Can we discuss this?

BobLoblaw

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/47549257.aspx

Do you think her employer is being unreasonable? FTR, this is not the first post she's made like this, she also couldn't find someone to watch her kid when daycare was closed one day, planned on calling in sick (!!!!), then was PISSED when they told her if she called in sick she'd be fired.

I think her boss kinda sounds like a jerk, but the calls for a discrimination lawsuit seem ridiculous to me.

ETA: since she DDs her posts a lot,

So, this morning I checked to see if schools would be closed before I left.  There was a two hour delay (due to weather) so I called daycare to see if they were open since they follow what the school disctricts do.  They said yes.  By the time I drove to work (1hr) in sleet and snow, they decided to cancel schools and daycare is now closed.  Work won't let me leave.  And the best part is the speech I got about how I am not a dedicated employee and how this shiit can't keep happening and how they need someone who is willing to come to work.  Seriously?  Because of the one other daycare incident, in which I found someone to cover for me?  They can bite me.  WTF?!? 

wingedbride

oh shiit. that's sjc.

 

FallinAgain

I guess maybe her employer is just awful, but I suspect that an otherwise dedicated, hardworking, excellent employee would not get shiit for having to leave due to a daycare emergency.  I also think having a back up child care is important.

BobLoblaw

wingedbride:

oh shiit. that's sjc.

 

  WHAT WHAT WHAT???????

Now they're telling her to use FMLA. Uh, isn't FMLA for when your kid is sick? http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/47550659.aspx

wingedbride

I have no backup childcare.

And I am sure you could be right with your theory of a hardworking employee wouldn't get shiit over it, but employers can be assholios too.

noisy_penguin

It sounds like her work is being unreasonable in this case - if the schools are closed and roads are bad, even if she does have a backup it probably wouldn't be easy for her to get the kid from daycare and to the backup and then back to work.

BobLoblaw

And wait, if that is SJC, doesn't she live in Charleston? So I'm not buying her "there's nothing else around me" act. Charleston =/= middle of nowhere.

samfish2bcrab

There's probably a lot moe to the story than this.   Unless the mplyer is a class "A" miserable SOB,they understand that this stuff happens and you take a sick or vacation day.  

I would be finding a  new daycare, though, ASAP.  that's the stupidest policy i've ever heard.   If Lila was in school and this kid at nonna's, Nonna would take both kids if schools were closed.

mashedpotato

shiit happens and daycares close, but you need a back up plan.  What does she do for work?  My job is pretty understanding about that sort of thing and as long as it wasn't happening a lot nothing would be said.  However I can see certain jobs would be more strict about it. for instance my friend is a dental hygienist and if she is late or calls in it sucks because there is nobody to do her work if she isn't there and patients will need to be called last minute to reschedule. 

I hate to say it but this is a major reason women tend to make less $ than men.

wingedbride

People give bad advice on message boards.

We don't get "vacation" days at my job. If I have to be out for whatever reason, I have to take a "sick" day. So, I don't see anything odd in her doing that personally.

I think it's BS if her job is giving her a hard time.

buddhagouda

I have childcare and backup childcare and still had to call in family today.

That being said, it seems like there has to be more to it. Unless her boss is a complete bunghole without an ounce of humanity, an otherwise exemplary employee should not get sh!t for taking one day off because they have no childcare. 

KayRI

That is not harassment or discrimination.  I'd like to think employers would be reasonable about things like this that come up, but I can see how they'd be pissed if it happens all the time, or if she has a job (like Mashed's friend) where no one can cover for her.

FallinAgain

wingedbride:

I have no backup childcare.

And I am sure you could be right with your theory of a hardworking employee wouldn't get shiit over it, but employers can be assholios too.

Yeah, but you work at school. If your daycare closes when schools close and you don't work in a field that closes when schools close....  It's not like they can tell patients, "I'm sorry but we have no nurse to take care of you today; daycare was closed."  Also, I note this part: I got about how I am not a dedicated employee and how this shiit can't keep happening.    It sounds like she calls in a lot.

Novemberrocks

It's hard to tell who is being unreasonable in this circumstance, given that it's her POV.  I am very sensitive to child care emergencies because you feel so guilty on both ends when they happen - bad mom and bad employee.  I would agree that if this were really the second time she's had to excuse herself from work because of child care issues and its the middle of a snowstorm, there's got to be more to the story.  Or she works for a dbag.

wingedbride

I live in smack in the middle of Houston and there is nothing around me. There is no backup daycare available anywhere near me. We have searched. We have no family here. I have friends and neighbors who work. Our babysitter works at the daycare center and if they were closed we could get her, but she has no car . I have asked my cleaning woman if she knows someone and she never gets back to me.

 

Thankfully I am part time and have plenty of days and my job isn't a pain about it.

noisy_penguin

I'm pretty sure FMLA wouldn't apply here, even if she had any left - it's for just having a baby, or when you have to care for an incapacitated family member. It's a long term thing. It's not a "snow day!" type of thing.

NPR was saying that the storm they're having in the southeast is supposed to be bad because it's a lot more snow than they're used to having. I can understand a center following school closures and closing so their workers can get home before roads are awful.

My work has been fine for the last couple years, but after I was hospitalized, then took maternity leave with Will, the first time I took a sick day I got a "your supervisors are concerned with the amount of time you're away from work" talk from my HR person. It made me incredibly uncomfortable, as there wasn't anything I could have done differently, unless they wanted me to come to work puking. I ended up saying that if they don't want me to use my sick time they shouldn't make it available, and that the other stuff was unavoidable.

