Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
1more?
My husband wants 1 more BUT I don't. We each have a daughter from previous relationships (17 & 3) and we have a son together (15 months). I am done so I thought. We talk about it often BUT I can't even think of a reason why I wouldn't want another one. Am I wrong? How do I express to my husband that I am done.
BTW, I am 36 so if I was to have another one it would be soon.
Re: 1more?
"I feel like our family is complete as it is now"
"Medically, I feel like we'd be rolling the dice on a host of conditions that are more common in older mothers"
" I want to really be able to enjoy our children grow up. If we had another baby, we'd be nearly 65 by the time they graduated from college. I don't want to miss out on the important milestones in their life because of our advancing age or find ourselves strapped financially when it comes time to retire because we just got done helping them with school expenses."
"I want to be able to really give each of our children the attention that they need and deserve. I feel that if we added another child to the mix, I would be spread thinner than I'd like to be to provide all that they need of me as their mother"
etc.
Don't have a child you don't want.
Have your TOLD your H this flat out or are you hinting? Be honest - tell him how you feel.
If you don't have a reason not for wanting another child, then it isn't that strong of a thing, is it? It's just kind is what it is for right now, but could change in the future? (I'm only guessing the possibility could be there only because you don't have a reason for not wanting one other than it just doesn't appeal to you in the here and now.)
And...that's what I would tell him, assuming it fits. Make it clear that you aren't promising, make it clear that this is not settled within you as to a reason why - but can you table it for the time being?
BTW, there are plenty of women who safely have children well past 40 years of age - just putting that out there in the event you were worried about that aspect since you mentioned your age.
Your youngest is still a baby.
If you don't want any more, tell your h that you are done, but if you change your mind you'll let him know.
You don't need a reason or excuse not to want to increase your family size.
I agree with PP, if your not 100% sure then don't have another baby. I don't think you should let your age be a deterent though, 36 is not too old! If you are only concerned about your age, talk to your doctor and see what he/she thinks. But if there are other reasons that have you concerned about having another child then you need to be upfront and lay it all out for your husband, be honest but be gentle since this is something that he obviously wants. Good Luck!