In laws

debdebdol

How well do you get along with your in laws?

My father in law passed away almost 12 years ago.  He and MIL were never married.  I don't have a relationship with MIL.  She has never been a part of DH's life.  Occasionaly he will get a text from her.  He rarely gets a call from her.  I never get a call from her, text from her, nothing.  At times I wish she were more involved in his life, our lives.  But perhaps that she's not an overbearing mother is not a bad thing.

I only have one SIL and two BIL's all of which are her kids.  They are young from 17 to 21.  We rarely see them, let alone have any contact with them.

My brother is engaged.  Still haven't set a date but I think his fiance, oh I cringe when I say that, is pushing him to set a date.  They have been together since he was 16 and she 15.  They're now in their early 20's.  She is one crazy broad!  There have been some instances where I have found her on top of my brother attacking him and I've had to pull her off him.  And some where she argues with him and I've had to tell her to leave or I'll call the cops.  She has jealousy and rage issues, I hope that if they really get married that she treats my brother right.  I can't tell my brother anything because he loves her and I don't want him to get mad at me, it's tough.

diablesse

Ugh, that's a tough situation about your brother.  I've got nothing.  Try taping them one night when they are fighting and play it back.  Sometimes people don't realize how vicious they are being. 

 My in-laws are pretty great.  I've had some issues with one SIL but we totally worked through them and we are pretty good friends now.   I've had lots of issues with my BIL but so has everyone else.  I think he and his family are finally starting to see the error of his ways and he is coming around.  My relationship with him is pretty decent now.  

Families in general can be tough to deal with.  Anyone who claims everything is perfect is lying. 

JenO24

That's really sad that your hubby doesn't have much of a relationship w/ his Mom, but maybe it really is for the best like you said.  As for your brother and his girl...yikes, marriage won't help solve any of that hot mess!

I get along ok w/ my FIL.  We see him once a week usually for dinner on Friday nights.  He talks to Don a few times a week on the phone, but doesn't really call me for anything, which is ok.  As for my MIL, she's not in the picture.  She split when Don was 7 and never looked back.  She talks some to my SIL, but not about anything serious (per SIL's shrinks advice).  Don wants nothing to do w/ her.  So much so that he refused to send a courtesy invite to her since we invited her 2 sisters to our wedding.  I didn't push the idea.  MIL flipped a sh!t when she found out that her sisters were invited and not her.  Thankfully she didn't decide to come down and crash the wedding, but the hotel staff was alerted "just in case!"

Don gets along ok w/ my Mom.  I talk to my Mom every day, but her and Don don't really have much communication outside of "me."  As for my Dad, he passed away 9 yrs ago so Don doesn't have to worry about a FIL, which I think is ok w/ him b/c I'm pretty sure my Dad would have given him heLL when he asked to marry me!

QueenofAnything

I get along really well with MIL and my BILs. I'm not a FIL fan, but he's not obnoxious or anything, he just does weird things. He's turning 70 and he totally hits on young, pretty, blonde waitresses when we go out to eat. HARD. It's pretty harmless but just weird. And H and I (back when we were FI and I) made dinner at the ILs house once, we made Chicken Parm, which FIL orders EVERYWHERE, Carrabba's, Olive Garden, the little Italian place down the street. FIL didn't even touch it. Everyone else loved it and had seconds. He didn't eat a thing on his plate and afterwards went and got leftovers from the night before out of the fridge. Idk why, but that sticks with me. One day, he'll do something that gets me mad and I'll just be like "YOU DIDN'T EAT OUR CHICKEN PARM!" Oh and FIL has NEVER come up to visit H and I.

And then there's SIL. She's almost 30, but acts like she's 15. She dresses like a little girl (but like a little girl from the 90s), she finally, after 12+ years JUST passed her permit test and road test (not from lack of trying) and JUST got her first job (she's had her associates in some sort of child care field since she was 20). I may have said this before, but she doesn't understand why I can't just be her sister and why I'm a SIL. I have no real problem with her, it's just that she can make things REALLY awkward.

But MIL is awesome. And I my BILs. And older BIL's baby momma and their baby. So that makes up for weird FIL and SIL.