But I still get nervous every time I call in sick or schedule time off.

FallinAgain

I wonder how many times her H has called into work because of the need to take care of the baby.

Novemberrocks

I'm very fortunate in that my office has backup child care - you get up to 20 days a year for it.  The problem is, that means I'd have to drive into the city (I'm not about to pack the kid up and bring him on the train). 

I know I have said it before, but it's hard when you work with a bunch of people who either have no kids or are not the primary caregiver.  I think I'm overly sensitive about this stuff...as it is I have to leave early (at 5 pm sharp) every day.  It's really my own issue, I can't help but feel there's a spotlight on my asss as I book it out of here.  I've compensated by getting into the office by 7:15 am.  Everyone else comes in at 8:30-9, so I'm sure they just assume I am a slacker.

BobLoblaw

FallinAgain:

I wonder how many times her H has called into work because of the need to take care of the baby.

I'm sure never. Crime does not wait for 007.

samfish2bcrab

Was SJC a SAHW for a while?   Am I confusing her with someone else?

wingedbride

November, that spotlight thing worries us too.

When I get pregnant again, we are still trying to figure out what to do. I will not be able to lift Dagger, so I won't be able to pick him up/bring him to daycare and can't really be home regularly alone with him.

One of the fixes is for Mr. Winged to have to do the drop off/pickup. But that is hard since they often schedule meetings before/after daycare hours

I really don't know what to do.

KristenBtobe

Yup, that's what a spouse is for. 

I can't believe that's SJC. And that's she's on that board.

FallinAgain

On the flip side, employers pay people to show up and do the work that needs to get done, and co-workers rely on others to do the work they are supposed to do.  I believe that your sick/personal/vacation days are yours to use as you need (short of a policy that sick days need to be documented or something) without pushback, but I don't think employers are a-holes for not caring that you don't have back up child care.

wingedbride

FallinAgain:

On the flip side, employers pay people to show up and do the work that needs to get done, and co-workers rely on others to do the work they are supposed to do.  I believe that your sick/personal/vacation days are yours to use as you need (short of a policy that sick days need to be documented or something) without pushback, but I don't think employers are a-holes for not caring that you don't have back up child care.

I agree with this, except I believe there can be some work situations that just provide a little more flexibility and understanding than others. I couldn't work in a situation that was not as flexible as mine.

 

KayRI

wingedbride:

When I get pregnant again, we are still trying to figure out what to do. I will not be able to lift Dagger, so I won't be able to pick him up/bring him to daycare and can't really be home regularly alone with him.

It sounds like Dagger is about ready to start driving and carrying the groceries for you, so I wouldn't worry too much about it 

Backup child care is hard to find if you're looking for someone other than family and friends.  It's especially hard to find for a kid who is sick. 

SarahBethBR

I think the calling in sick thing might just be a policy difference.  Even in our office, contractors (and some of our hourly employees, I think) can use their sick time for whatever.  But salaried people don't have a set amount of time (other than vacation), so we just say what the actual problem is.  Situations like this are when I'm very glad I can work from home.

I think finding backup childcare in the middle of a snowstorm would be a nightmare.  But if you're a nurse, then yeah, I think you know you need to go to work. 

SarahBethBR

wingedbride:

I agree with this, except I believe there can be some work situations that just provide a little more flexibility and understanding than others. I couldn't work in a situation that was not as flexible as mine.

YES.

There really needs to be more understanding of life at work.  In my opinion, it makes for more productive employees, not less.

wingedbride

SarahBethBR:

wingedbride:

I agree with this, except I believe there can be some work situations that just provide a little more flexibility and understanding than others. I couldn't work in a situation that was not as flexible as mine.

YES.

There really needs to be more understanding of life at work.  In my opinion, it makes for more productive employees, not less.

word sister friend. Mr. Winged's work expects you to work evenings, weekends, etc. He had a 5am meeting last week. He generally works 7-6 every day and he still doesn't work as much as many do.

lmydogally

Do we know for sure this is SJC?  I always wondered what happened to her.  Last I saw her she was on the Home Buying Board.  

I have to say, I could see my boss reacting this way and not understanding that day care is closed.  She has a mom who watches her kids all day for her in her house and she travels all over the states for work every week.  She has a 8 month old and 3 year old and works until 10 pm at night and all weekend.  I just couldn't do that. 

We have no help so when/if we have a kid, I have no idea what I would do.  I think finding back up day care is very difficult as most day cares don't just take kids at the last minute if you never use them.

Mofongo

I can see both sides. As a human I understand life happens, even if you don't have kids. Her boss sounds like an ass, but there is probably more to the story. I have 7 immediate co-workers, 2 have kids. They call out often, come in late, leave early, all related to 'kids'. So, as a co-worker, yes, it is very annoying when you are always covering for someone because they have children. I understand being a parent is number one priority, but you also have a full time job and co-workers you are responsible to. At some point it just doesn't feel fair to the rest of us. I may be a bit bitter about this right now as it happened quite often during the holidays. These children are in school, not daycare. Sometimes it just feels like it's a free pass for them to come and go as they please.

sjjs

I have kids and work at a hospital.  Shiit happens.  Whenever there is a storm, I know which of my co-workers will be calling in.  As one who shows up, it really does suck.  I can understand being caught off guard as a brand new parent, but really, it should only take once to figure out that you need a Plan B and maybe a plan C and D.