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Need Advice...
I've been in a pissy mood for the past week or so since I found out my MIL is coming next week and staying ALL week. Short story: I don't like her because she's unreliable, dramatic, self centered, and a looney. It's always about her and she'll go through these spouts where she won't talk to Jeremy (or his brother), sometimes she doesn't talk to them both and sometimes she only talks to one of them. It honestly just BUGS me having such an unreliable person in my (our) life. I've talked to Jeremy and he understands but it's his "mom" so what is he supposed to do?
I have decided not to work PRN next week at the nursing home because I don't trust her in our house alone. How sad is that? She's only focused on money. She tells everyone I make $60/hour and doesn't understand why we wouldn't give her $100 awhile back to help her out since I make that kind of money (I don't make that kind of money). I have already told her not to worry about the $600 she owed me when I helped her out the first time but because of that I won't "help" her out anymore.
I could probably write a novel on this woman and her crazy antics but I'll save myself and your eyes. What do I do? As of now, she's still coming and acts like everything is just great but it really IRKS me to no end that she's so back and forth.
Someone please give me some kind of understanding and help me get less pissy about this.
TIA ladies!
Re: Need Advice...
She'll go through EVERYTHING. I'd seriously have to make sure everything was locked up or hidden to where she couldn't find it. She likes to know everything and then twist it all into lies and tell his family and then I have to let them know the truth (like the salary thing). It's just annoying and I'm too much or a worry wart to leave her here.
I don't know this from personal experience but other family who have let her live with them (including his brother and his FI) have had things gone missing. I just don't want that.
Oh, wow. That's so tough! Your H can't be convinced to have her stay somewhere else? That sounds bad.
I'm so sorry you're going through this!
Hrrrrrrmmmm. "FMIL, the toilet in our guest bathroom is broken and I absolutely can not have someone else pee in my toilet. It just grosses me out. I'll throw up on you if I know you used it. Seriously. There's a nice Holiday Inn down the road....how about you stay there?"
No?
From your H "Mom, we have horrible colds. ::sneeze::hack::sneeze::cough:: We think we're contagious and trying to get doctors appointments. Maybe we could schedule your visit for another time?"
Honestly, I really don't have any good advice for you. I can only suggest copious amounts of alcohol and lots of time on here.
Married / The Cookaholic Wife
You can't convince H to take off to spend time with her? At least then he'd serve as a buffer. But, if he really doesn't like his mom enough to do that, then I think he should be the one to send her to a hotel - no need to make you the evil DIL.
Does this woman have any redeeming qualities? Focus on those - or find something to do with her that you two have in common (yes, I know you may want to scratch your eyeballs out, but it's for the good of your marriage). If she's really that untrustworthy, I don't blame you for not wanting to leave her alone in the house, but a week is a loooong time to be attached at the hip to someone you can't stand...
I agree with everyone else on here.
But also, I assume that your place is big enough to have her comfortably stay for a week....? I was going to say, that if not you could always use the whole "Let us put you up in the hotel down the road. We think you would be much more comfortable there and have more room and privacy."
Unfortunetly, we've had sketchy people in our lives as well. People that we would not want left alone in our house. It's hard to deal with. My side of the family is small, VERY disfunctional, and toxic. I've had to cut people out of my life- some of which were family. It sucks, but it was litterally driving me crazy and sick.
My DH's family has it's issues, but they have the motto "family sticks together no matter what." That has been hard for us. I know that DH would have liked to have been like me and cut certain toxic people out of his life but b/c of his mothers family motto, has not been allowed too. We just keep our shields up and take things with a grain of salt for those family members. Yes, they will always be family. But, we are not responsible for paying for them, helping them, guiding them, supporting them, etc.
It sucks that this person is your hubby's mom. That's not someone that can easily be pushed aside. Has he ever talked to her (even though that might be hard and ugly)??
I don't get the staying home thing either. I'd rather her stealing a few items over a.spending time with her and b. losing vacation time/salary.
Just do careful inventory and lock up your valuables.
In fact, maybe if you emphasize just how much you will be gone working, maybe that will discourage her from staying with you altogether. No one wants to stay in a strangers house all week alone. I bet she views your staying home as encouragement "yay! DIL wants to spend time with me!".
TTC since 2010
Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!
To kinda and hopefully answer everyone's questions:
Yes, we do have room in our place. We have 2 extra rooms and a spare bath so it's plenty big enough. I could go to work and trust me, I don't want to spend a whole week with her but the commute is killer and we're already using extra gas money traveling down to his family for Christmas. DH will hopefully (fingers crossed) have Tues/Wed off so he'll be here with me to help out/entertain her.
As for the hotel thing, she can't afford to pay for it and honestly, we can't right now either. I'm really hoping she'll flake like she does on everything else.
Jeremy has tried to talk to her before about her behavior and how she acts but she just blows up. You really can't have an adult conversation with her. I'm already considered the evil DIL because I've stood up to her and don't cave to her needs like everyone else.
Thanks for all the advice ladies. I will definitely lock things up in our safe and whatever happens, happens.
Well good luck with whatever goes down.
it's just a week right?
TTC since 2010
Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!
My Advice:
- Lock yourself in your room for the entire week because you are so busy with work that you are doing from home, paperwork right?
- Spike her eggnog with NyQuil, should knock her out right?
Good luck, hopefully you will still have your sanity after a week!
I might just have to do this! I'd do the first one but I can't do that as a speech therapist...boo!
Thanks ladies!!