Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Battery Operated Toys
DH and I do not buy DS toys that light up, or need batteries. He has lots of wooden toys and books. We purchased him a climber for christmas which he loved. My brother and SIL, and MH's B and SIL both got him the most obnoxios blinking singing toys ever. They gave them to DS seperately, but they both thought it was halarious that they bought DS these toys that we do not want in our home. WTH?I know that we should be gracious and not kick a gift horse in the mouth, but I am seriously annoyed that both couples thought that this was OK. I want to address this with them, but have yet to find a tactful way to do so. We would like to suggest an experience with DS next year as oppose to a gift (trip to the zoo, swimming indoor at the YMCA, playing at Jungle Java) but that may be crossing the line. suggestions...
Re: Battery Operated Toys
I do not post here often but after reading this I have to say something.
THEY ARE TOYS get over it. If you do not want him to have them put them away and only bring them out when those people are over.
This is not that big of a deal as you think it is.
What are you going to do when said child goes to school where they have *gasp* light up toys? The child is just that a child, let him play with the toys. Even if its just for a few minutes a day a little noise is not gonna hurt.
Edit because I apperantly like to leave out words
You cannot tell people what to buy your child. You can, however, decide what it is to bring into your home. If this is really something you would not allow in your house, you are perfectly in your rights to give the toys to charity, and I would urge you to do so. It appears these people were only interested in annoying you, not iin pleasing your children, so I would have no qualms in doing this.
No, you cannot suggest gifts for the future, unless asked.
It's only good manners to include batteries when you give a child a gift that require batteries.
Other than that, say thank you because your child(ren) will not grow up in a coocoon ( sp? it's late)
What jerks. Is it really that hard to support parents on something as simple as the theme of toys they have chosen for their children? Really?? THAT hard to just buy some nice Melissa and Doug puzzles?
Oh, no, they have to mock and scorn and do exactly the opposite of what you've organized for your home, and your the one without tact if you call them on it.
I agree that ultimately it's just a toy, so put it in the playroom with the others. My DD finds them remarkably uninteresting. Those types have a lot of bells and whistles that seem like a lot of fun but don't really have much to do after a few minutes.She prefers playdough and little things she can hold and stack and lately characters, too.
It's annoying but if this is their approach, pace yourself. It's going to be years of this.
You know what doesn't light up or require batteries? A drum set. Based on your logic, you'd find that perfectly acceptable.
Lighten up, Francis. They're just toys.
Honestly, OP - you sound a little controlling and/or snobbish about current toys. I get a feeling of "wooden toys are sooo much better because a child can have fun without batteries and lights!" and "We are better parents for not allowing such ridiculousness in our home."
If they honestly gave him the gift to get a rise out of you, it seems to have worked! Mission accomplished!
It's a toy! Either let your son play with the toy or give it away to charity. But a lecture to the giver about what are appropriate presents for your child and how they should spend their money on your son in the future will only be met with an icy cold stare.
I'm not a fan of loud battery battery operated toys either. Most of my family members have kids and also hate the loud toys so they tend not to give loud obnoxious toys. My MIL will buy him a couple but she keeps them at her house for him to play with.
Do your siblings have kids? I ask because I remember when my niece and nephew were little, our BIL's brother gave them these really loud toys that had no volume control. SIL and BIL HATED these things. For the next 3 years, he kept getting them the loudest toys he could find. He thought it was so funny that he kept giving them these obnoxiously loud toys.
When he and his wife announced they were PG, my BIL asked him if he remembered all those loud toys. He said yes and BIL informed him that they had saved them for him and he was sending them all up to him for his LO. That year, niece and nephew got books for Christmas.
If you don't want your kid to play with the battery toys, give them to charity or something.
As for suggesting gifts, it's rude unless some asks you for gift ideas. Even if you suggest a gift though, they still might buy something else. For Christmas, I told several people that DS was getting into duplo building blocks and dinosaurs when they asked me what he wanted. We didn't get any of those but he loved the toys they got him instead.
This. I don't know you, but your post comes off as that mom. You know, the judgemental condescending one who thinks she's superior to those who allow their children to play with <gasp> plastic thingies.
