depressed DH

ajdubya126

My husband just graduated with his master's in December and still no luck on the job. He is still working the job he had through grad school, but he's way over qualified. He just seems really depressed. I know he's worried about supporting us once baby J.T. arrives, but it's not like I'm going to stop working and we're doing okay financially. He keeps saying that he doesn't deserve me. I keep reminding him that we're in this through thickness and then and all that jazz.

Anyways, I hate to see him bummed. He worked so hard for his master's and school does not come easy. I wish I could cheer him up. He really tried to fake happiness on my birthday, but I could see the worry on his face. Not sure if I'm looking for advice or just a place to vent.

iheartcutepuppies

((((Hugs)))) Ashlea.

Maybe you could find small little ways to compliment him on things he's doing to help boost his self esteem?

When H got laid off in Nov 08 (when we closed on our house, awesome)....he had that same look/feel. Just try to be there for him, motivate him, and try to be in tune as to how he is feeling...Meaning, if he needs to get out to unwind, let him do it. Or if he doesn't want to talk, don't force him.

I am pretty sure MH will go through similar worries soon. I am for certain the breadwinner and that has never been the case with his parents/my parents...he is used to the men being the bread winners. So it's kind of a different worry, but similar I think in some ways. I just try to support him, his new ideas for side projects, etc. Maybe YH can start something on the side to help him unwind or use his skills (although not sure what his Masters is in)?

OSUWifey09

I know it must be hard - H was laid off for four months right after we got pregnant with JJ, and I could tell he was really worried, too. I think just staying positive and letting him know how much you love and appreciate it [which i'm sure you already do] will help until he finds something.

I'll keep my fingers crossed that he finds something quickly! *hugs*

LarissaAnn

Ugh, sorry. As someone who's been there, I know it sucks, but things do right themselves in time. Fingers crossed that it's fast.

Five_letter

Just be supportive, it's only been a month. His Masters is HUGE accomplishment and it's sure to pay off. He needs to give it some time.

ajdubya126

Thanks, ladies. I just want him to know I'm by his side....forever. On another note, he got a call back for a 2nd interview. It's not the job he wants, but it would pay the bills and a little more, and it's in his field (social work). Glad to know you all had similar experiences and survived.

aligator423uf

DH went through that when he was laid off last July. He applied for everything under the sun and only got one phone interview. I finally said something to my boss because I knew we'd be hiring since we just expanded. Well, he did get a job offer - as the janitor. Not exactly what we were expecting, but it pays just as much as the entry level jobs there plus all the benefits. And it's good for DH to be back in the workforce. I just stay positive for him because everything is temporary.

justrachet

Rodgers was depressed, too, when I got pregnant with Nate. He was still a full-time student and didn't have his green card yet, so I was the only one making money. I know he felt inadequate as a husband, even though I didn't see him that way. His love language is words of affirmation, so I just tried to speak encouragement to him as often as possible. He ended up graduating and getting a part time job the month before Nate was born. Eventually he got a promotion and went up to 30 hours/week. Then, the same month that my unemployment started, he got a better job. We still can't live off his income alone, so now I'm feeling the pressure since my unemployment benefits run out in 2 months. But, judging from our past, things work out, and they are just getting better and better, so I'm trying to stay optimistic.