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need advise re my mom
mother issue need advise
I havent spoken to my mom in two weeks.. we normally speak everyday... she is annoyed because while i was home sick with the stomach virus i wouldnt send my husband to her house to help my step father with removing and installing their new tv.... this was a sunday - i called her on tuesday she didnt answer,,, i have spoken to grandmother so i know she my mom is mad at me...
well today i called my sister 9:45pm and she told me that my mom slipped today and broke her wrist ... my younger sister who lives at home didnt even call to tell me ..... my dd and i are actually sick again with pink eye in both eyes and we both have ear infections my sister and aunt know so I am not 100% my mom knows but we havent heard from her
so do i call her or wait it out ....
Re: need advise re my mom
Assuming you don't have a totally dysfunctional relationship with your mom, and you want her to be an involved part of your lives, I think you call her and make sure she is ok.
If you and your mom have a distant relationship to begin with I think you call her and tell her that you're family and even in times of disagreement you all still care about each other and love each other, and she should call you when things like this happen.
I'm sorry you're fighting.
You're being punished for placing your needs over that of your mother's.
You know she's got a broken wrist; so send a nice get well card. "Heard you hurt your wrist; hope you get better soon; let us know if you need anything. Love, Sally and Bill". But no, you don't pester her to look at you and pay attention to you and call you etc; this is how you get the pattern to continue, and that's not what you want.
i always am the one to call her when we fight and it is apparent to me that unless i do what she says when she wants she just shuts me out. I really dont want to call her. Like to see how long it takes her to call me since we didnthave a fight i just said i was too sick and didnt want him to leave - she lives 20 min away not like she is around the block.
i like the card idea - thanks i didnt even think of it. i think that is what i will do. you are right this is a pattern - i am 35 years old and its always the same way when i deal with her and i had it- how about calling me and asking if she could help me - i do have a 2.5 year old- she never even called to see if i was better or if my dd got it again..... she is very self centered woman .....and i think i am done kissing her @ss!!
I think sue_sue gave you terrific advice and you are 100% right.
My dad likes to say "You teach people how to treat you." She's taught you that you need to snap-to when she issues an order or you will be given the cold shoulder. You've taught her that works, you will always reach out to her. If you want something different from your mother, then you have to do the hard work to teach her something new,
I hate the silent treatment. It makes me feel awful. And it so disproportionate to whatever little thing set it off. Look at your post - what the hell is your mother's problem? You said "no" to her? About a TV install when you were sick? Are you freakin' kidding me?
Unless and until you believe that you deserve better, you won't get it.
I'd suggest "The Dance of Anger" about breaking out of patterns like you and your mom have.
Sue_sue is 100% right.
I'm with Sue Sue on this one....
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.