Maine Nesties
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How often to you see your parents and in-laws?
DH and I are trying to be better about our budget this year. My family lives 7 hours a way and we normally go out about 4-5 times a year to see them for 4-5 days at a time. Not only is it a long drive for the amount of time that we visit, but it's a lot of gas money.
We're thinking of cutting down our trips to twice a year for a full week each time instead. So we'll be visiting less, but staying longer. My parents usually try to come up and see us a few times a year in addition to us travelling out there. Visiting DH's parents isn't a problem since they live in Maine. We see them a lot more than my parents so I feel bad only visiting mine twice a year.
Just curious...how often do you see your parents and in-laws?
Re: How often to you see your parents and in-laws?
Also want to add that the trip takes 7 hours at a minimum. It has taken me 9 hours in the past depending on traffic on the MA tpke, # of stops, etc.
Since we're only 8 hours from my family they sometimes come here to visit. My dad has been here twice in a year, my sister once and I've been to where they live twice. We're going to see them again in March with the baby, but after that probably not again until the fall. Like you say, its a long @ss drive. When we go for a visit we stay in a hotel which adds to the expense. Ideally, I'm happy seeing them 3-4 times a year.
Edit: We haven't traveled together to see my mother-in-law since we moved here because it requires a cross-country flight and staying a hotel when we get there.
In some ways we are lucky that ILs and my father live less than 10 minutes away. Abe see ILs once a week and I spend the day at my father's once a week so Abe knows Grampy and Grammy.
My sister lives in RI and she comes up every other month or so. In the summer she comes for one week.
My folks live 10 min. away, one town over - so I see them about once a week if only to drop by and say hey.
My sis and BIL who live in Philly see each family about 3 times per year. It's about an 8-hour drive to my folks' and my BIL's folks from Philly. They will stay around a week, but this is also based largely around my sister's grad school schedule right now!
Both of my parents live in Florida. I never see my dad because he is a jerk. He has met Ridley once this past summer because he was here for other reasons. My mom was here at Christmas and will be here again in May for my niece's HS graduation. We visited her in October 2009 and I was there again with Ridley when Aunt Margaret died. She lives in a very depressing part of Florida so I really have no desire to visit her there. Plus it would be expensive for all three of us to fly out there now that Ridley is no longer a lap infant by airline standards.
DH's family lives in town but we try not to see them very often either. Usually around the holidays or if we are feeling like his mom hasn't seen Ridley in a little while.
My sister also lives in town and we tend to see her family about once a week.
Our parents all live within about 20 mins of eachother up in Maine, so we get to see them all whenever we go up, which is convenient. I usually get up once a month or every other month for a weekend, and if DH is in port, he'll come as well. We'll be up for the majority of the summer with the birth and whatnot, so it'll be awesome to have that support nearby. It's going to be a lot less once we are down in Louisiana starting in the fall, and I would guess that we'll get home maybe twice a year for a week at a time? Sad panda face.
We actually headed up to Maine next weekend, can't wait!
The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware; joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. -Henry Miller
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Jake blowing out the candle at Katie's coming home party
Katie Belle
Kristen, Chad, Jake, Katie & Sadie the Wonderdog, est. 6/17/06
We should carpool to NY. LOL If I remember correctly your dh is the one I went to highschool with so I assume they're in the same area of NY as my parents. Too bad you guys didn't live in Maine.
That would be awesome! We could stay in the back and keep the Jakester under control ;o).
Jake blowing out the candle at Katie's coming home party
Katie Belle
Kristen, Chad, Jake, Katie & Sadie the Wonderdog, est. 6/17/06
My family usually comes to visit us once per year. DH and I go to Maine once per year and I usually can grab a weekend here or there to spend in Maine when my work sends me to Boston. Not much of a visit but i'll take it!
MIL has not been to visit us in 2 years even though she is 6 hrs away (long agonizing story). We visit her at least 3-4 weekends per year and DH goes to see her without me 1-2 time per year.
Of course this year will be a little different. My dad is coming down in April and again after the baby is born. MIL will be at our house as soon as she has a few days off (within a week of the birth...oh yay).
My parents are 100 miles/ 90 minutes via car away in MA. I see them probably once a month. Sometimes I go down there with James, sometimes they come up to see us 3. Sometimes there is an overnight stay involved on one end- rarely multiple nights. We also do a video web chat every week or two.
My in laws are in Florida. We see them maybe once a year. Sometimes it spans years. The budget just doesn't really allow for us to fly down there and they aren't drowning in money either. They both came up for James' birth, and MIL came up a few weeks later too. MIL also came up for his 1st. We went down Memorial Day weekend last year. I wish we could see each other in person more, but I understand the restrictions. HOWEVER, we've only ever video chatted twice even though we've had the capabilities for over a year. I don't understand why they don't push more to do chats to see their only grandchild. I don't talk on the phone with them- I hate the phone- but it never seems to come up in conversation with DH and family. Can you tell I'm frustrated by this?
Before we moved up to Maine, I saw my mother probably once a week - her, my aunt and my grandmother get together on Saturday mornings for coffee, so I would try to drag my butt out of bed to hang out. We'd have dinner with one set of families every probably every few weeks or so. We lived about 10 minutes from both families.
