Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
DH the Christmas Curmudgeon....
For some reason DH is being the biggest scrooge this year. He doesn't want to go christmas shopping and then when we do.... because we have to.... he complains the entire time. I mean I understand the crowds can get annoying.... but B#tching about it constantly doesn't help.
Also, he doesn't want to wrap gifts, doesn't want to decorate, doesn't want to do this or that or anything christmas related. Normally I can take the "I hate Christmas" from people.... but my god!! This year... has been the worst. He is literally SUCKING the fun out of the holiday season for me.
I mean I get not wanting to do christmas things all the time.... but how do I live with such a negative outlook on it that H has... walking around looking grumpy all the time...
I just sometimes don't even want to be around him... it is really starting to wear on me....
Any suggestions?
Re: DH the Christmas Curmudgeon....
This may not be the answer you want....
DH is not as in to Christmas as I am. So I do the shopping. And the wrapping. And the decorating. I don't even both nagging about his lack of spirit.
And usually, he will just join in because he sees I'm having a good time. But mostly? I just understand that Christmas is more "my" thing than his.
It seems like your H is never into Christmas. Why force him? Just enjoy it for you, and let him decide his level of participation.
I don't know if you have kids, but DH has told me that he doesn't feel the need for a big Christmas to do yet, because he feels like Christmas is more for kids and much more fun with kids....does your H feel the same?
Last updated 4/06/11
My perspective is that Christmas is a very complicated time of year. I would absolutely love to enjoy every aspect of the holiday. But there's so much stress and pressure. I've discovered I have to be very selective about what I choose to participate in.
Have you and your husband talked about what you both enjoy? Maybe the two of you could find a better balance of activities? I confess that I do so much less for the holidays than I used to. I've cut back on gift giving, order what I can online or go with gift cards. It helps me stick to my budget and is less physically exhausting.
And I've noticed a number of families who are burned out. It seems like everyone's schedules are completely full for the month of December. Hosting or attending numerous events. That can be exhausting.
And how's your DH's workplace? Some places are kind of frenetic with year end deadlines. Some people work much harder in December, depending on what they do for work.
I agree with this. My husband always dragged his feet to the store to shop for me, his brother and mom and I shopped for everyone else; baked; wrapped; decorated; watched Christmas movies and so on. Because its our baby boy's first Christmas my husband has been into every Christmas thing I want to do. Its been great. Sorry, its been tough for you, maybe it will change. Maybe something else is bugging him and he's feeling stressed. Hang in there.
I hope that he will get better about the christmas things when we have kids.
And I know I like christmas more than he.... and as far as the shopping is concerned I DO MOST of it. The only presents he wraps are the ones that he gives me. I am at the point were I just feel like saying "FINE!! Don't wrap the things you got me... a matter a fact just take them back... Forget it." Although... I would be kinda disappointed if he actually did that... so I won't say it
I don't get me wrong... I get that some people don't like christmas as much as others... really I do.
But there are just somethings I think would be fun to do with my H and I'll ask and you can't tell he doesn't want to do it... but he will.... but then he just pouts the entire time... which just ruins it. Then I wish I never asked him to do it in the first place. I just feel like screaming sometimes.... YOU ARE RUINING THIS FOR ME!!
I just find myself being more grumpy this year because his attitude is trying. It makes me really depressed. I don't really have any family near me except him to share my christmas fun with....
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
Just enjoy it whether he gets involved or not! I kind of get the feeling that you are really trying to force Christmas fun on him...who wants to do anything if they are being forced? Not I!
Just relax, enjoy the season and let your DH choose his level of involvement.
Want to go Christmas caroling? Call up a friend! Shopping? That can be fun alone! Picking out a Christmas tree? Call up your mom (or sister or cousin or MIL)!
I think you'll see more involvement from him if you just back off a bit
I know it's hard, but you can't force him to be cheerful.
Last updated 4/06/11
I had to have an honest discussion with my husband about holiday stuff. I explained to him that I would love the two of us to do everything together, but not if he didn't want to go or wouldn't enjoy himself. So we talk about what I'm interested in doing and he decides what he wants to do. He's good about trying new things for the first time, but there is a lot I do on my own. I admit I would like more of a "romantic" Christmas with us doing more together, but I don't want to drag a reluctant spouse with me.
In regards to wrapping, how about gift bags? Both my husband and mother hate wrapping with a passion, to the extent they pay extra for wrapping. And I typically stock up on gift bags at the end of the season sale for next year.
I understand what you all are saying.... I think I just might be desperate for a romantic christmas... which will more than likely NEVER be in the cards for me.
I guess I just need to suck it up and do the christmas-y things I want to do by myself.... My nearest family member is 4 states away... and most of my friends are out of town now.
It is just hard for me to stay in good cheer when he is so negative during this time of year.
Also... I am a little overly sensitive around this time of year too... 2 christmas's ago I had to bury my dad on christmas eve.... it really was awful. So for me, this season is about distraction so I don't start thinking about that.... I want to tell him about this... but then I feel like I am playing the my "DAD DIED" card.... which I don't want it to come off as.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
Anything could be afoot here.
Maybe he's not in a holiday mood. Maybe he has SAD. Maybe he thinks shopping is dumb and wrapping gifts is dumber.
How about you talk to him? Find out what's bugging him.
What is "SAD"? Like does SAD mean "sad"?
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
seasonal affective disorder
My Shopping Blog