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Is this tacky? (You can tell me if it is and WWYD)
Hi! I'm dreaming of SPRING and looking ahead to the summer/fall. My daughters' 3rd and 4th birthdays (and my 40th) fall within two weeks of each other.
1st Question: Is it OK to combine my daughter's birthdays? I'd like to have one big party for both of them and invite all of our family, friends, play group/pre-school friends etc. I do face painting and balloons and always make a lot of food, drinks etc. We are on a budget but I might even hire a nice local magician I met as well.
2nd Question: I would never dream of combining my birthday party with theirs - can I have a Halloween party later and not even tell people it is secretly for my birthday? Does this seem weird? I have always wanted to throw a big Halloween Party - but then would I have to do it every year?
or should I scrap that alltogether since everyone will have just been to our home AND
3rd Question: Is it OK to encourage "dress-up" or "costumes welcome" at their party (for adults and kids) in mid Oct. I'm hoping my girls will dress-up and adults could dress-up like they might for the Renaissance Faire etc. 
I know that the world is freezing and that there are more pressing things in this universe - but these are my admittedly trivial questions for you all.
TIA
Re: Is this tacky? (You can tell me if it is and WWYD)
1st: I think a combo party (for the 2 kids) is great.
2nd: I don't understand a secret b-day party. Can't you just have a Halloween party? You don't need a b-day to have a party. And you can have a b-day and not have a party. And unless you call it your annual Halloween party, you don't need to have it annually.
3rd: Eh, I'd skip the costumes. (If it's not a Halloween party.)
Hi! Thanks for your reply.
Re: I don't understand a secret b-day party
My understanding is that some adults invite people over for a nice get-together and not tell them it is for their b-day - but it really is.
Also - I'm not sure if it is too close to invite all of the same people over for a Halloween party which I'm leaning toward not doing anyways. (I kind of like costumes though and probably shouldn't do them for my kids party
I think it's completely fine to combine their birthday parties. My sister and I always had combined birthday parties and it was never a problem.
We did have separate smaller friend parties, but your girls are young enough where that shouldn't be an issue yet.
As for your birthday, just throw a halloween party. I would only request that guests dress up for one of the parties, preferably the halloween party. You are under no obligation to throw a big halloween party each year, unless you want to.
I definitely think it's fine to throw two parties. Just space them out if you can. (like 3-4 weeks apart instead of 2).
Definitely combine the parties since the girls are so young. My sister and I are 1 week apart and my mom combined our parties for awhile. I started resenting it around age 10 but that is probably because my brother got his own party and I had to share. Not long after that we stopped having the whole family over for our birthdays anyway.
Just throw a Halloween party. If it makes you feel good to know in your heart that you're celebrating your birthday, that's fine.
I'm neither here nor there on the costumes. If it's for the girls' party and not for Halloween, I think it's cool to suggest "dress-up" for the attending children. No different than a princess party or a fancy tea party. Adult aren't going to want to dress up though, unless you know they are into it.
I'd do what pp suggested and space the parties 3-4 weeks.
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Combine the girls' party as long as you can. My nieces have joint family parties every year. Another niece and nephew have bdays in Nov and Dec. They had a joint family party in Jan.
Throw a halloween party and don't even mention it's your bday. I'd assume people that know you will know your bday is around that time anyway so no need to mention it.
Dress up is fine for kids. Don't make parents if they don't want to.
Yep, I'm with 6 on this.
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1. I think that's totally ok. They're both young enough that it wouldn't feel odd for either of them and it'll definitely be easier for you in the long run.
2. I agree with PPs. Why keep it secret? Can't you just send out an invite and have it say "Birthday Halloween party! Costumes required!"
3. I think within the entire month of October and the weekend afterwards you can do dress up. No one cares, they just want to get more than 1 wear out of their costume.
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I vote to combine the girls
Secondly, I vote combine Halloween and 40, call it "Freaky 40" or "Frightening 40" or something along those lines and have that one be your dress up/costume party.