Neither H or I get along very well with my family.

mushE

Seriously, I feel like I hit the jackpot. H's family is great! I think it helps for holidays that our families are not in the same area, so there's no pressure to try to do 2 Christmas celebrations, or anything like that. We're either in one place or the other.

jedaniel

Gosh, thats some crazy stuff about your brother and his fiance.

I get along with FIL and BIL. Me and MIL have had our moments but overall we just get over it. We went about 2 months without talking at all at one time. After the wedding it got better. H loves my parents and my brother. During the holidays it gets alittle sketchy because of the splitting up the time.

emilyann21

I don't get along with my MIL, at all. I can play nice, if I have to (like the week after Christmas when she came to stay for a week).MIL is a 45 y/o in a wannabe 18 y/o's body. It's just annoying and she loves to play the sympathy card.FIL has yet to come visit and flat out told us the only way he would even think about making the drive would be IF we had kids and not to count on that. 

BIL is a douche but I can handle him better because I actually talk back unlike the rest of his family. He thinks he's all big and bad and it's just annoying. I wish his FI would say something and stick up for herself.

I actually LOVE J's yang-yang and papa gene (his mom's mom and stepdad). They are awesome. 

J loves my parents and gets along with them great! He's okay with my sister's and their husband's but they're not his fav.  

hibiscus118

Wow that sucks about your MIL.  I can't imagine not speaking to my own (hypothetical) children, and I don't really understand parents that don't.

 I get along with mine.  MIL is very OCD about some things and I can't take her for more then a few days when we go on vacation.  My BIL had a crazy-b!*** of a g/f when me and H first started dating.  They were together for about 5 years total.  We HATED each other, I could handle her in small doses but she caused a big fight with H and his brother because she wouldn't hash it out with me and wanted to put them in the middle of it. It caused H and his brother to not talk for about a year.  It killed their parents.   We got engaged during that year and she threw a fit apparently.  He bought a ring but she cheated on him before he ever asked her.  H and my BIL worked out their issues and he was BM at our wedding.  He is with another girl now that is awesome and they are getting ready to give us a brand new niece in May.  We thank our lucky stars every day that his ex cheated on him.  

 H gets along great with my family.   

citygirl17

DH's mother was very nice to me at first, but as soon as she realized DH and I were really starting to become serious, our relationship become strained.  She was jealous of all the time he and I were spending together, and when he moved out of her place in NYC to move in to an apartment with me in Boston (completely his own decision - she thought I forced him to), it was the icing on the cake.  She was cold and resentful towards me and talked about me to DH and his family behind my back.  She never congratulated us when we got engaged and told me to my face she did not want DH to leave.  Unfortunately, just after we got engaged, she found out her cancer had returned and metasticized.  We'd go to visit her and I would take care of her in bed, giving her meds, making her tea, waiting on her, etc.  We became ALOT closer when she started to see me in that different way and we made alot of progress before she passed away.  I could feel really good things happening and wish we had a little longer to spend with each other.....

After she died, I began working on my relationships with the rest of DH's family.  I love my FIL, SIL, aunts, uncles, cousin in law.  DH is Puerto Rican and in his culture families are very close knit - the be all, end all.  It's very difficult for them to let an outsider into their clan, even harder because they all had these preconceived notions about me from what DH's mom was telling them.  But as I've been getting to know everyone, I'm winning them over one by one, and life is good   that's why I was so excited to go visit his aunt, uncle and cousin over New Years weekend.  We really felt like a family and it was amazing.

My family has been alot easier on DH - everyone loves him.  My sister can be a challenge for anyone but everyone gets along nicely!

leolyns

I love my in-laws and they love me. James is one of 4 kids (all boys) and the youngest; I finally got to meet his oldest brother a month before our wedding. I do like my BIL's...one is kind of weird but he means well and is nice, the other is okay but stuck on himself and not family oriented and the older brother lives in Germany.

James gets along with my sister, my family (mom, grandparents, cousins, aunts & uncles and my dad) and my family loves him too, so it makes it so much easier.