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Flame me if you will ...
An acquaintance just posted on FB that she's six weeks pg. I don't have a problem with that - if she wants to tell the world this early, that's definitely her business. But a comment made by a close friend of hers to the announcement was "Can I start planning the baby shower now?"
First off, she has a 1 yr old baby already, so I don't feel a shower is necessary or really appropriate, particularly since in the last two years she's gotten married and had a kid already (and had multiple big showers for both). Secondly, I find it to be INCREDIBLY poor taste to already start thinking about gifts. And finally ... she said OF COURSE. wtf? Seriously?? I am put off by the whole thing, actually. Talk about a complete lack of class ...
This would be the same girl I've written about previously that was less than kind about wanting the wedding pics I took ON MY OWN and not at her request much sooner than I wanted to give them to her.
I really should delete all those people from FB ...
Re: Flame me if you will ...
It sounds to like her and her friend are excited. I don't follow the 3 month rule and think it's a personal choice. If you want to wait to tell people that's your prerogative. About the shower- She didn't say "I'm 6 weeks preggo, who?s throwing me a shower?!" Her friend offered, she accepted, I see nothing wrong with that even if she does have a one year old. I think every baby should be celebrated and her friends/family want to throw her a shower so be it. I would probably prefer a "sprinkle" or "meet the baby party" but people would bring gifts either way. Maybe you just don't like this girl so it's bothering you more than it would if it were someone else.
Nope. It would pretty much bother me regardless of who it was doing it. I wouldn't really think any thing of it if the baby shower came up after she found out that the sex of the baby was opposite of the baby she has, or if it had been a few years between babies.
My dealings with her and her friends/family is that everything is an occasion to get gifts. Not GIVE gifts to others, but to RECEIVE gifts. They gave us nothing for our wedding, but we were invited to an engagement party, two bridal showers, a pre-wedding tea, the wedding, a dinner reception "for our closest friends", three baby showers and a "meet the baby" tea after the baby was born ... each one of the invitations made sure to announce - in rather large letters - where she was registered and that in lieu of gifts from the registry, gift cards to XXX store "would be great!"
Yeah. There's nothing about any of that I would condone from my closest friend, let alone an acquaintance.
I didn't realize there were so many possible give me present events one person could have. That is a bit obnoxious... to say the least!
You can judge me when the time comes because I will probably have a meet the baby party for #2. Again, as a celebratory event in honor of the new baby and it will most likely only be family and if we have any friends in MN by then, they will be invited too.
sing it girl.
Quilty, I think it's time to delete this girl from your facebook, and probably your life.
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I don't know if ya'll remember, but this was the girl who got married right after us and when I walked in with my camera, they had me taking all sorts of shots for them and then started bugging me two days after the wedding for "two discs".
And I wasn't wrong ... I just got a PM from someone who knows us both that said, basically, that the "mother to be" (she IS a mother, already) was "sooooo disappointed" when she didn't get a quilt from me for the first baby. The sender wanted to be sure I had plenty of time and had seen the announcement that she's pg so I can get a blanket made for this baby.
I am actually speechless. I don't even know how to respond to that.
BUT ... it's not the same people you had at your wedding. And your shower(s). And your reception. And ... see what I mean? Outside of family, who's going to do what they want with gifts anyway ... you aren't imposing on the same group of friends again.
My kids are 14 months apart, and I did not have a party or a shower or anything for the second one - it just isn't done in my family. But people DID drop by and bring small gifts, and I accepted graciously. I didn't expect them - and the whole purpose of a baby shower is to shower the expectant parents with gifts. So ... she DOES expect gifts. IMO, there's a difference.
I'm still appalled at the idea that this is being discussed ... in vivid detail ... down to what decorations to have, based on sex of the baby, in a public venue where everyone can see.
No way! Unbelievable.
I don't know... I give gifts at the shower, then gifts when the baby is born, then gifts for the baby/kids almost every time I go to a person's house as a guest where there's a kid. Mom taught me to do that.
And if my sis had a second baby, I'd definitely throw a second shower. And she didn't find out gender the first time and likely wouldn't a second time, so that wouldn't enter into it.
I'm in the someone offered/it's ok that she accepted camp, and I really do think your opinion of her is colored by the fact that there were so many gift-giving events at once (I know how annoying that is, my friend was going to do that before she broke off her engagement and I vented about it here) and because of the photo issue and the quilt issue. And both of those are annoying, definitely.
But I don't think this is the same thing as that.
Then again, when my friend was pregnant with her third kid (the first 2 were twins), and no one was throwing her a shower, I took it upon myself to throw her a shower, just because I wanted her to have one and didn't think she should miss out just because it wasn't a first baby. I never heard the idea that anyone should only get one baby shower before the knot/nest, and I think it sucks.
Besides, if they have two really close in age, don't they need seconds of lots of things? Car seats, high chairs, strollers, cribs, etc?
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That's what I would think. You could probably get away with using the same car seat because of the weight/height restrictions, but most stuff you'd need 2. Or what if it's not the same sex? Then you'd need clothes and whatnot.
The Sand in My Snow Boots