My guess is that these items were purchased either to get your panties in a bunch, and frankly I can understand the temptation based on your post. Or perhaps these people felt a little sorry for a kid whose mother limits his life to puzzles and books so that she can feel good about herself.
I have a SIL who was a huge and vocal proponent of peaceful, natural, sustainable and educational toys as a way to differentiate herself from BIL's ex who allowed her two children to have what ever plastic junk was hyped on TV that year. As luck would have it, the steptwo kids, who grew up with Hasbro and Mattel, are now a professional photographer and a kindergarten teacher. The girl who cut her teeth Melissa and Doug is a USAFA grad and pilot flying in an out of Iraq.
May be the the best movie line of all time!!!!!
Are you sure they did it just to be obnoxious? I usually give toys that my children liked when they were the same age. Sometimes it's a light up toy, some times it's not.
Maybe they think that if your child has all wooden toys, they would enjoy something 'different." At least they know if they purchase a battery-operated toy, they won't be giving you a duplicate of what you already have at home!
This is really not a hill to die on. Thank them for the gifts and pack them up if you don't like them. Or you could just let the kid have them. It's not that big of a deal.
Maybe they got them to be obnoxious, maybe not. Maybe you should also be a little less vocal about your parenting choices.
This is not an issue to address. It's a nonissue, and the more attention you give it the more likely it is the situation will blow up.
My extended family did the same thing when our kids were little. I hated them - but, I'd let the battery die and then pass the "broken" kid onto another family whom I knew would appreciate the second-hand gift.
If they ask for gift suggestions, then give suggestions and/or restrictions. If they don't, just accept their gift graciously (you don't want to inadvertently teach your young children to judge gifts - they'll not grasp what it is you are really dealing with, IMO).
If they ask how little Tommy/Suzie liked their gifts, tell them that they were enthralled by the first five minutes until XYZ broke or the batteries died, and then, "as you know we've put a ban on battery operated/noisemakers we didn't replace the battery but passed the gift on."
If they were aware that you don't like this type of toy and gave them anyway, that's unfortunate. It does show a certain lack of respect for your parenting.
However, being so tied to the "only wooden toys" thing that you can't graciously accept a gift does smack of being smug and "that" parent. Yes you want to foster their imagination, but battery operated toys can do that too, and not allowing them in your home doesn't make you one bit a better parent than anybody else. Plus, there are going to be battery operated toys at every house your child goes to a play date at. You'd better get used to your kids being exposed unless you plan to home school and keep them isolated.
If you're really opposed, simply keep the toys wrapped to re-gift for birthday parties (explaining that to your children who want to rip into the package is part of learning...if you're going to have a rule you have to teach them to live with it), or donate them. There are plenty of children out there who weren't fortunate enough to get *any* toys, of any kind, this holiday season and they and their parents would probably be thrilled to have them.
It's s bit of a running joke in my family, My brothers started it and when they had kids the children were given the most obnoxius toys we could find. I thought it was funny, they thought it was funny and years later it's still funny. Don't take things so seriously, it's just life after all.
I do not think that I am a better parent because I prefer non-battery operated toys. FYI-I would consider a drum set a wonderful gift.
I am an elementary school teacher and I grew up with the challenges of ADD. I know that my son will encounter toys that I would rather not be in my home, however I do not want to welcome them into his everyday play. The last time I checked, many people believe that this is best for their children.
So how does ADD go with having your child play with battery operated toys? Those people that you are refering to are the ones that shelter their kids and have them rebelling in HS.
WOW!!! So let me get this straight.... If I do not let my child play with battery operated toys, he is going to rebel in high school. Really? You are a genius!
Really you are a over bearing idiot. You sat here and basically said that battery operated toys make kids have ADD. You as a teacher should know better than that. Its not about what they play with.
Your kid got a gift from a family member, you dont like it tough nuggets you can not control what people buy your child. You are sounding very selfish.
By not letting your child have a taste of the world you are sheltering him. By sheltering him he is going to want to explore things on his own whether or not you let him.
