Oklahoma Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Being intentional... (Poll)
DH and I discussed last night that we want to start being more intentional. Living our lives on purpose. So in that spirit...
How are you intentional with your finances? (budgeting, paying off debt, saving for something special, etc.)
How are you intentional with your spouse/SO? (planned date nights, counseling, workshops, etc.)
How are you intentional in your relationship with your child? (child development classes, parenting classes, other special activities etc.)
How are you intentional when it comes to loving yourself? (treating yourself to spa days, mani/pedi, working out, eating right, etc.)
Bonus: What is one thing you are really looking forward to in the next few days/weeks?
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment than these." - Mark 12:30-31
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Re: Being intentional... (Poll)
How are you intentional with your finances? (budgeting, paying off debt, saving for something special, etc.) We do a monthly budget every month and are intentionally following DR's baby steps.
How are you intentional with your spouse/SO? (planned date nights, counseling, workshops, etc.) We have a date night every other week or so (hopefully one tonight!), we occasionally participate in marriage workshops our church hosts and we used to do a short nightly devotional... but we've been bad about it lately.
How are you intentional in your relationship with your child? (child development classes, parenting classes, other special activities etc.) I intentionally spend time reading to him (almost) every day, I try to find fun things to do with him outside the house, I play with him and his favorite toys. I try to feed him a healthy diet and I read parenting books about raising toddlers and discipline.
How are you intentional when it comes to loving yourself? (treating yourself to spa days, mani/pedi, working out, eating right, etc.) Lately I've been letting myself watch Grey's Anatomy during naptime, which is nice for me but not so nice for my laundry.
Bonus: What is one thing you are really looking forward to in the next few days/weeks? I have something fun to do on Wednesday!! Also H is graduating Saturday (he graduated 6 months ago, but they're just now doing the formal ceremony), hopefully H and I get to have a date night tonight, Monday night I get to hang out with some girlfriends, Tuesday is H's company Christmas party which should be lots of fun... yeah lots to do the next few days!
How are you intentional with your finances? (budgeting, paying off debt, saving for something special, etc.) We've started budgeting and are paying off our debts. Within a year, we should have a lot of the major stuff done.
How are you intentional with your spouse/SO? (planned date nights, counseling, workshops, etc.) When we're together, we try to do a date night at least once every other weekend. When we're apart, we talk every night, and I plan on sending him little notes/cards/care packages until JJ and I make the move. When he comes home for Christmas, we have something planned for just the two of us every night.
How are you intentional in your relationship with your child? (child development classes, parenting classes, other special activities etc.) I get down and play with him every single night. I never bring my work home and devote my time to him and him only. I read to him almost every night [if he'll let me], try to feed him a healthy diet and have started reading parenting books. Should've done that last one earlier.
How are you intentional when it comes to loving yourself? (treating yourself to spa days, mani/pedi, working out, eating right, etc.) I take time out of my day to write in my journal or do something else for me - watch basketball, lay around and relax...something. I need to get better at loving myself, because I've kinda put that aside.
Bonus: What is one thing you are really looking forward to in the next few days/weeks? The only big thing I'm concerned about right now is the 23rd - that's when H gets back to Oklahoma for Christmas.
How are you intentional with your finances? (budgeting, paying off debt, saving for something special, etc.) We are working on paying off our debt and also trying to pay down our mortgage. We are also in the process of saving for a nice downpayment on a new car.
How are you intentional with your spouse/SO? (planned date nights, counseling, workshops, etc.) DH and I work really close with eachother everday so we try really hard to make sure we communicate what we are feeling so the other knows. We have had problems with holding in something that bothers us and then it just explodes. We try to plan date nights atleast 3x a month.
How are you intentional in your relationship with your child? (child development classes, parenting classes, other special activities etc.) Since M goes to DC fulltime at night I try my hardest to devote my full attention to her until she goes to bed. During dinner she "helps" me cook. I think this helps her learn about eating and cooking healthy. We purchased a learning tower last month and that has helped out so much because it makes her feel like a big girl. We also play and read lots of books at night. During the weekends we usually go to storytime at the library, play outside, or go to the museum.
How are you intentional when it comes to loving yourself? (treating yourself to spa days, mani/pedi, working out, eating right, etc.) I try to find "me-time" as much as I can. Whether it's going grocery or clothes shopping by myself or just reading a book at night or during quiet time when M is down for a nap.
ETA: forgot about this one.
Bonus: What is one thing you are really looking forward to in the next few days/weeks? I'm looking forward to Christmas. M is much older than she was last Christmas so I think she'll enjoy it more this year. Plus her little cousin (they are 9 months apart) will be here also and I'm very excited to start some family traditions.
Good poll! I really had to think about a lot of these (which probably means I'm not living a very intentional life!) As a side note, if you had asked about career, which is probably what I'm working the hardest on right now in my life, I could have given you 80 examples of intentionality.
How are you intentional with your finances? We're not overly so. Our current debts are our mortgage and student loans, and I'm comfortable with those since both currently have lower interest rates than the rates of return on our investments. We don't do a line item budget at this point, but we do use the "pay ourselves first" model. I suppose that's intentional, but it's a lazy kind of intentional, which, as we're lazy people, works for us. At the beginning of the month, we put x% in a combination of savings and investments and x% in retirement. Then we can spend what we want. We're not big spenders (minus my grocery store splurges) and we take on all of the side projects/overtime we're offered, so we can usually stick another chunk of change in dedicated savings (for finishing our upstairs or for a cool trip) at the end of the month. Wanting to do those two projects (upstairs and travel) are good incentive to keep our spending down!
