WWYD

champagnedreams

I know this is kind of immature...

I have a friend who used to be one of my closest and dearest friends, She moved to another city but we starting to grow apart a little bit before she moved. We have tried to make it work but it almost feels like we are now faking the friendship even though she was in my wedding. She is the type of friend that makes a big deal about her close friends' birthdays, etc. But the year before last she completely forget mine and  I thought she did again last year until I received a happy bday text message around 11:59 PM. This year she completely forgot or just plain ignored it. I wasn't expecting a gift but really just a call or maybe a card. 

Sometimes she surprises me by doing nice things like sending flowers when MIL passed away and a random greeting card from time to time. I sent her a card a couple of weeks before my bday to say how much i missed her. Her bday is now coming up in a few days. I can't decide if I should a.) ignore it, b.) send her a card and leave it at that or c.) call her and  also tell her i feel hurt 

i can't decide if i should try to save the friendship b/c the falling of it is both of our faults really or just decide to let it go. any thoughts? sorry this is long and mundane but it's just occupying my mind lately...

lovestosmile

Honestly: I'd send a card...maybe even call.  If you guys were once close enough to have her in your wedding--there is probably something worth holding on to.  I understand it's frustrating that she isn't being the best friend ever right now, but maybe things are crazy and she just forgot?  I'd say give the benefit of the doubt.  JMO

KRHagen

My very best friend in the world and I grew apart. She was my MOH and someone I thought would be in my life forever. I was really hurt when she started not returning calls and forgetting birthdays. It?s still saddens me to this day but in the end I just let it go. If you think the friendship has run its course and are okay with her not being in your life, then let it be.

It may be time for her to become one of the many addresses you just send a Christmas card to once a year.

MeganJ26

I got rid of all of my one-sided friendships about a year ago, so if it were me, I would not do anything, and wouldn't try contacting her again unless she mad an effort first.

GardenPeach

If you feel that there is something there that is valuable enough to you that it is worth trying to salvage, then I would send her a birthday card and then LATER (not on her bday) try to call and talk things out. Don't make her birthday the day that you try to address the issue because I think that would probably hurt more than help....

smynings_bride

I'd send a card and/or call and give yourself time to decide if this is a friendship worth sustaining before you write it off or even have a big talk about it.  Sounds like she's been a thoughtful friend in the past.

Friendships evolve over time and birthdays become less important over time and other aspects of friendship become more important.   My college roommates, both of whom were in my wedding last year, and I no longer trade birthday/gifts and we often don't even acknowledge each other's birthdays except for when each of us turned 40 we did something special.  They both live far away and I sometimes go a year or 2 without seeing them and often months without talking to them.  However, when big things happen--death of parents, birth of children, weddings, etc. we dont hesitate to get on a plane to lend support etc.  Sometimes close friends take on different roles in our lives at different times in our lives.  I fhave riends I see and talk to much more often but when it comes down to it, some of my old friends that live far away are the friends that are most important to me.

Sadlebred

I'd say send a card and see what happens. Then try to call once more in a few months. If you get no response, I'd let it go. It's sad to see a friendship end, but sometimes it happens.

busybodyk

I would send a card. I can relate to the situation you're in. I'm going through something similar with a formerly close friend who was also in my wedding. Its hard....

marisah83

Send a card.  Be the bigger person.  If there is no response about the card or no calls for awhile, just accept that maybe you are growing apart.  That happens as we get older.  I have friends that I thought would be close to me forever, and very few of them are now.  Definitely don't tell her on her bday how hurt you are that she didn't call on your bday, or that surely will be the end of whatever friendship remains.

JollyGreene

That makes me sad when this happens. Growing up we moved every few years until high school where I was able to make strong friendships I thought would last forever....but I found there are only a few of those people I keep in touch with regularly and they weren't the people I thought I would! And even though I don't see my other friends from moving, I keep in better touch with them through FB.

I have a friend who I thought was going to be a close friend forever, but we're in the same situation, only she's also done a few pretty insulting things that my hubs said I should ditch the friendship over. I just hate to lose good friendships, but sometimes there's only so much you can do and they have to meet you at least part of the way.