March 2009 Weddings
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I need to post a FFC

My MIL is irritating me.  There, I said it. Stick out tongue

So, H's mom lives out of state.  She has said all along that she will wait about two weeks after baby is born to come and visit for a week.  Great, totally fine. 

About a week ago, she called to just check and see if we know anything, she's been looking at airfare and trying to decide when she'll book her flights.  I guess to get the lower airfare with Delta (not sure why it has to be with Delta, but whatever), she has to book at least 21 days in advance.  I'm not sure what she expects me to tell her....."why yes, actually the baby and I had a talk and he agreed to be born on Feb. 1st, so there is your magical date?!"  durr woman.  H was 3 weeks late, of course I have no idea when he'll be here!

I think some of my irritation is stemming from the fact that I can only handle her in small increments (she's a great woman, just a little bit much for me and H sometimes).  So the idea of her being at our house for a full week is stressing me out.  Nevermind the fact that I'll be trying to figure out how to be a mother, but now I'll have her to hang out with and entertain for a week too.  AND I only have about 6 weeks of maternity leave total, so there is one week shot. 

Grr.

Vent over, thanks for listening.


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Re: I need to post a FFC

  • God bless you for letting anyone stay with you for a full week with a newborn. I told dh his family can stay at our house while I'm the the hospital but then will need them to go to a hotel. I don't know how I'm going to feel esp with the chances of stitches and figuring out bfing.
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  • Ugh, how annoying! I'm worried about DH's family.... they're the kind that will just call and say "we're coming to visit for x days" ... and they'll tell us the day before.
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  • I am thankful that my ILs waited six weeks before coming to visit.  Since I knew that I wouldn't be allowed to go past my due date that did help with planning their visit.  They also only come for long weekends, so that makes things easier. 
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  • More power to you guys, seriously. I have no idea how you deal with houseguests that just invite themselves, let alone when you'be just had a baby. I can't imagine entertaining after that.
  • i guess the is the one good thing about living my DH's family not mine. his family doesn't stay over... and mine ususally don't. if they come out here it's for a day. my mom is planning to come stay w/ me for a bit after DH goes back to work and i'm so excited. but that would be TOTALLY different if it was my MIL.

    heather, don't feel like you need to entertain her! she's there to help you out. don't feel bad about asking her to do laundry or dishes! :)

  • My parents came up the weekend I went to have her, but stayed in a hotel. My mom was obviously upset that I didn't give birth early in the day (they came up to the hospital while I was in labor...I progressed maybe a cm the whole time they were there...and as soon as they left I went from a 6 to a 10 in under an hour). She was also upset that May was in the NICU and couldn't be held. Oh my god, woman.

    We made it very clear to people that we did not want extended visitors for the first week while we were trying to learn how to be parents.

    Thankfully DH's parents just live 15 minutes away and MIL called every time she wanted to come over. My mom ended up coming the next weekend for a day, and then the weekend after that for a full weekend. If she had wanted to stay a week I would have been stresed. 

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  • The only way it works is if she comes to help and not as a guest. My mom stayed with us for 2 weeks after Nate was born (my Dr. didn't "allow" me to be alone the first 2 weeks). She did all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and laundry. I couldn't be on my feet much, so about all I could do is feed and rock the baby and fold laundry. Basically, she took care of me so I could take care of Nate. Anyway, we would not have survived without her. We also wouldn't have survived if she had come as a guest. 

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  • imagejustrachet:

    The only way it works is if she comes to help and not as a guest. My mom stayed with us for 2 weeks after Nate was born (my Dr. didn't "allow" me to be alone the first 2 weeks). She did all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and laundry. I couldn't be on my feet much, so about all I could do is feed and rock the baby and fold laundry. Basically, she took care of me so I could take care of Nate. Anyway, we would not have survived without her. We also wouldn't have survived if she had come as a guest. 

    Thankfully, she is on that same page.  She said she just wants to help and be there for us however we need her to.  So I really am thankful if that's exactly what it ends up being, I'm just nervous about being confined to the house with her for a long period of time.  Let's home my stressing is over nothing!

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  • imagemaynard1978:
    imagejustrachet:

    The only way it works is if she comes to help and not as a guest. My mom stayed with us for 2 weeks after Nate was born (my Dr. didn't "allow" me to be alone the first 2 weeks). She did all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and laundry. I couldn't be on my feet much, so about all I could do is feed and rock the baby and fold laundry. Basically, she took care of me so I could take care of Nate. Anyway, we would not have survived without her. We also wouldn't have survived if she had come as a guest. 

    Thankfully, she is on that same page.  She said she just wants to help and be there for us however we need her to.  So I really am thankful if that's exactly what it ends up being, I'm just nervous about being confined to the house with her for a long period of time.  Let's home my stressing is over nothing!

    If that's what she said then plan to take her up on it at all times. If you need a nap, take one. If you don't feel like making small talk, don't! Give her tasks so that she feels helpful anf if you are comfortable with it, let her care for the baby for a little bit each day so that you can get some rest.

    As much as my MIL stresses me out sometimes, I know when we have a baby I plan to use her goodwill to it's full extent Big Smile

    GL Heather!

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