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Sitter vent. Warning it will be long.
Let me just say that I hope the hospital decides to close the psych clinic that I work in. The pyschiatrist's last day is March 14th, and so far the hospital has no one to take over for him. So it is a big possibility. That would leave me with a severence pay, and eligible for unemployment; and DH said we would be ok with me being a SAHM then.
On with the vent:
I was talking with my sitter yesterday about Levi's rash...and just asking questions in general. I asked how many ounces she was giving him now. When he started going to her it was 7 oz in the morning, 5 throughout the day, and 7 before bed. Last weekend I had upped the two 7's to 8's and started to up the 5's to 6's. She informed me that she's not sure how much he gets in the mornings because when DH drops him off, between 6:15-6:30, she gives Levi a bottle and lays him back down to go back to sleep, and he doesn't finish it. So I asked how much she gave him then through out the day, and she said she only gives him 4 oz because that's all he needs.
And then she informed me that he is to little for table food and since I give him table food and let him feed himself, now he won't let her feed him baby food and ends up making a mess. I sent a sippy cup to her house and told her that I usually give him water in it when he eats. Yesterday I met her in town to get him, she had his sippy in his diaper bag. When I got home, I went to wash it out. It had full strength hawaiin punch in it!
While at the peds office, I was asking questions about his previous ear infections. He said that a big factor in ear infections is laying down flat with a bottle. I hardly lay him down with a bottle at home, and especially not to lay down to fall asleep. If I lay him down, it's on his boppy while he drinks the bottle and watches Mickey or Manny. So it makes sense that if she lays him down with a bottle EVERY time he gets one, then his chances of ear infections is greater. And then once he gets one and is crabby she calls me at work and expects me to leave at the snap of her fingers to get him.
I think I'm done venting. It's starting to make sense now why he's not gaining as much weight, if she's giving him less during the week then I thought she was. And why he's getting frequent ear infections. I am just so looking forward to this clinic closing and being at to SAH with him.
Re: Sitter vent. Warning it will be long.
omg.
I think you need a new sitter. that is really bizarre that she's not even giving him the bottles you tell her to, and the food thing. Totally unacceptable.
and Hawaiian Punch? for a 9 mo old? withuot even asking?? WHY?
Oh. My. Gosh. Your sitter is wrong on so many levels. Is this a friend or something? I hope this isn't a lady who is liscened to watch children.... How hard is it to feed a baby their bottle, or at least have them sitting up so they can feed themselves? And 9 months is too young for table foods? Really?!?! She just sounds like she's lazy and doesn't like the "inconvience" Levi is causing her!
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, and I hope you're able to SAH in March!
I agree 100% with this. I'm not a parent, but I would think that a good sitter would listen to the parent. The bold part really bothers me, too.
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She is not a licensed sitter. She is my sister's friend, and she has 2 other children she watches. One is 3 or 4 and they other is 6 weeks older than Levi. She has 2 grown sons, so I figured she'd be a good choice.
I would be LIVID. Especially for the Hawaiian punch (I am VERY strict with the sugar content P gets in beverages) and the table food comment, let alone the bottles. Sounds like she's lazy.
You're the mom, your rules. That's it.
I hope things work out for you.
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Wow, sorry that your sitter isn't even listening to you about what Levi needs food wise. I would be seriously pissed about it. I hope the clinic closes so that you can SAH.
OMG!! I would look into getting a new sitter. Thats awful.
Also I didnt know you worked in Psych.. I do too. I work inpt tho.
Yesterday at the doctors, the nurse commented on him being dirty. (Which I complain to DH all.the.time) I had to change him into a dry diaper to be weighed. There was poop in the crease of his legs, and under his sac, and still in his butt crack.
He'll come home with a dirty face. Like dried baby food around his mouth. Or above his eye. His hands are black from crawling on her floor. Dried food all over his clothes.
I try to look beyond the crud. My sitter and my sister have been best friends for the past 20+ years and I don't want to cause a problem anywhere...but....
emily, you need to say something. That is AMAZINGLY unacceptable. Leaving poop on a baby? It makes me wonder what the heck she is doing all day while "watching" the kids. I don't have a huge huge issue (from my non-parent standpoint) with food on the clothes and maybe a little on the body even - I imagine it happens - but dirty hands? how dirty is this floor? she has BABIES on it presumably every day! And not cleaning up after a diaper? I hope you get to SAH soon but in the meanwhile you need to work this out, be it with this woman or a new sitter.
