parties, including our latest one last night....
I've always felt like your #1. However, even when you tell them not to bring anything, they do. So, it's easier for everyone if they bring something and if you give them some guidance.
Our party is always a "heavy hors d'ouvres" party with wine, beer, and a special holiday martini. When asked what to bring, we tell people to bring either an hors d'ouvres, finger-eating dessert, or a bottle of wine or six pack of beer.
As such, all we do is get a veggie platter, cheese platter, a few bottles of wine, a case of beer, and the ingredients for the special martini. DH makes his special cookies and I make cocktail meatballs. Everything else is supplied by our guests. It's less work for us and we always have a ton of different types of food.
For an outside party, we will do a barbecue where we provide the meat and hamburger rolls, etc. We ask the guests to bring an appetizer, salad, dessert, or beer. To make sure we don't get all of one type of food, we alternate that request.