Newlywed transition

ksalem318

My british husband and were recently married (June '10) and in the past several months, once the excitement surrounding the summer and our wedding had passed we are finding a lot of my friends to be distant. It's lovely being together and setting up house, don't get me wrong. We have a puppy and enjoy a bunch of hobbies together. But our social life has really taken a hit. Mind you, many of my friends are single. I guess this could be a dividing factor? He moved here from London so we are also only going on my friends alone. Any ideas of ways to meet other newlyweds in the area? I know when my parents married and moved out to the suburbs there was a 'Welcome Wagon' society that held cocktail parties and picnics but it seems for us urbanites in the 2010's, meeting new, like-minded couples at this age is tricky! Help please!

lawby2005

Hmm tough one! But for the single pals, can you hang out with them, without him being there? I hang out with my single friends for happy hours etc. The whole couple friends thing - I am not help on that. Most of the couples that DH and I hang out with are much older, and we rarely hang out to be honest. Good Luck though.

MrsKocal

we had the same thing happen when we got married.  Our single friends were still out doing their single thing, and we were the only married couple so were often left out.  We are also the first to have a baby, but now that some others are joining us in that area, we've started hanging out more again!  No advice for you though, we didn't do much about it other than biitch to each other :-)

Tsbest11

Yeah this can be a tough situation. First, I would say you should reach out to your friends and suggest to do something together that is fun that everyone (single or couples would want to do) like a fun group gathering (Sushi night, paintballing, etc, etc.). When you hang out, don't be hip to hip with your husband and let him get out and talk to your friends so they become his friends too. 

Also, you should go out solo once in a while to hang at HH with your single friends. I organize a bi-monthly HH for ladies only and this allows me to hang out with my single girl friends without them always feeling weird about hanging out with couples (believe me, even if you dont feel weird, they do).

Lastly, I would say if you want to hang out more in a couples situation, and allow your husband to meet some of his own friends, I would suggest you both or he alone, joins a meetup group (meetup.com) and signs up for a group on a topic/hobby, etc. of interest. For instance, my sister's boyfriend was in this same kind of situation, and they both signed up for a running meetup group and met a few people that he now hangs out with my sister, or sometimes, he goes out without her. This will help get him in a situation to meet people and make his own friends.  Also, there are always people at work who are looking to do something, so he should organize an HH with work friends and that might also get the ball rolling. Hope this is helpful!

ksalem318

Thanks so much TSbest, great advice. I just looked into meetup.com and it's a great website, so thanks for that!

Temp663997437501443

I didn't really change who I hung out with once I got married.  We still hang out individually with friends, we still got together with our common single friends, and we still go out to bars and such. 

I think the best thing is to make sure to make plans with your friends.  It can be hard with work and life to keep up with connections you already have. If you really want to meet new people, the best ways to connect with people with whom you have common interests is to get involved: places of worship, work, professional/social organizations, volunteering opportunities.  Is there a Brit group in the city that he could join?  Is there an cause that you are interested in joining?