Caribbean Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Hey, you know what board is scary?
The infertility board on the bump. Obviously, I have compassion for them but dudes , they go over board on their grief. One girl complained last week that her RE Office had the nerve to put her in a room next to an ultrasound and she could hear a heart beat. GASP. Another complain yesterday about women on that board who get pregnant with twins after just one IVF. Double GASP.
They scare me.
IVF#1 May 2011
15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI
+ HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012
Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
Re: Hey, you know what board is scary?
I knew you were going to say infertility. I just knew it.
There was a long thread yesterday about how some people got jealous that an IVFer got pregnant on the first try. It was sort of....eye opening. Wow. Like, unless you have been through 4 unsuccessful cycles you are not worthy. I seriously cannot see myself doing 4 cycles without being completely insane. Yes, that is partly due to the fact that I am OOP and that shiit is ridiculously expensive, but shoot me if I do that to myself 4 times and am still trying. Someone tell me to move on with my life and figure out a different solution.
ETA: sorry, Dawg, I must not have read your last sentence. I think we are referring to the same thread.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
this article is hilarious and more or less on topic, if you haven't already seen it.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/24/AR2010102402642.html
At least most of those woman have crazy meds pumping through them, right?
I can't imagine the pain they are going through but so were the people who went through IVF once.
Exactly, Mulva. They make me question if I want a baby bad enough because I don't get pissed at pregnant people.
Lisa, I think 2 IVF rounds would be my max. It's hard on your body and I have things I need to do that don't involve going to the Dr. three times a week to get my uterus checked.
If we were told tomorrow that it would never happen for us, I would cry for a day and then go out and spend the money that would go to day care on a really sweet RV.
That board is a weath of info but man they are bittercrazypeople
Yeah, there's sensitivity to someone having a hard time (not, you know, thrusting babies in their face and saying HERE, HOLD MY BABY!!!!) but there's also having enough self-awareness to realize that other peoples lives continue on and you have no right to ask them to stop or downplay their own joy.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Sing it, sister. Plus, I know the issue is my eggs (quality not quantity) and I know that IVF can't necessarily overcome that.
I have to say that I have only recently gotten to the point where pregnancy announcements don't sting. I don't hate pregnant people, I just feel genuninely jealous. But I know enough to be ashamed of those feelings. Plus, I would feel awful if a friend with through IVF and it didn't work or if I had a friend who went through a miscarriage. I don't wish that shiit on anybody.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
Jesusfuck do these people not listen to themselves?
"I burst into tears," she recalled. "It made me so angry. She had just gotten married, and there's this presumption that it was an accident. I can't comprehend having an accident."
And then the requisite complaining about people complaining about discomfort.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I've had a number of friends who have dealt with fertility related issues, and I feel for them. It seems like a long and painful road. That said, a lot of roads are long and painful - it doesn't mean that you get to shun people because they don't share your particular challenges. Imagine if I deliberately avoided all of my friends who have two living parents? Or if every time I saw my father in law or my mom's new H, screamed at then, "You're not my real dad!"?
We don't get to pick and choose our personal tragedies. You get what you get, and you deal.
Exactly and what Moo said. The issue with that board is that no one says "hey wait a minute, your acting nutty. Pull yourself together and get your emotions in check." Instead they all encourage the crazy and say " Oh Cutie, you have every right to hate women who get pregnant after just one IVF. keep on acting nutty and we will support you."
If I ever get all freaky going through this, I am counting on all of you to put me in my place.
it takes a special kind of person to dedicate their life to obtaining something, sanity or rational thought be damned...
I like to think that those people have just found each other and feed into their own hysteria...rather than think that people I know who suffer from IF are as insane as some of those nutters.
I got scolded a couple of times on botb years ago for expressing too much disappointment in a negative pregnancy test, because I wasn't being respectful of the people on the board who had been trying longer than I had been...like, is there a scale of permittable feelings corresponding to the number of cycles you've been trying?
This X100. After my BIL passed away my own brother came to visit and I was trying to be sensitive to Jason (both of them were suppose to come) and Jason finally said something to me along the lines of you know your still allowed to be close to your brother.
My question is what happens when Bitterest Betty get pg? Does she announce it and it's ok because she's Bitterest Betty and has suffered sufficiently? Does she one day disappear never to be seen again and the other Bettys just know that she got a BFP and think damn her?
I don't get 1) not wanting to celebrate board friends' successes and 2) not wanting to hear all about the successes. Wouldn't that give you hope?
I agree, November. One thing I always have to remind myself of is that everyone has their issues. Just because someone has kids easily doesn't mean they don't struggle eslewhere in their life. Maybe they are jealous of me because...I dunno, I have a great husband.
I look at a friend of mine who on the surface has everything that I want for my life but cannot currently have - a perm. job, a house, a kid. But, I would not trade her life for mine ever. Yes, she has an adorable kid, but her husband is a no good a-hole that spends all her money. She doesn't stand up to him, she works when she would rather be home with her kid because her husband can't hold a job and spends money like the spoiled little rich kid he is. No freaking thank you.
I don't like my struggles, but I sure as shiit don't want hers.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
well...whenever Chrysallis got pregnant, she seemed to sort of disappear, only to reapear with a frothing verve on the AP board...
she wasn't one of the longest suffering IFs but she was absolutely one of the loudest suffering and least rational ones of her time. holy crap was she nuts.
Fallin, you are allowed to announce your first and second beta numbers (essentially a pg announcement) but after that you have to post on the PAIF (pg after IF) board. No u/s announcements or anything. That's being smug.
I agree, I want to hear that someone in my situation has gotten pg - it makes me feel like it could happen for me, too.
I admit I was stalking the board for Lyse's pg announcement and felt a little wierd when she posted it on PAIF first, but now I know why.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
Me, neither. The adoption board is filled with people longing for children, and although you get to a point where you are a bit jealous when someone else brings home their child, we still celebrate every new family.
2013 Calendars and More!
This
I had to read this twice, wondering what tragedy meant you couldn't get your hair did.
Yeah, I want to be compassionate because I know it must be awful, and jealousy and disappointment are to be expected. But kids aren't something you deserve or not, and no one owes you a baby. I guess it's easy for me to say, but some of the grief seems more like entitlement.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
Yes, Lisa is correct. You are no longer aloud to hang out in the pool of bitterness once you are pregnant.
What I wouldn't give for some curly hair. The injustice!
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
I went through a rough patch where a friend of mine told me she got pregnant on her honeymoon and then went on to give me pointers on how to get pregnant. I know she was just tryign to be helpful, but it really upset me and made me think that other people thought I just wasn't doing it right and that's why it wasn't working. Of course I never said this to her and realized this was completely my issue, not hers. And I was still able to be happy for her. But it was tough for a little while.
I went through a lot of the "why me" stuff, and at first I thought the infertility board was a good outlet for me because no one else in my life could understand what I was going through. But I soon realized it was so easy to get sucked into the biterness and I made my visits to that board more infrequent. I was always happy to hear that IVF was working for others. I wanted the success percentages to keep going up so if I ever needed to go that route I would have a better chance!
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
lyse, that reminds me! I once saw a thread where some chick was like, "so, insurance will pay for 3 rounds of IVF. Should I go forward w/ round 2, knowing it most likely won't be sucessful, since the benefit is there, or should I forego knowing how hard it will be on my body?" (or something like that... I really can't remember most of the details...)
B*tches be crazy and jumped all over her b/c they felt she was so cavalier, boasting of her extraodinary IF coverage, not being sensitive to the majority, who all had to come OOP. TRAGEDY OLYMPICS.