Could use some good thoughts/support

pjscooby

Dan and I have been struggling over an issue Tristan has been having.  He's been diagnosed with pica.

Back story - Tristan's always had a hand/mouth compulsion.  Everything in his hand goes in his mouth, no matter what it is.  Normal when they're infants/young toddlers, not as normal when they're 3 and 4.  He eats string constantly.  He's eaten the wheels off of cars.  He eats small parts off toys.  I'm always pulling something out of his mouth.  I mean daily.  In fact, today at school when I picked him up he had a Lego in his mouth. 

It has now escalated to poop.  Over the past 2 weeks he's been caught eating it (not out of the toilet, but from his underwear...yeah...lots of fun).  It's awful.  It's disgusting.  And it's dangerous.

I called the Dr. today and we spoke at great length.  That's when all his past (and present) eating behaviors started to come together. 

Tristan also has an issue with anxiety and compulsion.  So, it was decided today that he should start counseling, and next week he'll go in for some bloodwork to see if he has a deficiency that could be causing this.

We could use some good thoughts/support.  This has been a tough time for us thinking that we've mentally damaged our child somehow.  Also, we wonder if we should have said something sooner.  We just kept thinking "he's 3, kids do that...he's 4, kids do that".  It's a very humiliating feeling.

artsake

Wow, Pam!  I am so sorry.  You are definitely in my thoughts, keep us posted on how everything goes.

asf619

Oh Pam, I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. I'll be thinking of you guys. Hopefully the counseling will help your little boy to get over his anxiety and deal with these compulsions.

gapgirl972001

PICA is so tough, and I think counseling is a good idea.  Maybe he will talk or show someone other than you or Dan why he is doing this. 

Good Luck and please keep us posted

cheekywife

oh pam, i'm sorry you guys have to go through this! i hope that counseling helps make things more manageable for you, dan, and tristan. lots of good thoughts to you!

psyri

Aw man. Don't beat yourself up over not acting sooner. You're doing something now. I hope counseling helps. Keep in mind that it's OK if you don't click with the counselor. Sometimes it takes more than one try to find a good match.

rber9595

Pam,  so sorry you are going throught this.  hopefully now that it is recognized he can get some help.

sacey21

I'll be thinking of you guys, but PLEASE don't feel guilty. You're doing the best you can and you're a great mom!

LindsayMay06

I'm thinking of you all. Please don't punish yourself. You're a terrific mom and you'll get through it.

*hugs*

sethsgal05

OH HONEY! Big hugs and tons of good thoughts headed your way and Tristan's way. DO NOT beat yourself up over this. Like you said, for awhile it was a normal toddler/childhood thing and you are getting him the help he needs now.  HUGS HUGS HUGS

Jill070707

I'm sorry to hear about this, Pam. I had a cousin with a similar set of symptoms and I remember how upsetting it was for his parents.  (he did grow out of it, on the bright side)  I'll be thinking of you all and hoping the doctors can help.

MrsDuarte10/18

I am so sorry you are going through this, I wish nothing but the best for you guys ((((hugs))) to little Tristian. Good Luck xoxo

TheNewMrsPAC

Ditto everything everyone said Pammycakes.  I'm here if you need anything, and here if you ever just need to vent.  xoxo

Thinking of little man... 

pfal6

Pamcakes I agree with everyone else....do not beat yourself up over this. I would have thought the exact same thing. Kids put stuff in their mouths all the time. I am not sure if I would have picked up it either. Easy to see everything you guys missed after the fact. I really hope counseling helps him and if there is anything at all I can do for you guys, know that I am only 45 min away and I won't even need to pack a lunch to get to you!

ammorgado

HUGS Pam!  You're a great mom and there's no need to beat yourself up over this!  You & Tristan will be in my thoughts and prayers

Temp764942375002523

Oh Pam, I am so sorry you guys are going thru this.  You are a wonderful mom and you did not ignore anything.  We are here for you! HUGE HUGS!

kmm13

Pam, I'm so sorry you've been going through this!  Big hugs.  Sending you lots of good thoughts that the counseling helps Tristan.  You are a great mom!!  Let us know if you need anything!

CorisaWalk

oh pam...hang in there. it must be so hard, but you are an amazing mom. thinking about you...

weddingbellenyc

oh pam my thoughts are with you guys. please keep us posted with his progress. big hugs!

DomsMom09

I'm sorry Pam.  Of course you guys will be in my thoughts.  Let us know how he's doing and how you are doing! Good luck with the counseling. I really hope it helps. (((((BIG HUGS))))

dee&mike

oh pam im so sorry to hear that about your little guy. hopefully the counseling will work. keeping you in my thoughts.

MrsRoDeBa

LindsayMay06:

I'm thinking of you all. Please don't punish yourself. You're a terrific mom and you'll get through it.

*hugs*

This. 

Sending you lots of hugs, Pammers. 

Wedding18

You are all in my thoughts.  This must be really tough to deal with.  Please don't beat yourself over it.   Why would you think it wasn't normal before this.  Most toddlers put everything in their mouths.  The positive thing is you recognized the issue and are getting him the help that he needs.  Lots of hugs.

SuzyBride092505

Sending you lots of good thoughts Pam!!  So sorry you're going through this.  You are the bestest Mamma!!

plammy1677

I'm so sorry you guys are dealing with this. Just like everyone else said, you are a GREAT mom, and please don't beat yourself up.  ((hugs))

 

MS.JLT

It's hard not to blame ourselves up as parents.  Especially since we know how EVERYTHING comes back to us as their caregivers and we always feel worse when things are out of our control and we personally can't do anything to help our little ones....Toddlers do put Everything in their mouths.  Don't beat yourself up. 

PeterJudesMommy

From everything I know of pica, it's very likely that it's a mineral deficiency, which a blood test should be able to determine.  It's possible that it's more than just a mineral deficiency, but you would have NO WAY of knowing that.  Keep your head high - he's lucky to have you as a mom.  I'll keep you guys in my thoughts. (((((((hugs)))))))

sajigirl

wedding18:

You are all in my thoughts.  This must be really tough to deal with.  Please don't beat yourself over it.   Why would you think it wasn't normal before this.  Most toddlers put everything in their mouths.  The positive thing is you recognized the issue and are getting him the help that he needs.  Lots of hugs.

This.  Big big hugs to you guys!!

fenwaysox

I would have thought the same thing as you, how would you have known with such a little kid?...but you have caught it now and are doing something.  That is all that matters!  I am curious what is causing this.  W ehave a child at school who we suspect has this, but his freakin' mother has not done a thing about it when we told her.  This kid is in 6th grade and looks sickly as it is.  I think this kid will be eating plastic when he is 60- ugh. 

redsox123

So sorry to hear this Pam. Sending you good thoughts xxoo

pink26

Oooh Pamalam! I'm so sorry your going through this! Hang in there and like other posters said...don't beat ur self up over this! You are an amazing momma and he's gonna get through this.  Good thoughts for you and ur family. (((Hugs)))