Ummm

MadameD517

I just got told "it's about time" that I'm having a baby.  (By a 20 y/o, but still)

I'm 25. H and I have been married for 2.5 years. I really don't feel like "it's about time" is the right sentiment.

I just needed to share that with some people that would understand where I'm coming from!

hannikan

Yeah, as a teacher you get that all.the.time. Including from 8 yr olds. People need to butt out of other people's private lives.

Roni.Cedra

I had no idea you were only 25. I thought you were my age... 28. My grandpa informed me that I am no spring chicken so it was good we were starting our family. ;-)

Passanie

You must conform.

walker03

Well, I am 32, married for 7 years and we are just now starting to try  People bug you at first but then they shut up for a while and then start up again, it goes in waves.  

LuckyCAGal

Yea, it it crazy. DH and I are both 27 and we have been married 4 1/2 years and still aren't trying quite yet. People just don't understand why.

jolynreed

We were married 5 years by the time Atticus was born, and I'm 28...people thought we were old and that we were waiting too long!

abvernon

Heck we got asked at our wedding when we are having kids.

StumpyG

Varying concepts of when people "should" do this stuff are so funny. In our current military-oriented community we're ANCIENT for being kid-free (we're 26 and 28), and we're like the no-kid outcasts among throngs of people years younger than us who have 2 or 3 kids a piece. Then there's sentiment in my family that we're total babies and should enjoy being child free for a lot longer. Interesting how people think life "should" progress, isn't it?

wldktz10

Oh my lord, you sure she wasn't 120?

MadameD517

Thanks girls. When it's my 89 y/o Grandma that started at 20, I'm okay with it. I get where she's coming from. When it's kids (yes, I feel like 20 is a kid!) it seems a little odd.

Hannikan, I can only imagine!

Stumpy, some of my family started really young, and then you have my parents that started young-ish and continued having kids until they were "old' (for the time that is- my Mom was 38 when my youngest brother was born and my Dad was 44) It's hilarious how people always judge based on what they did/are doing. 

loriruth

I get that ALL the time, espeically because DH and I have been married for 5 years.  One of my co-workers (who just turned 21), said "WOW!  You're that old?  You don't look it" the other day.  And she was shocked, genuinely shocked, that I was not a mother.  I'm 28.

anneg

i love the people who argue with us about how we can't seriously NOT want kids.  whenever they pull out "you never know..." with a smile and a knowing look, drew always says "not unless science fails us!"  the looks some people get on their faces are pretty classic.

fwiw, my oldest sister got pregnant in six week, with twins, at 36.  she was 37 when they were born.  you've got plenty of time. 

CarFar

I actually haven't gotten much of this. Maybe it's because I look younger than I am ? Maybe my family is just better at butting out ? Lol Either way, I think people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Also I think people are way to into timelines when it comes to every thing and people would be happier if they didn't do that to themselves ( and others)

hannikan

It does annoy me that I only get asked by ppl who don't know my DH is in a wheelchair (ie: ppl who only know me but know I'm married). No one ever asks us or brings up having children when we're together. I don't like that the assumption is that we wouldn't/couldn't have kids because of that.

pink.dutch.tulips

i got that too from time to time .. 1st when i got married (at the ripe old age of 32) then when i was pg w/ dd (at 34). it was annoying. hello people not ALL of us getting married young or have kids young.

i agree though .. a 20 yo saying that to you is i can only imagine what she would have said to an old bitty like me LOL !

pink.dutch.tulips

abvernon:

Heck we got asked at our wedding when we are having kids.

same here !

melgrady

Only a few friends told us it's about time. Some people still think I am too young to be having a baby (I will be 28 when I deliver).

Passanie

pink.dutch.tulips:

hello people not ALL of us getting married young or have kids young.

Seriously. And how much of this type of attitude is because teenagers are too dumb to figure out how to use a condom and popping out a baby at 15 is becoming more and more normal, hence waiting til you're good and ready is viewed as odd?

 

MadameD517

Passanie:

pink.dutch.tulips:

hello people not ALL of us getting married young or have kids young.

Seriously. And how much of this type of attitude is because teenagers are too dumb to figure out how to use a condom and popping out a baby at 15 is becoming more and more normal, hence waiting til you're good and ready is viewed as odd?

 

Funny you say this, I found out after that comment that that same 20 y/o is 5 mos. PG. Neither her or her bf have steady jobs, I'd be shocked if either has insurance. Clearly I'm super odd for waiting until I was in a stable relationship, job, and financial situation.

Hannikan, that would bother me too.  

hannikan

Passanie:

pink.dutch.tulips:

hello people not ALL of us getting married young or have kids young.

Seriously. And how much of this type of attitude is because teenagers are too dumb to figure out how to use a condom and popping out a baby at 15 is becoming more and more normal, hence waiting til you're good and ready is viewed as odd?

 

Is teen pregnancy becoming more common than when we were teens? Since when? It is definitely becoming more common for married couples to wait longer to have children than in our parents' generation.

Passanie

I think the teen pregnancy rate has actually been going down the last few years. No clue how that compares to when we were teens.

Maybe my perspective is just wonky because a) I grew up in a small town with good schools and there were a few pregnant teens, but not a lot and b) ever since moving to California it seems like such a cultural difference that having children young and unmarried is so much more common. I think some of that is likely either a Hispanic cultural influence, or maybe poverty? Who knows.

ETA: Maybe what I'm not so eloquently trying to say is that it doesn't seem to be a bad thing to have a child young anymore. So the paradigm is shifting younger, which means the other end of it, us oldsters, are becoming odd for waiting.

hannikan

Sounds more like you just still have culture shock not being used to seeing pregnant teens. There is definitely still a stigma about being a teen mom. I think there's much less of a stigma now about having children older than there used to be. ETA: For those in their early twenties, I think there's more criticism from those who are older than in our parent's generation. That's because people married younger then than now and were more likely to be financially stable at a younger age then than now. Today it takes longer in general to become financially stable than in our parent's generation, which is one reason people are waiting longer to have children.

Passanie

Yeah, that and I'm just a crotchety old fart who doesn't like kids.