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this sentence is cracking me up

" we were under strict orders to let christ's body melt in our mouths. "

and it is TRUE.

I was posting about my catholic school experience on P&CE, and Im still laughing at my own post.

those nuns would sneak up out of
NOWHERE to smack you in the face if they caught you chewing the body of christ!

thwack!

I was terrified, and very cautious of how much tooth contact I made overall. I have a very narrow bite, you know.

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Re: this sentence is cracking me up

  • My mother's oldest brother was a Christian Brother.  When he entered the novitiate he learned that you could chew the body of Christ, so when the family went to Mas on his first trip home he made a big show of chewing it on his way back up the aisle, and got his four younger brothers and sisters to do the same.  The parish was horrified.
  • omg- your brother would have given sister lucine a heart attack with the chewing of the body of christ! she wouldda smacked him good!
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  • This thread has me in a catholic giggle fit!
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  • Not Catholic, but my stepdad was. We went to his church for the first time when I was 4 or so. When everyone lined up for Communion I asked in a loud voice, "Do they ALL have to go to the bathroom?"

     

    Anyway, my Catholic BFF's son likes to grimace at her after taking the wine, because he's 13 and all tough-guy. It makes me wonder what would happen if you downed it like a shot...

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    "The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab

    Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
  • If you downed it like a shot, you'd have my mother.  She was a eucharistic minister during mass and, since you're not allowed to pour the extra wine down the drain, she'd always come back to her seat a little tipsy.  Either that, or she made up the whole drain business to help the rest of service go a little quicker.
  • Nope. My mom is a Eucharistic minister and I can vouch for your mom. You do NOT dump out the blood of Christ!
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  • I don't remember being forbidden to chew.

    My best Catholic memory is when I was in fifth grade and an eighth grade guy I knew was an altar boy for Sunday mass.  We made dumb faces at each other through the service, but when my mom caught me she got really pissed.  I was too excited to care because I was basically FLIRTING with an EIGHTH GRADER!!  Not a super hot one, but not a dork, either, so a huge score in my column.

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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • I was baptized Catholic but never received my first holy communion in the Catholic church so, as the MOH (whoa, I haven't used THAT abbreviation in a looong time) in my BFF's wedding, it was quite the uproar to even allow me on the altar. The priest told me to just cross my arms over my chest to signify that I wanted a blessing and not the whole body and blood. I did so, in full view of the congregation.

    Then they had everyone else line up and one of the bridesmaids was first in line. She gets up there and puts her hands out and he looks down to get the wafer and, when he looks up, she has her arms crossed over her chest. So he falters a bit, then looks back down and puts the host down and looks back up, ready to offer the blessing, only to find her standing there with her hands clasped, ready to receive the host. The two of them fumbled in sort of a weird macarena dance for a few seconds until finally they got it right and she took communion.

    It turns out she had seen me do the arms crossed thing and thought it was some new thing you had to do that she hadn't learned in CCD. I personally hadn't heard of the arm crossing thing until I started going to Episcopalian services. Catholics don't seem to do it much.

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    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • I don't think I was ever told not to chew. But I know when my mom was a eucharistic minister she had to finish what was left in the cup.

    Also, if there isn't someplace (why can't I think of the word?) to store the leftover communion, it is supposed to be consumed. My HS bf and I helped at the Pope mass when he came to Giants Stadium and the bf helped finish the bread for our section. I'm pretty sure he was allowed to chew.

    I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
  • The only thing I think about when I hear about Catholic communion is the part in Angela's Ashes when he's throwing up the body of Christ all over the backyard.
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
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