Open Letters

Kellybeth124

Dear H,

I wrongly assumed that you would actually LOOK at the leftover containers before packing them in your lunchbox this morning. Instead of taking your pork chop, mac 'n cheese and green beans, you took MY green chile chicken, yellow rice and black beans. I do not want your pork chop. I didn't care for them much last night and I certainly don't want to eat it reheated today. I want my chicken and rice. In the future, please take 2 seconds to see which container you're grabbing. 

- Your wife 

 

*Update: I just drove the 15 minutes to DH's office to swap our lunches. Green chile chicken is totally worth it. 

SBS0628

Dear Self,

Change/moving on is a part of life, and it can be a good thing. Now quit being such a scaredy cat/cry baby.

Sincerely, Self

Leigha12

Dear HR lady,

Please hurry up and call me back. The suspense is killing me!

Kthxbii!

mamie329

Dear former employer,

I hope implode on yourself.

 

Dear HR Manager to whom I sent my resume,

I'm awesome. Hire me please. And pay me a lot.  

luckycooky

Dear anyone involved in me getting this promotion,

I need this for several reasons.  I can do the job, even if I get nervous during the interview.  Please consider the 4 years of high performance and several personal recommendations and offer me the job.  The sooner the better.

Thanks!

B

vhcoleman09

Dear DH,

I keep explaining that I'd like to be on time for work since I only go in to the office 2 times a week, and you keep saying okay but you just lay in the bed while I'm feeding Alex when you could be showering and getting dressed. Please try harder.

-Your tardy spouse

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Dear Daycare,

Although I'm glad you fired one of the providers in the infant room if they weren't doing their job (thankfully, not Alex's primary), I'm annoyed that I can't know why she was fired due to "privacy laws." Also, I'm annoyed that another provider, who I love, is leaving to finish her Masters degree. Why do the good ones leave?! Please hire a good one that'll be around for a while.

Thanks,

A concerned parent

keb270

Dear Mother Nature-

Please give me a break from snow. We already have 40 inches and they are predicting another 10 today, 10 tonight, and 4 tomorrow. I also am not looking forward to another storm this weekend, so please send it somewhere else.

-A commute whose 45 min drive has been close to 2 hrs this week thanks to you

Philly6*6*09

Dear Self -

Stop spending money on yourself.

Also, you do not need new tires that will cost you over $1000.

 

Thanks!

hawkilady

Dear baby --

Please stop making me feel like I'm starving and then feel like I'm going to puke after 4 bites of food because my stomach feels like its in my throat.

Thanks,

Your hostess

----

Dear mom --

Just because I didnt answer your phone call or email within 2 minutes doesnt mean I'm in labor (we're not that close) or that something is wrong with me.  You do not need to call DH and make him worried that something is wrong with me too becuase you are neurotic.

Love,

Your pregnant not disabled daughter

-----

Dear cheap relatives,

Thanks so much for coming to my baby shower last week but I'm really annoyed that I have to write 8 thank you cards for the 4 outfit joint gift that you all bought at the outlet store for $3 a piece so I can't even take them back.  I didn't register for clothes for a reason -- we dont need them.

Thanks,

Your (semi-ungrateful ) cousin

Junebug060609

Dear Mind,

Please stop overanalyzing every twinge in my body.  I know some of the twinges are reminiscent of last month, but still.  Its hard enough to be back to the drawing board w/o you jumping to conclusions like this.

Thanks,

JB

Dear Body,

Quit it with the twinges and the other phantom symptoms already, help the mind out a little.

Thanks,

JB

kaleyandjason

Dear Kitty,

Please quit trying to scratch your head off. Your chin is raw and the vet now thinks I torture you. Please, please let your medicine do its work before you drive me nuts.

Love, 

Your already batty owner

Dear Marshall U,

Do not screw up my graduation papers the same way you screwed up my name change information.

Much appreciated,

May 2011 Graduate

stephriz

Dear Bosses

Please do not make me work Christmas.  DH and I do not want to spend Christmas in a hotel in the Texas Panhandle rather than using our already-purchased (expensive) plane tickets to visit family.  I've been away from home since October

Signed,

Disgruntled Employee

mrscdobs

Dear embryos,

I hope you are currently burrowed in my ute or else I'm gonna be pissed.

Love,
Your future mom

 ______________________________________

 Dear co-workers,

Stop making my life miserable.  No need to be so negative.

Sincerely,

Your disgruntled CW

_______________________________________

Dear everyone,

Stop asking me how I feel. I feel nothing.

Yours truly,

Casey

mbd62709

Dear H-

 We both agreed to let A cry it out at night to try and get him to sleep through the night. So please don't tell me you can't take the crying and I should just go in and feed him to get him to quiet down. Do you think I like listening to my child cry?

Love, Your wife who has not slept through the night for about 9 months now

********************

Dear H-

When I tell you I have a had bad day at home with A because he's teething or not feeling well and has been crying for what seems like forever, please don't tell me that you go to work and have so much more stress than I do. Um, I work too and I don't get paid for it. I would gladly let you have a week in my shoes and see if you still feel I don't "work."

Love, Your "non-working" wife 

*********************

Dear Body,

Could you please get motivated to exercise? I would love to fit in my clothes again sometime soon. Thanks.

-Self

Junebug060609

I thought up two more.

Dear Nest,

The pop up advertisements are really annoying.  Stop it.

Thanks,

Annoyed Poster

______________

Dear Person that called me at 4am,

I no longer live on the east coast.  Your 7am is my 4am.  Please pass on word as you aren't the first one to do this.

Thanks,

Exhausted JB

luckycooky

A new day, a new letter...

Dear co-worker,

You have a degree in an apparel related field.  You work with fabrics all day long.  How do you not know that tights are not an acceptable substitute for pants?  I do not want to see the cameltoe said tights are giving you.

Thanks,

My eyes