November 2010 Weddings
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S/O Thank you cards

There were several people who came to the wedding and did not leave a card, gift, or even sign the guest book.  Do I send them a TY card?

I sent TY cards to everyone who at least had a card in the box, whether there was something in it or not.  Just didn't know what to do about the people who didn't leave a card or sign the GB -- but I distinctly remember talking to them.

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Re: S/O Thank you cards

  • I would still send them a thank you card, even just for coming out and spending their day with you. It's the right thing to do, IMO.
    ExerciseMilestone
  • I didn't send a thank you to people who didn't give us something. Not sure if you're supposed to or not...but I didn't
    November 12, 2010 imageMy Bio Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • imageraangoli:
    I would still send them a thank you card, even just for coming out and spending their day with you. It's the right thing to do, IMO.

    Yeah, this is what I thought.  But my mom kept saying, "If they didn't even bother to get you a card or sign the GB, then don't bother thanking them for eating the food and drinking the liquor."

     My mom can be kind of snippy.

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  • imagefallbride'10:
    I didn't send a thank you to people who didn't give us something. Not sure if you're supposed to or not...but I didn't
    This. We didn't have a guest book in the traditional sense.. we had a signature mat to frame a wedding photo.

     We did/are doing thank you's for everyone who at least left a card in the box but if they didn't leave a card, they don't get a thank you. We verbally thanked eveyone for coming at the reception.

  • We also only wrote TYs to folks who gave a card or something, not just for coming.  Maybe it's a more regional thing, but I'm fairly certain that's the common thing to do at least with my circle of people...  and along the same lines, some people did shower gifts but not wedding gifts, and I don't think they expect a TY for coming to the wedding.  I did make every effort to speak to everyone at the reception, but I already know that I missed a few people who didn't stay long.
  • We sent thank you notes to everyone that had a card in the box (empty or not) or a gift on the table - If they did not leave a gift/card they did not get a thank you - not because we were trying to be rude, but because their favor, and their meal, and the open bar were our thank you for them attending. 

  • I did. We had a few that we didn't get a card or anything from - even in the bridal party!!!!
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  • imagerobynann07:

    imagefallbride'10:
    I didn't send a thank you to people who didn't give us something. Not sure if you're supposed to or not...but I didn't
    This. We didn't have a guest book in the traditional sense.. we had a signature mat to frame a wedding photo.

     We did/are doing thank you's for everyone who at least left a card in the box but if they didn't leave a card, they don't get a thank you. We verbally thanked eveyone for coming at the reception.

    I've never received a TY note for just showing up to anything. :) Well, except one time when I was ADD and forgot a gift, and then receiving a TY just made me feel like an even bigger jerk. I just kept thinking, "Um TY for what? You did more for me than anything I did for you!!" It was awkward.

    That said, I really don't think it's etiquette. The reception is like a TY... you are throwing a big party for your friends and family, treating them to something special. Also, we all made a point to greet and thank each guest in person at our receptions, right? I am sending TY's to people who gave gifts because 1) it's the right thing to do and 2) like most of us, I had to open the gifts after the wedding was over and I could not properly thank them in person and 3) I also want them to rest assured that the gift was properly delivered to me and not lost in the mail.

  • imagezaramarie81:

    I've never received a TY note for just showing up to anything. :) Well, except one time when I was ADD and forgot a gift, and then receiving a TY just made me feel like an even bigger jerk. I just kept thinking, "Um TY for what? You did more for me than anything I did for you!!" It was awkward.


     

    This. I think sending a TY card to someone who attended but didn't give a card and/or gift could come off as if you are making them aware they didn't get a gift. (even though you had the best of intentions and were just trying to be polite)  I also didn't really look to see who didn't get us a card or gift and I'm too lazy now to go through all the cards/gifts and check them against the seating chart Wink

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