Your first post made me say yes you need to fire her as soon as you can. Your second post made me livid! She needs to be fired today.
As I think Becky said - your child your rules. This woman obviously isn't respecting your wishes and therefore not respecting you. Your son needs better care than he is being given during the day and you obviously know that. I know you said she is your sisters friend and don't want to ruffle any feathers but I would hope that your sister is smart enough to realize her nephew isn't properly being cared for and will get over any issue she may have with you firing her friend. Which you need to do.
Good Luck with your lay off. I hope it works out that your able to SAH. But even before that happens you need to take Levi out of that womans care.
Please keep us posted on all of this. I would love to know how things work out.
I would be using some leave asap to find another day care or someone else to take care of Levi for a while. I mean (coming from a non-parent) should a baby be given any kind of drink other than milk/water. I see parents giving 1 & 2 year olds coke and tea to keep them calm and I cringe...
Second, it doesn't sound like she is taking care of Levi at all. I mean food on his clothes, ok, but the diaper issue (hello bacteria = infection) and the carpet. I am ocd about my floors and we don't have children or animals on it and I am amazed at how dirty it gets. If she is keeping children, I don't care what age she should be cleaning up and vacuuming daily. If the doctor/nurse made a comment about him being dirty, that is not a good sign and (not saying they would or could) but couldn't they report that? I know you are a good mom, but at this point you can't worry about your sister or her friend.
As a side note, I know kids need to be exposed to other children and germs to build up their immunities... but it sounds like Levi is being exposed to more than he needs to be.
This. I would've flipped about the poop on him (not to mention be highly embarassed if the Dr. noticed it!) and the Hawaiian punch is completely unacceptable. I'm anal retentive when it comes to how much/what DD eats and while I know there's been a couple things MIL has slipped Mariela a taste of before I started her on them (pastellas, plantains, and bananas), it certainly isn't sweets or juice and she asks first for most things if she's unsure of it. She is also just as concerned about her milk intake as I am and always tells me when she doesn't think DD drinks enough. We told her our "no juice" philosophy until DD is at least two and she was right on board with it. She has 3 kids (ages 3, 1, and 9 1/2 mo) in her care on a typical day and NEVER has she propped one of them up with a bottle or laid them down with a bottle. Even when she's had 5 of them, there was no bottle propping. I think our sister's friend is just lazy.
This is uncalled for. Who cares if your sister and her friends for 20+ yrs? This is your son and she is not taking care of him. Bottom line. Sorry, I sound harsh but this lady is not a proper sitter. I am LIVID for you.
I agree with PP. And I know it is probably easy to say find a new sitter for the time being. But, if you can't find a new sitter....
You need to lay down some ground rules with this chick.
1. Bottle in the AM, while sitting in a boppy. Bring your boppy from home. Tell her the doctor thinks his frequent ear infections are from getting bottles while lying down (don't imply it is her fault, or that you don't lay him down with bottles, just say it is the new rule). Let her know he gets 8 oz and he will drink it all.
2. Bottle during the day, only while sitting up in boppy. 6 oz, tell her the doctor is concerned about his weight gain.
3. Bring spare change of clothes and let her know you would like them changed if he becomes dirty. Same with diapers (duh). Count your diapers in the AM and when you pick him up. You prob have an idea of how many he goes through in a day.
4. Solid foods. If you prefer for him to have solids vs. jarred food, bring it all prepared. So steamed apples or whatever, ready to go, just reheated if need be. Tell her doctor wants him to work on being exposed to new textures for development.
Ok, I think I covered most things. Basically, you're placing the blame on the doctor in terms of the new rules (with some little white lies). You don't want her to think you are accusing her of anything.
My only other suggestions, which may be difficult, is to try making surprise visits..over lunch, come home early whatever. Send you sister, husband, mom if need be. See if you can scope out what's going on.
GL, keep us posted.
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Mary - really excellent ideas.
Emily - I'm sorry you're going through this with someone that doesn't appear to have the best interest of Levi at heart.
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I work 25 minutes away, and I only get a 1/2 lunch break so that is out. DH takes Levi in the morning and brings him home because it is on his way to work. My sister lives an hour away.
I have to pick him up today...so I will start out easy and bring up the bottle issue. I appreciate everyone's input and support in this. It honestly stresses me out everyday.