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Lost...
Hi Ladies!
Its been a while...acutally a little over 5 months! Its the first time I've been on this board in a long time.
I just wanted to see if anyone else is feeling the same or if anyone has any suggestions.
I dont know if I feel this way because everyone I know is pegnant and my sister in law is too (in fact shes due any day now). Or that I'm getting very very very close to the "big 3-0". Or just horomones. Or the number of deaths in my family over the last 3 months (which makes you think about your whole life and future). But I keep going back and forth on wether or not to have kids. Half my family says no and half says yes. My friends are the same way. I dont want to get to an age and think what if but I also dont want to rush into anything.
It seems like the biggest event of my life (my wedding) seems so small compared to the decision to have kids or not. I don't like to let things get me down but this one is a doozie!
Anyone else feeling the same?
Thanks for listening/reading my speel! :0 )
Re: Lost...
You really shouldn't let friends/family weigh in. This should be a decision made between you and your husband.
For me, I'd like to wait until DH has a job, we buy a house & are stable financially. Ideally, I'd like to start trying before I am 30 since there is no guarantee I will get pregnant right away.
There are so many factors that go into starting a family & you shouldn't do so because you feel pressured. If you are uncertain or looking for advice from family & friends its probably not the right time.
I can tell you, I feel the exact same way. I'm turning 32 this year and SO many people are pregnant or have kids already. I still don't feel like i am ready, but I worry about waiting too long. And even my mother keeps mentioning that I'm getting older... thanks mom, like I need more pressure!
Like others said, this is a totally personal decision, so I wouldn't think too much about what others say. I'd just discuss it with your husband.
For us, we know we want kids (well, I think I do anyway!), so it is more a matter of when. It is so hard for me because I have 8 nieces and nephews, so I know how much work it will be and how hard life will be. It is really hard to go from our relatively easy life to the craziness of having children. But then I think about how amazing kids are and how much more fulfilling life will be as we see them grow up and I know I want that someday. I just wish I didn't feel like my eggs are expiring!!!
PS. don't think too much about turning the big 30. It really isn't that big a deal and I don't know why people dread it so much. It is just another year. And I always think back to how difficult my early 20s were, trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. My life is SO much better now, married, happy and settled that I wouldn't trade anything to be younger again! I think getting older should be celebrated! As my boss told me, "no wise man ever wished to be younger". I agree.