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What would you spend?
Background info, I'll keep it short and sweet.
My sister's friend is pregnant. They've been on/off as friends since high school. (Pregnant friend doesn't stay in touch very well.) Baby daddy is an ex-felon major loser and mom-to-be got laid off so veryone is sad/worried about baby. Shower might be a bummer(??). My sister invites me to baby shower since I know pregnant friend. Not many people will be there - mom-to-be isn't close with many women. I said I'll go. They are poor and will need the essentials. What should I spend? What essentials are most important? I'm thinking food and diapers?
p.s. Mom-to-be thinks they are a "good couple" because they poop in front of each other. I'm worried for this kid... It sounds like mommy and daddy lack some common sense. :-(
Re: What would you spend?
I think I might know (through friends) this person...
I don't know that I'd get them food or diapers. Reason being - the food might be the wrong kind, the diapers might be the wrong size or might not be a brand that ends up working for the baby.
I would give whatever you can afford - $40? and consider it a good deed, even though you might not normally spend that much on someone that you aren't really friends with. I'd get a gift card for Target (or Walmart, I hate them, but if that's what she's closest to...) and I'd wrap it in a baby blanket. You can always use more baby blankets.
jack | born 9.13.12 at 40w4d | 9 lbs 12 oz | 23 in
my puppy loves - chloe & jenson
pregnancy blog | chart
Agreed, except that I would get diapers. I'd get a couple of packages of diapers and wipes. I'd also add some cute, but inexpensive onesies. That might be over the top of what other people would get, but it's probably what I'd honestly do.
Judging
I'm curious if we're thinking the same people.... PM if you want. :-)
They registered for a certain type of diapers so I would get those. Can you exchange unopened diapers? I would think so....
Actually...my mom is making a diaper cake thing so maybe a gift card is a better idea. They can decide what they really need.
Good point. I would know exactly where my money went. It probably goes without saying that these two didn't get to this point in life by making great decisions.
I think you should definitely get them diapers! I would recommend that you get them size 1 or 2 diapers. Babies are not in the newborn diapers very long, and I'm sure other people will buy them, so they will have plenty.
If it were me, I would probably spend a total of $40-50 since it sounds like she needs the help. Maybe even a gift card to Target.... that way she can buy something that she really needs if no one buys it for her.
Sounds like a sad situation.
My Bio
Married Bio
That is good to know. I know ZIPPO about diapers!!
My go-to gift used to always be Goodnight Moon until a new mom told me that every baby gets at least 10 copies of that book. Oops! :-)
Great ideas everyone - thanks!!
no lie, i used to cry every time i read that to my son.
annnnddd... in fact, i just googled it, found it and started reading it... and i'm crying now.
heartstrings yanked.
Aww - but it is a good cry right??
I agree with the others re: the price range, but disagree with a couple of the suggestions. Here are my reasons
Baby Blankets - Please, DO NOT get her a baby blanket. Baby blankets are cute, and snuggly, and great. Until you are drowning in them. After DD was born, I literally had over 40 baby blankets - not a single one that I bought myself. Many were homemade so I didn't want to get rid of them. They seem to multiply and I don't know what to do with them. I have never met a mom who said "we don't have enough baby blankets"
Diapers - I know many babies (my DD included) who are sensitive to one type of diapers or another (we can only use 7th generation as they are latex & chlorine free) - what a bummer if you got her something that they couldn't end up using.
Lotion/Soap/etc - I have 5 bottles (just went to count) of baby lotion and shampoo from shower-gifts that I haven't touched yet. Not to mention several 'gift sets' that I sold at a garage sale this summer. Again, soap/lotion/medicine are personal-preference type things that babies can easily react or be sensitive to.
I would talk to the mom (or to someone who has connected with her) and find out if she is registered and what her key needs are. Things like a crib mattress (or pack-and-play or whatever their sleeping-plan is) aren't glamorous but they are expensive and necessary. Maybe you could team-up with someone and spend $100 to get one of the larger needs? (car seat or mattress or something)
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
No one is going to comment on this part? Really? This is one of the more absurd ways to evaluate a relationship that I've heard.
I would say to buy stuff like diapers, wipes, lotion, bath soap, etc., thinking that even if someone else gets the same thing, they will need more eventually. But I'm not a mom, so what do I know?
On a somewhat-related tangent ... almost every one of my friends who's a mom has registered for something called Butt Paste. Is this really a good product or do people register for it because it has a funny name and is amusing to see on the registry?
Mr. Sammy Dog
It really is great stuff!
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
Butt Paste it is based on the name alone!!!
They are registered for a ton of Huggies diapers in every size. Can unopened diapers packs be exchanged if they find something else that works better for them?
I guess it shows they are "open and honest" with each other. Huh. DH and I are open and honest but you better believe that bathroom door is shut tight if I'm doing any business!!!
I really wish them the best....we will see. :-/
We got some Butt Paste a shower gift. I never used it but SO brought it along to California when he & DS were out there in November. SO's aunt used it once & said it stained any fabric it happened to get on. DS has never really needed any diaper rash ointment but if needed, we use Desitin.
I'd get diapers (size 1 or 2), wipes, onesies, or a giftcard to BRU so you know it will be used on items the baby needs.
Huh. Who knew? I sure didn't. :-)
Thanks for the advice...I think I'll go that route in the end. I have a feeling DH isn't going to want to spend very much on this but I've know mommy-to-be for a long time and want to help her out... :-/