Now, we're about 5 hours away. If this first 7 months is any indication, we'll see them more than we anticipated. Aside from helping us move, my parents have been up twice, H's three times and we've been back to NY three times (though once for a funeral). Right now, we don't have any planned visits back to NY and neither set of parents have plans to come up here...it's strange to get used to.
Luckily, they all get along really, really well - our mothers get together for lunch once a week...it's so funny.
I don't see my parents as often as I'd like-- and when I do, it's usually because I went to see them, not them up to see me-- and they only live in OOB (so 45 mins away). I used to see them all the time when we lived 15 mins away from each other in CT... My mom sees my sister all the time (my sister lives in SoPo, so they're about 15 mins away from each other). I really miss seeing my sister more, but she has kids and I have school... But I usually see them at the very least once a month, but usually twice. It depends on what's going on, family function-wise.
My ILs I see more often than I'd like, at times. We average 1-3 times a month-- unfortunately, it's usually unexpectedly (when I am trying to sleep before a night shift or get homework done or we're just sitting down to eat, so the food goes cold). My MIL says she'll call ahead of time but never does. When she does, she doesn't show up so we sit around waiting for nothing. (Can you tell this bugs the bajeezus out of me?!?)
It usually comes down to the ILs see us when they need something (except for my SFIL who just gets lonely and likes that MH and I actually talk to him). My dad comes to visit to help out with stuff and when I invite them up for a function (he and my sister often come up with my niece-- my mom seems to think 45 mins is a long way to drive). My mom is more of a "call or visit when it's convenient to me, not my daughter" kind of woman, but she actually called me to make sure she had a free spot in her schedule for my graduation.
That was a really long answer. Sorry. Long day!
My parents live in VA, so it's a 12 hour drive (or a flight) for us to visit them. We go down each year for either Thanksgiving or Christmas and stay for a long week (8 or 9 days, usually). This year we went off schedule and came down at Halloween, so when JetBlue had a $39 fare sale from Boston to DC, I decided DD and I should go down and visit in February (which is where we are now; DH is at home working).
My parents come up to Maine to visit us once a year sometime in the spring or summer.
DH's parents live a 75 minute drive away. I'd say we see them an average of twice a month. DD is an only grandchild, so we get a lot of free babysitting from them.
We see my ILs about 4 times a year. We go up twice for 4-5 days at the holidays and in the summer (usually July 4th) and they come visit us twice for an overnight visit.
We see my parents about 3 times a year. My mom has a hard time traveling so besides one trip every other year, we do all the traveling. We used to visit them at their home in MA more but for different holidays and family events, its mostly in Maine now. We usually spend about 10-12 days a year with them.
My aunt lives 20 minutes ago so we see her and her family about every 3 weeks. With all the other relatives so far away, it's nice to see other family members more frequently!
My parents have a "policy" of not going more than 6 weeks without seeing the kids (Owen + my niece/nephew who live 10 minutes away), so if we're not down there in Philly for some reason, they come up here for a weekend. My FIL & SMIL are also in PA out in Amish country; we see them every two or three months. MIL & SFIL are out in CA, we see them (or at least MIL) 4 or 5 times a year. This past year, two of those trips were us going to CA, though, which I don't think will happen again for a while once the baby is born...maybe not until next winter....so I don't know if we'll see them less or what.
I can walk to my ILs, we usually see them at least once if not twice a week, which is fine with me because I get along with them.
My Mom and SD we usually see once a week, they live 20 minutes away, but my mom works 5 minutes from our house so she usually stops by for tea after work or we'll see them on the weekend.
My Dad and SM live 15 minutes away but we only see them once every 3 -4 weeks.
We see my family waaay more than DH's family and my family are the ones who live far away.
My dad is 6 1/2 hours away in Northern NY. He comes 1-2 times a year and we go 2x a year. All of that tallies 3 weeks, minimum.This year we went for a big chunk of our FMLA, so it was an extra 2 weeks longer than usual.
My brother is a professional athlete and is living in Austin, TX right now. He travels all over the world and gets lots of miles and uses them to come see us. He coordinates it around races that are here and wins money simultaneously. We see him a few times a year.
Now DH's family.... His dad lives in Kittery 1/2 the year and we see him a few brief hour long visits usually. His mom lives in Revere MA and the 1 1/2 hour is waaaay too long for her to drive. (???) We're probably in trouble right now that we haven't brought the baby down. We only have once b/c DH and I are opposite shifts and we never have a day off together.
Poor DH was talking tonight how he feels depressed sometimes becuase he's been abandoned by his parents.
That's so sad!
My parents and sister are in Maine. My mom's side of the family is in Rhode Island. My dad's side of the family is in Florida. MH's parents are in Indiana. MH's brother is in California. MH's extended family is in Virginia.
Soooo, we have to do a lot of traveling if we want to see our family much at all. In the past, we've gone to Maine and Indiana at least once a year, and MH's parents visited us once a year. My parents visit once every few years. Then we'd sometimes go see extended family at the same time our parents were there. So, we'd see my parents 2-3 times a year and MH's parents 2-4 times a year.
Now that we have the baby, we don't have the travel budget we used to have, but the parents are visiting us more often, esp MH's parents. So, I'd say now we'll be seeing my parents 1-2 times a year and MH's parents 4 times a year.