BIL....

MrsSweetpeaMagee

So as I was telling some of you at the GTG yesterday and have told others in passing, BIL got engaged just before Christmas..to a girl he has been dating since October/Novemberish.... and when they got engaged they had said they were going to be engaged for a while and would be taking it slow... they picked a wedding date: 

 

December 3rd...... 2011

That is not slow!! I was thinking next year at least, or even the year after! 

 

Don't take this the wrong way, I am happy for him and I really like her and I really hope she is the one for him... but he doesn't have the best track record and I just don't want to see this end poorly for anyone involved (and especially her 4 year old daughter)

grahamsm3

Wow, that's a change of plan.

I know there are people out there who can meet and get married within a year and it works out, but it seems like there would be more people who would fail using this approach.

I know that I didn't take this approach (knew DH since 6th grade, dated since 11th grade, engaged for 2.5 years), but I haven't made it any farther in marriage than some who did take the fast way!

I would have a little easier time with the idea if there were no children involved. 

Best of luck to the family. 

mrscjwatts

sounds like my brother!  He met his (now ex) wife around thanksgiving 2003...got engaged a few weeks before christmas and got married in feb 2004....then they divorced in spring 2007....

good luck to your BIL..sometimes boys are not very smart

jl&jl

This is me...

Met DH Oct 2nd 2004 on a blind date.  He proposed Nov 2nd 2004.  We wanted to get married Summer of 2005.  Everyone freaked out so we agreed Summer 2006.  We got tired of waiting and eloped and got married March 10th 2006 in Antigua.  Married 5 years next month.  Can't imagine being with anyone else.

meganmarieCA

I hope your BIL's story turns out like Jackie's, especially for the sake of the 4-year-old.  But I've got to say, I'm wary of any woman who rushes into marriage when she has a kid.  I would be extra-cautious when my kid's future and my kid's emotions were on the line.

MaineIslandBride

Everyone is different. I know lots of people who "rushed" into marriage and are perfectly happy many years later. Hope it works out for your brother.

jgreg29

I've known people who have got married young and quickly and are still happy (most notably, my parents) and those who've waited years and aren't happy.  I've also seen the reverse.  I think time and age are less important than commitment.  I hope for the sake of BIL, his fiance and her daughter that they have the commitment they need to have a happy marriage!

simplejude

jgreg29:

I've known people who have got married young and quickly and are still happy (most notably, my parents) and those who've waited years and aren't happy.  I've also seen the reverse.  I think time and age are less important than commitment.  I hope for the sake of BIL, his fiance and her daughter that they have the commitment they need to have a happy marriage!

This. People move at different paces. I hope they are committed to each other and understand what they are getting into, that is all that really matters.

MainelyFoolish

My parents met on a blind date at the end of August, were engaged at Christmas, and married the following September, just over a year from when they first met.  This year will be their 40th anniversary. 

DH and I took it slower...it was 17 months from when we met on a blind date until our wedding.  I would have been happy to get married faster but DH was scared after previous whirlwind relationship went down in flames.  This year is our 5th anniversary.

Sometimes you just know it's right.  Hopefully your BIL will fall into this category. 

danieleandwayne

I think it's great that you are basically supporting your brother in his decision, but still keeping an eye out for him! That's a good sister right there!

And we're here for you, in case you get really worried and don't know what to do about it-- or just need to vent. 

When it comes to love, even when we try to "warn" our loved ones that they may not be making the best decision, very often love is too blind to listen! And, in some cases, it proves us wrong! So I'm going to send positive juju your brother's way-- can't hurt, right?-- and keep repeating that you are a good, supportive sister!

chayer227

I'll add more positive stories to the mix, although in general, I'm a bit of a skeptic.

My sister met my BIL on a blind date, at the end of the dinner, he asked her "what would you say if I asked you to marry me, right now?"  She said she'd probably answer yes.  He officially proposed 4 months later, and another 4 months later they were married.  They've been married close to 40 years.  

I also work with a woman who is insanely happily married to a man she married about 30 years ago after a 5 month courtship/engagement.  They're like newlyweds.