Dear...

LauraT25

Dear Smokers,

No smoking means NO SMOKING.  It's bad enough when I get stuck behind you (walking slower than a 90 year old) on the sidewalk or standing next to you on a corner waiting for a light to change, but for crying out loud, DO NOT smoke on the friggin' subway platform, especially right next to me.  

And I know that you're so addicted to nicotine that you already have a cigarette in your mouth before you even get off the train, but you're not allowed to light up on the escalator, when I'm stuck behind you because you're hogging the whole thing and no one seems to know the 'walk left, stand right' policy.  That smoke blows directly back on to me.  I know you hear me dramatically gagging and coughing behind you.  And I know you can read the signs EVERYWHERE.

While I'm at it, be a little more careful with that thing, even in smoking areas.  It's a crowded city, so try not to suddenly stick your lit cigarette into oncoming pedestrian traffic (burning me and/or my clothes), flick your ashes on to me, or blow smoke in my face. 

Thanks,

Laura

 

Now you go!

jedaniel

Dear lady from another company,

Lady, emailing me every day about the same subject is not going to make the papers majically appear on my desk or file room. I do not have your papers move on the the next project. I can only tell you so many times I am not going to give you the papers because I do not have them. LET IT GO!! Have a nice day.

Thanks,

Jessica

Dear H,

Yes, you make twice as much money mothly as I do. So yes I will be broke and you will not. I'm sorry you have to pick up more of the bills than I do. Oh you have student loans to pay, ok well they are not my syudent loans so don't biiitch at me because you have sooooo many bills. You should pay for more stuff than I do, you have A LOT more money than I do.

Thanks,

your loving and broke wife Jess

Musicheals71

I totally agree with you on smoking, Laura!

Dear Job:

I cannot wait until I finally find a better-paying, better-for-me job closer to home so I can FINALLY leave you!  You are so far beneath me that it's just pitiful!

From your not-so-humble servant,

Jody

debdebdol

Dear Annyoing A$$ Co-Worker,

We work together and that is about it.  If you want to talk about something non work related tell it to someone else not me.  I am your co-worker and not your friend so I don't give a crap about your personal life.  I don't like you because you are lazy, a liar, and scandalous, get the hint!

From your worst nightmare,

Debbie

PS: Enough with the smoking.  If you actually worked as much as the smoke breaks you take you could actually do something productive.  You also probably don't realize that our office smells like an ashtray.  Not everyone enjoys the smell of cheap cigarrettes.  Oh, and if I get lung cancer from second hand smoke I am going to sue you for every penny your worth, which is not much, but I'll take everything I can get.

emilyann21

Dear stomach bug, Please leave. I am not a fan of hugging the toilet. However, thank you for getting me out of the training early. Thanks, Sickly Dear Teachers, Do you d@mn job and fill out paperwork I give you more than a month in advance and with reminders! Thanks, Your annoyed speech therapist

brew311

Dear Boss,

 I hate you.  Please stop trying to be my friend.  It ain't ever gonna happen.  And yes, I will re-train the new girl.  Seeing as how I should've trained her in the first place, I'd be happy to teach her the right answers, since I've been cleaning up her shiit for 3 months.  Maybe now you'll remember why you hired me and give me some fricking respect.

Thanks,

M

 

Dear tongue,

Please stop craving fat, sugar, carbs, starches and anything that will add more fat to my already fat asss.

Thanks,

M

 

Dear DH,

Please get a high paying job so I can quit and be a SAHM.  Or at least go back to get my masters, guilt free.

Love,

Wifey

JenO24

brew311:

Dear tongue,

Please stop craving fat, sugar, carbs, starches and anything that will add more fat to my already fat asss.

Thanks,

M

 

Dear DH,

Please get a high paying job so I can quit and be a SAHM. 

Love,

Wifey

EXACTLY THIS  x100!!!

leolyns

Dear annoying general sales manager  (not my boss btw)-
you admitted to everyone that you hate wearing socks, thankfully you don't walk around barefoot but nobody has to know that you hate wearing them. Or that you only own one pair of dress socks. I don't think you're cool at all but I tolerate you because I have no choice.

~annoyed peon

 

Dear BofA-
Thanks for pre-approving me for an FHA loan. I hope H and I find a house soon!

 

eMiLee920

Dear boss,

Don't tell me to think over a proposal that includes significantly more work for me and then tell someone else I'm definitely doing it.  I really don't have the time/machines to do this.  Not to mention, I really don't need the added stress.  You don't pay me enough for the amount of "off-time" I spend worried about whether something is going get messed up.

 

Dear DH,

I don't think you understand just how miserable work is making me.  

lovethebeach16

Dear Former Accountant,

Thank you for having me make a huge freaking screw up that greatly effects our books for this year. Additionally, thanks for no longer being our accountant since now the blame is entirely on me. Personally, I think your salary should fix the said screw up. 

Love,

The one who doesn't know how to fix it 

Dear Co-workers, 

I greatly appreciate the words you put in my mouth and then relayed to the boss. You know, the ones you said, not me. Please don't be surprised if I don't go out of my way to help you anymore. 

Sincerely, 

The now-mute girl

Dear H, 

Please quickly get over the stupid argument yesterday. I could just use a hug.

Love, 

Your Wife

Dear Body, 

Please don't have a heart attack or mental breakdown from all the stress I'm under at work. I'd totally appreciate it and I even promise to start exercising to make you feel better. 

Love,

Super Stressed

lovethebeach16

I have another one.

Dear Apartment Complex Builders, 

I'm pretty sure that insulation is required in new buildings, but I'm pretty sure you didn't put any in ours. Are you getting a cut of the electric company that over charges us already? I'd have to guess yes. I'd really like to be able to take a shower without fear of turning into an icicle. 

Fondly,

Shivering in Fleece Pajamas

hibiscus118

Dear Hubby,

Please don't get like you normally do when we go out drinking and spend a ton of money on rounds of drinks for the guys.  We don't have the money and I'm not there to watch the spending.  Our kitchen remodel is more important. 

 Love,

Wifey