THEY ARE TOYS IT WILL NOT KILL HIM TO PLAY WITH IT
What are you going to do when those family members ask how he is liking his new toys? I only see two outcomes 1. you tell them you dont let him play with them and you gave them away-- which to me would be a slap in the face. 2. you llie to them. So then what kind of message are you sending your child?
And yes you are being THAT mom who goes around saying my kids only can play with these certain things and that makes me a better mom than you. Guess what my almost 4 year old is right now at this very moment in my bedroom playing the vsmile motion game that *GASP* has batteries and lights up. But yet he is sitting there learning how to spell.
BTW I think alot of parents can find peace in letting there children play with a light up toy when it can give them a few minutes to do something they need.
Also studies show in babys and younger children that lights and sounds actually help a child learn different skills.
All I can say is this.... In my opinion you are very misinformed.
I have no idea what part of the country you are in, but my child is in bed right now. If it was earlier in the day, he sure as hell would not be playing a video game alone in another room, while I was on the computer. And yes, I am being judgy now.
I am glad that you can rely on these toys to babysit your little one while you are on the computer judging me.
I think I am going to pass on your parenting advice, but thank you anyway.
I agree with the PPs for the most part.
Your child will be growing up in an age with computers in school, educational toys that will test his brain as much, if not more, than any wooden ladder with climbing dolls attached. (yes, I've seen these) You can certainly balance with puzzles, they make them for babies even.
One of the worst things you can do is to raise your child to be an outsider, "different" from others. You don't have to exclude educational toys in order to maintain your opinion but get a balance or you're going to have a problem later on. Kids who envy all the other kids don't do that well.
but then, you're a teacher, you know all that, I'm sure
So my child can not play with an educational toy but its okay to play with wood all day. My child is old enough to do things on his own I encourage it. Will I let him play outside alone no not yet. Does he play in his room by himself YES all the time. He has his rc track in there and other toys that have batterys and light up. He has a vsmile and if you had have had any experince with toys other than wood, you would know that the vsmile is a educational system. The games are about learning to read, work through problems, and life. As a teacher you should know that.
So by your statement I should take my child where ever I go and not let him out my sight. UMMM sorry he is old enough to enterain himself. I have time that I need for myself to take a shower, and go to the bathroom, and to do laundry. (he is not allowed in the laundry room).
And yes we are in a different country, where my H is in the Army to keep people from attacking the US. It is 1pm in the afternoon. And yes my child is awake after school playing a game that he just learned how to spell about 4 words on.
So would you rather him play with wood pieces or learning.
Lastly, HTH do you think ADD is related to toys. It is not, you need to do a whole hell of alot more research on that, than what you read on message boards.
I know that the children in my class that do not watch TV or play video games during the week seem balanced, well rested, and calm.
I also know that it is a good think for children to be bored sometimes. Kids should not have to have a DS while they wait in the doctors office, they should be able to drive in car to the grocery store without having to watch part of a movie, and they certainly should be able to sit at a restaurant and engage in conversation with their parents. Why to we have to have toys that are flashy and blink in our kid's faces when they can build a castle with a block set, or draw a picture with beautiful picture with a new set of crayons.
My question is how old is your Son this will answer a lot of my question
I've got a 3.5 yr old and have to agree with the OP on most of her points. We try to avoid flashy toys for Sam, preferring things like legos and lincoln logs, brio trains, and so on. He watched no TV til after he was 2, and it is still a rare occurance limited to movie nights with his Dad or while visiting with other family members.
If our family started giving him flashy electronic toys in order to irritate me, I'd let them have it. If they were giving him a toy they truly felt he would love it would be a different story. He does have some electronics-he got some Leap Frog scribble and write thing from my SIL just a few days ago and he has played with it some-but it isn't teaching him anything he hasn't/won't learn without it. He's been working on writing at his preschool anyway. Not my favorite toy, but we'll let him keep it and play with it when he wants. But I'll bet he wants his trains and legos a lot more often! And he has plenty of other low-tech letter learning options he'll use too. Electronic toys aren't the devil, but a glut of them does tend to lead to overstimulated kids-often seen as ADD.
Erm... you had me until this point. Now you've come across as a bit strange.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
17 months old?
lmao