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Friends and affairs... taking sides?
Yesterday I found out that our best "couple friends" of 5 years (really, since DH and I have known eachother), split up this past weekend. The way I rushed to the phone to call DH, you would have thought someone died.
"Joe" got a ring for "Jill" last summer, and we were helping him plan when/how he would propose, because he wanted us there... DH is a musician, and it was at one of DH's shows, one particular song, that Joe realized he loved Jill, and he wanted to recreate that moment. (Just trying to express how close we are with Joe and Jill)
Today we found out why they split. Joe cheated on Jill. For months. With a co-worker, a married woman (with a kid). Whose husband also works at the same office. Actually Joe and the husband have known each other for years, and practically share a cubicle.
All DH and I were told (directly from Joe), was that the husband found out. Soon after, Joe told Jill (just, like, this past Sunday).
Now Joe is looking to get out of town and move to Columbus to escape the mess he made. DH offered to make phone calls around town to hear of any job openings/ friend connections. I don't know what to think of this. Part of me is really pissed at Joe. Okay, most of me. Joe is probably going to come down here to getaway for a weekend, and he would likely stay here. In which case, I would probably drive 2.5 hours to go spend the weekend with Jill.
(I've talked to Jill, and she's doing okay. Lots of friends and family around her. I'll probably try to head up to see her this week anyway).
The friendship between DH and Joe is where 'it all' started, both were friends before both I and Jill were even apart of their lives, so I don't think Joe will be banished from our lives. But Jill is also one of our best friends, and it kills me to even think of Joe coming over to our home now.
Sorry for the long post. Anyone else been in a similar situation? How did the friendships pan out?
Re: Friends and affairs... taking sides?
Ditto. It's best not to choose sides, just be there to listen. They are both still your friends. They broke up with eachother, not with you.
Oops, double post. TN was stuck
You're definitely right, especially since there is a very large part of me that wants to see them get back together.
I guess my biggest fear is Jill fading out of our life now. I adore Joe, like a brother, but right now, I'm so livid, it frustrates me to think of Joe being in our life but not Jill.
Like I said, this all just happened, and I'm still just super pissed. Needed to write it out.
Our best friends are a couple that have been together a year or two longer than Keith and I (so, about 13 years at this point). About 6 years ago, they split up. I felt like someone had died. I felt dumb for feeling that way, but I just cried and cried about it.
She cheated on him with someone who worked for him at the time. The hardest part was how much she had denied it, for so long, and just lied outright. SHE would bring it up just to lie about it, and it sucked. I felt betrayed and I felt like I had been cheated on. lol
Anyway, long story short, they got back together and their first baby is due next Wednesday. We are still best friends with them, but I still always have the thought of this one specific time she lied to me, it's always there in the back of my head. I just can't help it.
Missing our little turkey.
Estimated Due Date 11/13/12 | Natural Miscarriage 4/17/12