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In Laws and Daycare
Daycare is right behind ILs house. A few weeks ago MIL mentioned that she wanted to change her work hours so she could go down to the center and give him a bottle in the morning and then would send FIL down in the middle of the day to give him a bottle. I was extremely upset by this and told Seth. I'm not sure if he said something to MIL but she dropped the subject. Until last night. She said, "Is it OK for FIL to go down and play with Abe a couple times a day." I was silent a moment and just looked at her. I told her that I wanted to be sure that Abe had a solid bond with the provider and staff.
I hate to tell FIL that he can't go in...but...I don't want him going in!! I see no need! Let the daycare provider do their job.
Anyone else run into an issue like this one?
Re: In Laws and Daycare
If I wanted FIL to play with him several times a day, then I wouldn't pay for daycare. IL could have him all day.
I wouldn't be thrilled as a provider to have grandparents hanging around that much. I'm not doing anything wrong, but I hate feeling watched.
Mom stopping in to BF, great; Dad eating lunch with us, fantastic. Grandpa visiting from 9-11 and 2-4 daily, not so excited. Grandpa can feel free to come to lunch or stay for 20 minutes and play at pick up time, a few times a year though. We actually had several parents who would hang out at pick up time to play and chat.
Some parents and grandparents cause issues with a child being upset at daycare and some don't. Depends on what kind of child and what kind of adult we are talking about.
If I was you I would nix the visiting idea, but suggest that you can arrange for them to pick Abe up early every Friday and keep him until you come. If you like your ILs that is, I can't keep track of who does and doesn't
My MIL has asked to go to see T at DCP a couple of times. DCP has been fine with it but I feel like if I ask her if it's ok, I'm putting DCP out. She always says it's fine but I feel weird by it.
I agree though, if you wanted IL's to watch him, I would think you had asked. Let them know exactly that...that you pay DCP to do a job and that Abe needs to learn to trust them etc. So, say no until he's bonded with them, let them pick him up once a month or w/e.
I'm so glad my parents live an hour north and my IL's are in FL until April!
I agree with pps. Having heard your stories about MIL, especially, I can only imagine the havoc she would wreak on your DCP.
Can you offer to let MIL pick Abe up one day a week and watch him until you get things like the groceries done or whatever needs doing? You know, give yourself an hour of Just Mommy time? That might make them happy.
I dread going through this sort of thing with my parents and my ILs (well, not my dad or SFIL, but both moms)... Hang in there and stick to your guns!
I told DH your story and he said and I quote "no thats not how daycare works" lol... I also agree with PPers, if ILs want to hang with Abe, let them pick him up and have him for an hour or so and add that into his routine, but he needs to create a routine with his DCP that doesn't include getting bottles from ILs or extra playtime... I can just see this type of situation turning sour when all of a sudden he is going through a growth spurt so DCP has to give him an extra bottle earlier and ILs get upset or he is not feeling well and takes an early nap so he is sleeping when ILs arrive and they get upset...
while I am sure DCP would say it is fine, it really is a cramp in their style.. I don't know what your ILs do for work but tell them to imagine someone coming into their office and doing their work while they are also trying to work there...