Frustrated and in need of me time

bryans4

Our oldest DD asked if I'd play barbie with her.  I told her in 20 minutes.  I need some downtime.  DD got upset and started to cry; I really need a few minutes to myself.  DH scolds me for making her cry.  Seriously?  He spent all day yesterday watching sports on tv; I spent the day cleaning house and doing laundry. 

I don't think I'm evil for asking for 20 minutes to myself.  He got up and is now playing barbie with her.  He just pisses me off that he has the balls to scold me when I work 4 days a week outside the home and yet he helps so little around the house.  I basically work 2 FT jobs.  He gets the weekend to "recharge his batteries" when do I get to "recharge mine"?

 Just needed to vent.

bryans4

I guess my biggest comfort is just this past Wednesday my hours got cut at work so I'll be working 3 days a week instead of 4.

ZestofLime

Sounds like it is time for a Come To Jesus talk with the H.

EastCoastBride

bryans4:

I work 4 days a week outside the home and yet he helps so little around the house.  I basically work 2 FT jobs.  He gets the weekend to "recharge his batteries" when do I get to "recharge mine"?

Have you talked to him about this?  At a time when you aren't upset, talk to him. 

Disneygeek77

You are absolutely right.  That is unfair. He can play Barbies with her just as much as you can.  Trust me,  my husband plays tea party, picnic, grocery store and has done his fair share of painting toenails.  You need to tell his about the inequality in this relationship.

FWIW, I too sometimes  feel guilty when I don't always play with  my daughter.  Don't get me wrong, I will spend hours on the floor with her playing with make up, colorining in color books, putting on costume jewelry and pretending to make cookies; however, sometimes I also need down time and she needs to understand that she needs to wait or play by her self for a while.  In fact, it is good for kids to play alone sometimes. 

magsugar13

You need to sit his a&& down and have a talk with him. you need to set a schedule for your time each weekend. End of story.

Turtle143

talk to him and let him know about your frustrations.

alithebride

i see a few issues here. first and foremost-dh scolding? no no no. that's unacceptable. he would've gotten quite a response from me.

2nd i see is that it seems like your DD is in charge. she asks for something, you say no, she cries and daddy gives in. she's getting what you said no to.

also though-your dh clearly enjoys the situation-he gets to recharge and you just keep on doing all that you're oding. why would he pitch in? you do it all. perhaps if you stop it might wake him up a bit.

 

EastCoastBride

alithebride:

2nd i see is that it seems like your DD is in charge. she asks for something, you say no, she cries and daddy gives in. she's getting what you said no to.

This is an excellent point too.  Your DD needs to learn that she can't always get what she wants.  You and your DH need to back each other up or you're going to raise a child who always goes to the other parent when she doesn't get the answer she wants from the first.

srgw

Why did your H watch tv all day if you were cleaning and doing laundry? Does he ever do his share?

Also you and your H need to be a united front. 

I think it's past time you sat down together and figured things out.

charitylynne_1979

I would be sitting his butt down too and having a nice little conversation with him. Trust me, it works.