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Need some J9 advice please
Hi Ladies,
I just found out my dream job is going to be posted within the next two weeks. It is a full time position in my field (that is unheard of here) at the children's hospital. I stayed there for 2 weeks when I was younger and have always dreamed of working there.
What's the problem you ask? Well when DH & I met and we talked about babies, we agreed I'd stay at home until the last child we have starts school. We are planning to try for baby #2 soon, and we will probably stop with 2. Yes I realize I need to apply, get called in for an interview and be offered the job. But what happens if that happens and the pay is where I need it to be to even consider going back to work? I mean if everything falls into place and I get the job and we get pregnant easily, I wouldn't even be there a year and have to go on maternity leave. On the other hand, a chance like this doesn't come around very often and there are never any full time openings in my field. Would I regret not even trying to go for it? DH said I should go for it and we will talk as things happen.
What would you do in my situation? I guess I need advice and a pep talk.
Re: Need some J9 advice please
I have a few questions.
1) Is your current concern being away from your child? If you were to get the job, what would you do with your child? Would your DH stay home, would your parents help out, is childcare in your budget?
And without knowing the above anwsers, I would say apply for the job. Chances like this come along very rarely (unless your one of those lucky people!). If this is your dream job, it may be best to push back baby #2, till you get some time in at the dream job - that way you will be able to take maternity leave.
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
Philly-I would be a little concerned being away from Ayden and missing him/seeing his "firsts", but I also know I'll see him doing these things when I am home with him, if that makes any sense. We would have to find childcare for him if I go back to work. So that is why I would have to see what the pay would be and if it is even worth it for me to go back to work and what childcare options are out there for us.
I'd put in the application as dream jobs (heck any job in this economy) don't come along often. You never know what can happen until you try.
If they don't offer you the job, no harm done. If they do but its not enough to justify daycare, you have your answer. If its a good enough deal to pay for daycare for your child...then you and DH will figure out what is the right choice for your family.
Regarding #2: When would you find out if you got the job? If you get the job, could you push back babymaking a few months so you'd be covered by FMLA? Once #2 is in the picture you could make a decision from there.
I guess I'm thinking that its your dream job & it won't hurt to put in an application. You can take it or leave it if the offer gets put on the table, but at least you'll have tried. You sound like you'll regret it if you don't at least try. If #2 comes into the picture, you can always reevaluate.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
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~All AL'ers welcome~
First let me say I know how hard it is to imagine the "what ifs" because you really never know. On this board alone we've witnessed plenty of positive and negative surprises and we've seen our best laid plans go awry and/or lead us to unexpected end results.
I guess the question I'd ask is this: Which is the bigger dream?
Is it a bigger dream to get this job (a dream, I'm guessing, you've had since before DH and Ayden and potential baby #2) or is it a bigger dream to be able to stay home as a mom to your two kids until they reach school age, getting to experience those first five+ years firsthand?
I don't have kids, but I was recently approached with two potential job opportunities. Both seemed great - they'd offer stability and security and a regular paycheck, and they were in a field I enjoyed. But I knew I'd never get as much fulfillment out of them as I would really taking the less stable, less secure risk of being a SAHW and trying to launch my own business/creative career, which is what I'm poised to do right now.
Here are some other "what ifs"/questions to consider...
- What if there is no baby #2?
- What if a part-time job opened at the Children's Hospital allowing you to do both the career thing and the mom thing (at some point)?
- What will you miss more if you give up one for the other?
- Do you have a "bigger" dream than this dream job, or is this really the be-all-end-all of what you want? Is there something better that might come along later? What would you do if that happened?
I'm not asking for answers (goodness knows I wouldn't have them myself to offer!) but these are just questions I would probably be asking myself if a similar situation arose for me.
I say apply for it and see what happens. Let them decide if they don't want you, but don't pull yourself out of the running before you even start. You can make peace with the fact that you did the best you could and they didn't choose you, but you'll always wonder if you never tried in the first place.
As for the children, if you get the job maybe push back #2 until you've been there a little longer. But, studies have shown the children are happier when their mothers are happier--whether that's working or SAH. So, doing what you want really is doing the best thing for him/them.
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Thanks ladies for all your advice. I knew I could count on you! I will of course put my application in and see where it goes. Thanks for all the input and areas I need to reflect on as the process goes further. So many things I wouldn't of though of.
Have a great weekend everyone!
I also think you should go ahead and apply for the position and just see what happens. I can't think of any negatives from your applying, especially since D is on board with it. Even if you didn't get this job, HR may be more familiar with your name/application so it may help you get a job there in the future. If you do get this dream job, you'll be able to make the decision then based on salary (i.e., if it's enough to cover the daycare or childcare that you want for A and baby #2) and what they're offering.
As for prolonging #2, I know you guys don't want to do that, but if you were to conceive when you want to, you'd be eligible for FMLA at the new job so could take 12 weeks protected leave. I think a year is definitely a sufficient amount of time to be at a job before taking a maternity leave. (ETA: Assuming you got the job in Jan., I guess you'd have to wait a couple more months to TTC to reach that year...sorry my math was off. :-))
When do you need to make a decision about applying?
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!