So I don't get along with my SIL at ALL! She is a vile human being who tries to hurt me at every possible opportunity (TRUST ME!). Fortunately, she has recently moved away (and taken with her a lot of stress I used to feel when forced to interact with her at family functions).
Anyway, last year my husband and I had both of our families over on XMAS morning for a nice breakfast. We try to get our families to spend time together at our home because my in-laws never invite my parents over for any events (I think they are intimidated by my parents). My parents invite them, but it is never reciprocated. I invited SIL and her husband for breakfast last year, but they didn't come because they didn't want to get up early (the breakfast was at 10am).
This year they will be visiting for the holidays with their new son and, most likely, be staying with my in-laws. I want to invite my FIL and MIL, but NO WAY is SIL welcome in my home anymore (relationship has gotten much worse since last year when she was invited as a polite curtesy).
I'm thinking about just inviting my family and keeping the breakfast a secret from MIL and FIL because I know inviting them and saying SIL is not included is not an option.
I just don't know what to do! I don't want her in my home (or anywhere near me), but I don't want to create any problems during the holiday either!
What should I do?
Re: XMAS Morning
definitely sounds like a good idea to just have your family over for breakfast. whenever we try and have both sides of our family together things feel akward and a little uncomfortable so we've been trying to do things separate (as long as that doesn't create more stress! lol)
good luck!
I wouldn't hide it from them. I think your DH needs to just tell them "We're having breakfast again. You are both invited and we'd love to have you. however, we're not able to include SIL and her family. As such, we understand if you don't feel you can come. Just let us know either way."
and be done w/ it.
You say telling them they are invited but SIL isn't "isn't an option", but I assume they know the issues, and I would assume that her not being welcome in your home won't be a surprise.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Whatever you do, don't keep the breakfast a secret from your in laws. No reason to hurt your relationship with them, because of her. If nothing else, I would sit down with them and your husband and make sure they're aware of the way she behaves, so they understand why she's not welcome. Or you could just schedule the breakfast for 8 and invite them anyway, odds are if 10 was too early 8 will be too.