Family Matters
adelee_1
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
In the middle.
So i am always in the middle of my brother in-law (my sister's hubby) and my hubby. They are both stubborn men. They are always right and don't see eye to eye on some stuff. It's hard because I know they both just want to be friends with each other. One always gets their feelings hurt about something. Like this weekend, a mutual family friend came to visit my hubby and me. We didn't include my sis and BIL. He got all bent out of shape. Instead of talking to hubby about it he got all upset with me and my parents. I don't care if they don't like each other. i am super close to my sis and also to her hubby. They have a 16 year old who we are both close to sorry i just had to vent.
Re: In the middle.
Don't PUT yourself in the middle, then. If someone brings you into the argument, just say, "This is between MH and BIL," and then change the subject or walk away.
If you're the one getting involved with their argument, then stop it, because it doesn't involve you.
stay out of it. Then you won't be in the middle.
Seriously. "This is between you and Frank; leave me out of it" is a perfectly acceptable thing to say. Or "I know you two will work it out best between yourselves without me". I bet you don't say things like that. I bet when your BIL or your sister or your dh start to complain to you about some aspect of the dh/bil relationship, you pop right in with all kinds of ideas and plans and 'help'. And a lot of your plans and ideas and help might even be right, if the two of them thought it up and implemented it; but by doing it FOR them you deprive them of even the possibility of learning to figure out the relationship for themselves.
They're big boys. Let them work out their own friendship. With no help from you.
74 books read in 2011
Stay out of the middle. Seriously.
Your BIL is unreasonable. It's perfectly ok to hang out with a friend that you and BIL share without asking BIL and your sis over.
By "getting in the middle," you are validating his unreasonable requests.
So stop. If he complains that you didn't invite him, tell him "if you want to see friend, give him/her a call." Don't tell him you're sorry he feels that way, don't do anything else - put the responsibility on HIM to do something about it.
I don't know why you are saying your H is stubborn. He didn't do anything, IMO. My guess is that you are in the middle b/c your H refuses to deal with BILs behavior. Take a cue from your H. Your BIL sounds like a drama queen. It's no wonder the mutual friend didn't want to hang with him!
If your sister stops speaking to you b/c you don't invite her over every time you see a friend that she knows, then you are better off. That's not a healthy relationship!