Cohabitation vs. Marriage

InTheSun

A question especially for the couple who cohabited...

 How did your relationship/mindset change once you were married?  What was the biggest adjustment for you?

 I was talking to a friend today who has been living with her boyfriend for 6 months...and realized how different it is to be married.   

jen812

The biggest change I noticed is how we operate more like one person. I find it really hard to explain. We're still our own person but there's that connection to each other that's different now.

StingShark425

I asked Chris, he says "the only thing that changed was the commitment because now we are stuck with each other. We can't just get sick of each other, we have to work it out"   He also said, "Being married creates more of a bond between us"

 

I would have said not much changed. I do agree w/ the commitment. 

We met in 05, moved in together shortly after, and got married in 09. We did have a brief break up of 6 months from Oct 07-March 08. 

 

I do think that it depends on the couple whether or not things change. This may be flammable- We combined our money before we got married. We had joint credit cards/bank account.. It was like we were married w/o the paper. So for us, some things really were not that different.

However, there are couples that don't combine money till they get married, and even then they still don't. So there would be a lot of changes for that couple when they got married.

mrs.jenRN

jen812:

The biggest change I noticed is how we operate more like one person. I find it really hard to explain. We're still our own person but there's that connection to each other that's different now.

This is exactly how I feel. Some people say it doesn't feel any different to be married, but it feels different to me. I lived with H for 8 years before we got married so I have plenty of experience with cohabitation! We have been together for almost 14 years now, and married for only about 3 of those years. I am a patient woman, lol!

MrsShawanaB

We lived together for 2 1/2 years before we married.  I don't feel like anything changed.  In all honesty, although it feels great to say we are married, I don't think it changed our relationship a whole lot in general.

aallenba

Nothing too much changed. I did feel that H started putting more effort into being on the same page with me as far as finances go and talking to me before making decisions (i.e. hey babe do you mind if __ comes over to play guitar?).

mzpinay

Biggest difference is that we call each other husband and wife now and we have combined our finances.  I wouldn't say it feels much different than before though.   

sara76

H and I lived together for a few years first.  We combined our accounts and even bought a house in both our names before he even proposed.  Now I just know that I will for sure be old with him.  For better or worse. It's pretty cool

SCJB143

We have lived together since we were 17. Had DD when we were 18 and now we are 30/31. So nothing has really changed. We have always had joint accounts and combined our money. For us it is the same.