How are you intentional with your spouse/SO? Again, not very
We do make a conscious effort to speak kindly to one another when we're tired and cranky, but because of DH's work schedule, I think we just naturally make the most of the weeks we do have together. We really are best friends (and, being childless with few friends in OK and few outside responsibilities) we don't really have to set aside time for things like date nights, etc. I suspect this will be a rude awakening if we ever have children!
How are you intentional in your relationship with your child? I spend 10-15 min/day working with Chompers to keep up his old tricks and learn new ones, schedule his haircuts for every 10 weeks, and brush his teeth 3x/week. Does that count?
How are you intentional when it comes to loving yourself? I take weekends off. I realize this sounds silly, but there's a general academic culture that new assistant professors are supposed to be working 24-7-365. That's part of why I chose to get a job at the type of college I work at. I don't have to work 24-7-365 to be successful. I stay really well organized and work really hard during the week, and that's all that's expected of me. I think I'm actually more successful that way. My research requires me to just stop moving and think some times. If I always felt like I had to push push push to keep churning, I'd miss the good theoretical breakthroughs I have while walking the dog (which is seriously some of my best thinking time) or chopping vegetables. Also, doing nothing whatsoever academic on the weekends (think Nesting while watching America's Next Top Model marathons on Bravo) make me much more excited to get back to work on Monday because I feel like I got plenty of "veg out" time.
Bonus: What is one thing you are really looking forward to in the next few days/weeks? It's finals week, so winter break gets a big thumbs up from me! I can get some solid writing done and, more importantly, spend lots of time with my parents, brother, and friends from home.
LOL! We agree on this wholeheartedly!
How are you intentional with your finances? (budgeting, paying off debt, saving for something special, etc.) We transfer a certain amount to our savings every month and are working to get both of our cars paid off.
How are you intentional with your spouse/SO? (planned date nights, counseling, workshops, etc.) H is OOT for 6 days at a time. Unless I have a meeting that cannot be missed I stop everything and spend as much time as I can with him. On the days he's home we have date nights and do fun things together. We used to do Bible studies and need to start that back up again.
How are you intentional in your relationship with your child? (child development classes, parenting classes, other special activities etc.) No kids for us yet.
How are you intentional when it comes to loving yourself? (treating yourself to spa days, mani/pedi, working out, eating right, etc.) I need to work on this. I am too hard on myself and always put others first. I love helping others but am often reminded by H that I need to care about myself a bit too.
Bonus: What is one thing you are really looking forward to in the next few days/weeks? Seeing family and friends, holiday celebrations, and my birthday.
How are you intentional with your spouse/SO? (planned date nights, counseling, workshops, etc.) Date nights, we're conscious about being complimentary toward each other and uplifting, leave each other little notes as a surprise for later, we're both very good about touch--holding hands, hugs, kissing, squeezing his arm and whatnot... we maintain a very active sex life because it is very important to both of us.
How are you intentional in your relationship with your child? (child development classes, parenting classes, other special activities etc.) We attend gym each week, he goes to Mother's day out, we go get dad for lunch (it's one of B's favorite things to do), I learn new techniques to keep him happy and patient in public, ask questions of people who may know more about techniques for behavioral issues that I'm having a hard time with...take him to fun places like the zoo/park/chuck e cheese/swimming/play dates.
How are you intentional when it comes to loving yourself? (treating yourself to spa days, mani/pedi, working out, eating right, etc.) I get manicures and pedicures usually twice a month, massages when I'm feeling stressed...I go for girls night at least once a month while H keeps B, talk on the phone with some of my besties and vent, surf the internet and be lazy when I can.
Bonus: What is one thing you are really looking forward to in the next few days/weeks? We're going out as a family tonight and I'm very excited. I love it when it's just the three of us and there aren't any distractions. I can feel us bonding tighter and tighter...it's a great feeling. Also, Christmas. Duh.
How are you intentional with your finances? (budgeting, paying off debt, saving for something special, etc.) Not really. I mean, we pay our bills and try not to let them get out of hand. We're terrible at saving, though now that one of my CC's is totally paid off (thanks to H) I can start doing that. I'm about to start doing a pay myself first in cash thing, so I can stop using my CC's. Currently, I'm only using it to buy Christmas presents so I can keep track.
How are you intentional with your spouse/SO? (planned date nights, counseling, workshops, etc.) We don't really plan anything. We like to be spontaneous. We attend no workshops, classes, or counseling, and do not feel we need to. The other night, before my concert, I called H to see if he wanted to get an early-bird-special dinner, and he said that he was planning on taking me to Rococo after. It made me feel special that he had obviously planned to do that but kept it a surprise. I much prefer that to planning a date.
How are you intentional in your relationship with your child? (child development classes, parenting classes, other special activities etc.) I do not have children. However, I do work with my students and I intentionally spend time outside of the classroom with them to get to know them beyond what I see in class. I know that it makes them feel special and it makes teaching them easier for me because they know I care.
How are you intentional when it comes to loving yourself? (treating yourself to spa days, mani/pedi, working out, eating right, etc.) I do intentionally set time for myself, though it's never the same time. I don't do spa days, or mani/pedis, but I'm usually good with a glass of wine and Top Chef or the like. I enjoy cooking and use that as an outlet. I had been running, but illness and injury have sidelined me so I'm trying to be patient with my body. I do get the occasional massage, and will be doing that very soon!
Bonus: What is one thing you are really looking forward to in the next few days/weeks? Christmas at my aunt's up here with H, mom, aunt and uncle, sister and possibly her boyfriend. We always have a blast playing Bingo and eating enormous amounts of food. I'm also looking forward to the time off so I can clean up around here, try some new time-consuming recipes that I can't always do during a regular week, and catch up on my rest and reading.