just blame his mother...

EmDizzle

Yesterday DH and I got into a bit of an argument about keeping the house tidy (the argument started with something else entirely, but as usual, we got into this same old heated discussion).  And I blame his mom.   Ugh.

As I've said before, I adore my MIL.  However, she spoiled her kids (and she admits).  She was fortunate enough that they could afford for her to be a stay at home mom, which is great.  The BIG problem, she realizes 10 years later,  is that she never gave her kids any responsibility around the house.  The house was always clean, the laundry was always done, the dishes were always put away.  It was only on occasion were they asked to help their mom, which they usually did, but there were no 'hard and fast' responsibilities.  And the house was ALWAYS sparkling. 

Now if we are not expecting company, I'm perfectly okay with this, say B+ level of clean of the house if it means I can sit down after a long day at work and read a book for a while (or talk to you ladies!). 

Every once and while DH will 'stand up' and say "God, I just wish we could keep this house cleaner!"  I try and figure out what he means by "we" when I'm usually the one that cleans the kitchen up after making dinner, and does his laundry every weekend, cleans the bathroom, etc.  (he does help out sometimes, but were talking like 70-30, I should also say that he has gotten a lot better since we started dating, baby steps I guess).

I guess I'm just so pissed that he has ingrained into his mind that nothing less of a sparkling house should be standard.  He's going to lose it when we have kids, lol.   

 

Anyone else have a bone to pick with the MIL and how she raised your amazing DH?? 

schuette2

My MIL raised her kids fine - they're both perfectly responsible adults. My only issue with her is that she's forgotten a few times in the past 4 months that Zachary is a 27 year old adult, who is now married, AND lived on his own for 9 years before we got married. He can handle his life, but she's called a few times to check on our finances and meddle a little. She's now not speaking to us because he put his foot down last week, and said it's fine to call, but some of the stuff she's "checking on" is none of her business.

christieep

My only issue with how MIL raised my husband is that he is basically afraid to speak up for himself.  He grew up with his mom and three very opinionated sisters and I think it just made life easier for him not to say anything.  Now there are issues that need to be addressed with them and even when he does speak up to them, I know they think I am the one who made him say it (which is usually not the case).  I just wish he felt comfortable expressing his ideas and speaking up for himself.  He has let himself be walked all over for too long.

KBinRI

I love my MIL but she didn't do him any favors in the "trying new foods" department. She is very picky and her kids are picky, too, as a result. They are a meat-and-potatoes family and he eats almost no vegetables and that was OK with her growing up. Meanwhile, we had at least two and sometimes three vegetables every night. I can only think of two vegetables - Brussels sprouts and lima beans - that we never had growing up because my parents hated them.

His niece is super picky, too, and I see how they accommodate her by cooking one of the three or four things she'll eat special for her every night. If I'd ever tried that with my parents, I'd have gone to bed hungry on many occasions. There was no such thing is "I won't eat that ..." in my house.

hz80408

Emily and Kristen - you both hit the nail on the head!  Our cleaning is about 70-30 too.  While DH rarely complains, he also rarely helps unless asked. I mean he cleans up after himself and all.  But I'm usually the one to clean the bathroom, dishes, and after dinner (even though I cook).

DH is a picky eater and refuses to eat veggies and his parents have always left it at that.  Cooking, especially wanting to try new recipes, is always a challenge with him.

Similar to Christie, DH is very quiet about his opinions, unless something really urks him.  He gets it from FIL, whos the same way and I think it's bc MIL is such a dang talker! She's very dominant in all conversation/communication.

Lastly, while it's a blessing to be able to give nice things to your kids, pay for their schooling, car, phone, insurance etc...I have found that I do not want to raise my kids without any kind of financial responsibilty.  At almost 25, DH cannot get a credit card in his own name, even a store only CC b/c he has little credit.  It's so frustrating and definitely reflects in our mortgage search as well.  Well I know I brought debt to the table, it's about $6K in student loans...I think his finanical background, with no debt but no credit, is almost, if not, worse than mine!!