Northern California Nesties
My Boys!
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I really really hate WOW
Nothing else really. I just hate it. DH says he is playing now because once we have kids he won't be able to. Which is a lie lie lie! There are people with babies on there! I've heard them! I'm glad he has friends and all, but geez! I don't hang out with my friends EVERY NIGHT! Die WOW! Die!
My Boys!
Re: I really really hate WOW
Sounds like it's having an affect on your marriage. Does he realize how much it truly upsets you? Is it therapy worthy?
I just asked dh his thoughts because he plays a lot of video games and has friends who do (but not WoW, thankfully). He says you should go all passive aggressive on him and do things he likes to do without him and refuse sex. I'm not sure that's the most constructive way to do it, but...
Anyway, I'm sorry. It sucks.
Awww, that sucks. Is he receptive to you discussing it with him?
I am really really sorry. I am back to playing WOW myself, and I have a 2 yr old. I stopped playing video games once E was born because I didnt have the time or energy. I also only play after E has gone to bed, so about an hour each night before I head to bed. On the weekends I only play while she is napping. Usually those are the times that DH is playing games too so it is a mutual thing with us.
Have you tried playing? You might like it.
Ah yes, WoW.
He raids, right? Raiding is tricky because it has to be a scheduled thing. Without raiding WoW is an, albeit highly addictive, game you can just pick-up/drop at will. Raiding destroys that, so IMHO raiding is the root of the problem. Plus it's a downward spiral because to be good at raiding in a good guild you have to raid more/be at the top of your game... and the competition is often other boys/men with a ton of time on their hands. If he is not raiding then he reall has no excuse for not just playing whenever you are okay with it and getting off before you start feeling irritated.
It's good you have put in some rules but if they aren't working for you then you really haven't found the solution yet. Just my 2 cents but you either need to find a compromise by making more or different rules until you are content, or you need to find something you love just as passionately (bonus points if you can do it in the same room).
I still hate WoW because I know things would be so different if it weren't even in the picture, but it always has been and I've learned to deal with it. Now I read on my Kindle like CRAZY and when he gets off WoW I'm usually so engrossed he has to wait for me to finish a chapter. I look forward to him raiding now. If I don't have something to occupy me? It all falls apart. So finding something fun is crucial, in my opinion. You need a WoW-equivalent activity.
What doesn't work is withholding things or threatening things. I highly recommend against trying that. You'll lose.
A quote that I always thought pretty much sums up the WoW struggle:
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde
Women don't want to hear what men think,
women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice
Thanks everyone!
I've been dealing with this off and on for ten years. Some days are better than others! Winterorchid, he does raid and appears to be pretty good at it. It was easier when we were in college, because he would raid and I would sit on the couch and read my books or watch movies. Now, we don't have a couch (or even room for one) in the office, so that is not much of a possibility. Most of the time, the compromise is fine. It's just having to compromise that, on occasion, pisses me off.