December 2007 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Possible job situation...
My friend recommended me for a job with her association. The person in the job currently has cut down to 2 days a week and they're looking to fill the other 3 days. It pays almost the same as what I make now with vacation and sick, in 3 days a week! How perfect would that be?! I'm waiting on the job description to make sure I'm qualified and it's something I'm serious about,then I plan to talk to my boss before I apply. I know I don't owe her anything but I do feel guilty about leaving when I've been gone for the last 3.5 months and making her think I was coming back. I also don't want her giving me a bad reference if she doesn't know it's coming. I could help out 2 days a week until she finds someone else - I'm okay with that. Honestly, I worry more about the organization falling apart than I do about her. I know I don't owe her anything but I do think I should be upfront and honest about why I want to leave. This actually wouldn't be about her, it would be about me being able to stay home with Lucie 2 days a week! How can you pass something up that pays the same for less work?!
Re: Possible job situation...
Caroline - DO NOT SAY A WORD TO YOUR BOSS!!!!! I can tell you right now, if you tell her, I do not see this ending well. I would hate for you to tell her, her fire you for some reason that she makes up and then you not get the other job and have nothing. I do not trust your boss and I wouldn't put it past her to do something illegial or backhanded because she is mad at you for leaving.
Wait until you see the job description and if you get an interview, then see how the interview goes. When you go on the interview you can explain to them that you are on a maternity leave, that you were not looking for a job but a friend told you about it and you couldnt pass it up. You can also politely explain to them how bat sh!t crazy your boss is and that she might not give you the best reference given the fact that you will not be coming back from a leave.
People do not come back from leave of absences all the time. Unfortunately, that is the nature of the beast. If people are honest, then they get screwed.
And then if you get the job, you can tell your boss that you werent looking but were given this opportunity and have been offered something that is a better fit for you and your family and that you hope she understands.
You should not feel guilty for doing what is best for you and your family. Trust me, honest is not always the best policy. I am stuck in a sitation at work now that completely sucks because I was honest. Your boss would not have the same courtsey for you.
and one last thing, can't the board member you talked to be a reference for you? I'm sure if you explained the situation and since she knows how your boss is, she might be willing?
Baby #2 - D&E - 10/1/10 @ 19w2d - thanatophoric dysplasia confirmed.
Charlotte Lillian will be forever in our hearts.
Baby #3 - Little Bean - natural miscarriage - 1/17/11 @ 5w5d
and, when do you go back to work? It looks like Lucie will be 3 months in a couple weeks.
If you are going back in a couple weeks, I doubt that you will be intereviewed and they will offer you the position before you go back to work. So I would just go back to work while interiviewing and see what happens. If you get the job, you can go to your boss and say that you were offered something else, blah blah blah. And then you can work out your two week notice and not feel guilty for not going back.
Baby #2 - D&E - 10/1/10 @ 19w2d - thanatophoric dysplasia confirmed.
Charlotte Lillian will be forever in our hearts.
Baby #3 - Little Bean - natural miscarriage - 1/17/11 @ 5w5d
I agree with Mel 100% on this. I think it sounds like an awesome opportunity for you, and I'm excited for you!!! But for all the reasons Mel gave, I wouldn't tell your boss about it until after you've gotten the job. If she doesn't fire you, I could see her trying to talk you into staying and promising you all sorts of things that she'll never follow through on.
Keep us posted about this new opportunity!!! I really, really, really hope that it works out!
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
I agree with Mel too!! DO NOT TELL YOUR BOSS UNTIL YOU HAVE A NEW JOB! You don't owe her anything and for the way she has treated you in the past it's not worth the aggravation that she will most likely inflict on you if you tell her you are looking. She could go all bi-polar on you one day and fire you cause she wants to and tell everyone you quit.
Apply for the new job and good luck getting away from your crazy boss!!
I agree with Mel! Do not tell your boss!
Also I have a question with the job being only part time will you get insurance or are you covered through Arek's?
This.
The woman is BSC and I wouldn't put anything past her.
Honestly... I couldn't have it on my conscience to just up and leave. I know, I know, I'm crazy, but I would not feel right. I'm going to email the board member I was in contact with and see what she suggests. Honestly, this woman will NOT fire me. She's been counting down the days till me coming back. She needs me and I know it and we're thinking that she will do anything in her power to keep me, so it might be in my best interests to tell her to see what she offers me. Plus, if I tell the board member first, she won't be allowed to fire me - she told me that same thing before I had that talk with her.
I get insurance through Arek but my organization pays him monthly - I'm not sure how this other place will work but it's not a big deal if we don't get that money as long as I'm covered.
I still haven't been given the job description though and I'm starting to wonder if my friend may have got my hopes up for nothing...
I don't think any of us think that you should just up and leave. We just think that you should treat it like any other job by giving her a regualr 2 weeks notice once you've gotten the other job. If it were me, no counter offer would be great enough to stay there with her 5 days a week when there was a chance to work PT for the same amount of money and not have to deal with her craziness.
Call your friend up and check in. It can't hurt!
Ditto this! ?Legally when they call your past jobs they cannot give you a bad reference. ?All they are allowed to say is that you indeed work(ed) there- so dont worry about any of that. ?As much as this woman has mistreated you, she does not deserve a heads up!!!!!
Good luck, and I really hope you get it!!! ?It would be so awesome for you (and Lucie)!?
I agree with this. How long have you worked there now? 2 years? I know that you really care about the organization, and that's very admirable...but she does her best on a daily basis to make your life a living hell. You owe it to yourself to get out of there if you have a chance...even if it means turning down an offer from her to earn a bit more money or to work from home one or two days a week. You deserve to be happy!!
Our Blog!
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Ditto Carrie. Caroline, I know you will do what is best for you and your family, but please think about it. Put the guilt aside and THINK about the awful things she does to you on a regular basis and if it is really worth staying there. You are miserable when you are there. Please please just think about what we have all said.
Baby #2 - D&E - 10/1/10 @ 19w2d - thanatophoric dysplasia confirmed.
Charlotte Lillian will be forever in our hearts.
Baby #3 - Little Bean - natural miscarriage - 1/17/11 @ 5w5d