November 2010 Weddings
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Another TY Question

But unfortunately not wedding gift TYs, but for all the condolence cards and help my family has received.

It's my understanding that condolences receive a TY, and certainly all the neighbors who have brought food over to my dad should be acknowledged.  I also believe that the time frame in this case is not strict, so this doesn't have to be done right now.

What I'm wondering is:  almost all of this has been addressed to my dad (naturally), and the volume is staggering (for which I'm very grateful).  I am pretty sure my dad will never respond and thus this is one more task I'll have to take over.  If you were the sender of food/cards/flowers/etc., would you expect the TY to come from my dad (I would write it, but it would be from him), or would it be fine if it comes from me even though I don't live there?  Or am I over-thinking this out of exhaustion?

Re: Another TY Question

  • If it were me, I honestly, in your situation, would not care if you ever gave me a TY card - that being said if you feel the need to write one I don't think anyone would mind (or even notice) if the address it came from was you.

     

    How are you doing??? Again, I am so very very sorry for your loss, I cannot even imagine...I'm glad that you have a good support system, I know that must be of at least some comfort.

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  • I'm so so sorry you're going through this.  Last December we lost my grandmother.  My mom, her two sisters, their sister in law, me, and my sister (and maybe one or two others) sat around the dining table and wrote the TYs.  We signed them The Grandma's Lastname Family, even though only of of the ladies at the table still has that last name... If one of us was closer to the sender (for example, a close friend of mine sent a plant), that person would write that card (so I wrote hers, and included my name along with the generic Our Family signature), but otherwise we all just pitched in to get through them.  Please know that you're in my prayers.
  • Perhaps you could write TY cards from yourself but also on behalf of your father and any other sibs you have?

    "On behalf of my father and (sibs), we thank you for your thoughts and generosity..." etc.etc.

  • imagetemurlang:

    But unfortunately not wedding gift TYs, but for all the condolence cards and help my family has received.

    It's my understanding that condolences receive a TY, and certainly all the neighbors who have brought food over to my dad should be acknowledged.  I also believe that the time frame in this case is not strict, so this doesn't have to be done right now.

    What I'm wondering is:  almost all of this has been addressed to my dad (naturally), and the volume is staggering (for which I'm very grateful).  I am pretty sure my dad will never respond and thus this is one more task I'll have to take over.  If you were the sender of food/cards/flowers/etc., would you expect the TY to come from my dad (I would write it, but it would be from him), or would it be fine if it comes from me even though I don't live there?  Or am I over-thinking this out of exhaustion?

     

    Temurlang... I wouldn't need or expect a TY. I think most really understand how difficult this time is and just want to help and understand that this is difficult... it's different than a wedding where people expect you to have all sorts of energy and resources. And if they did receive a TY from you, they would totally understand that your father may not be in a position to respond right now and that you are helping with a lot.

  • I wouldn't expect a TY either honestly. My family and I have received one before though from when my best friends father passed away, signed "The LastName Family"

    ((HUGS)) T&P are with you!

    336a Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • When my stepmother died last summer, my sister, brother, then-fiance, and brother's girlfriend sat around the kitchen table and tag teamed the thank you cards before my father decided to take over to keep himself busy (he has energy issues).

    We signed them "The M----- Family," even the ones Pop did. I think that would be your best bet. And keep in mind two of the people writing TYs (Dave and bro's GF) had never met these people before.

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    Big, big like the moon...
  • "The LastName Family" does seem like the right solution... and really obvious, but my brain has gone on strike lately, so thanks for the input.

    We have finally made formal plans for the memorial.  Unfortunately, it's on Super Bowl Sunday (I know some people won't show up), but I just didn't want it pushed out any further.  I think it will really help us get some closure, although I'm sure the grieving will continue for some time.

    Thanks again for all the thoughts and kindness.  It really is such a difficult time.

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