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Vent- Valentine's day
I have multiple married friends / friends in relationships who post things on facebook about how lame you are if you "have" to celebrate your love on Valentine's day, and how fantastic their love is because they celebrate every day expect today blah blah blah....Serioulsy if you chose not to celebrate that is fine I agree that I don't see the point in making it a huge deal, but I do like the idea of Valentine's day. I think it is nice that on one day every year everyone is thinking about love. When I was younger I liked the idea of a secret admirer letting you know they had a crush on you. And when I was single although it wasn't my favorite day of the year I looked forward to one day having a Valentine. I don't think you should restrict being sweet and sentimental to Valentine's day and I don't think that people should put a lot of pressure on the day (i.e. spend a lot of money). But I do think it is a sweet day to let your love know how you feel...even if you do that every other day of the year as well...
Just my opinion, what are all of your opinions on it? Anyone hate Valentine's day?
Re: Vent- Valentine's day
I don't hate Valentine's Day, but DH and I don't celebrate. I would never be so callous about it because I know a lot of people love it, but I just don't see the point.
Only since you asked, I can see where people are coming from: you spend 3x what you normally would on red roses just because of the holiday; everyone and their mom is out to dinner, sometimes spending more money than they normally would for a special menu; I know when I was in elementary school, everyone had to exchange Valentines with everyone else so no one would feel like out. It really is a holiday developed and promoted by the industry. But so many people love it and I don't begrudge them their happiness about it.
Again, I would never get down on other people for celebrating it, and comments like that make me think that maybe are trying to resolve those feeling with themselves. If they tell everyone else that they are being "forced" to celebrate maybe it makes them feel better that their SO doesn't want to celebrate.
Just ignore them and continue to be happy celebrating however you and your DH choose to spend the holiday.
Crystal, I like Valentine's Day, for the same reasons you do. I agree w/Liz that the excess spending, dining out, etc is a little much. DH has only bought me flowers on Valentine's day like twice in the 9 years we've been together and that's fine. I'd rather him sporadically buy me flowers 2-3 times a year in place of once when they cost 2-3x as much. We celebrate our love every day too, but just have that extra little air of love around when we celebrate Valentine's day.
I would ignore the people as Liz said.
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TBH I hated Valentine's day when I was single because I didn't meet Mike until I was 35 and until then I always had crappy luck with guys. I felt Vday was a "couples' way of rubbing it in to those of us less fortunate." Then a night out with a bunch of fun single people in '03 changed my tune. After that I knew Vday was what I wanted to make of it and I'd usually spend it with friends or family.
A lady I went to school with was putting it on FB yesterday too about how she can show love to her friends and family without caving in to florists and Hallmark to double their intake of funds (she's divorced, btw). I responded to her that my hubby and I exchange cards on Vday but we exchange hugs and kisses every day. I also replied that we have our date night on the weekend of Vday, plus one weekend a month. We don't really make it anythign different than our normal date nights, except maybe we go to one of our "not so regular" restaurants. He doesn't like to buy flowers because "they die and are a waste of money." That's fine - he still gives me red roses on our anniversary, one for every year we've been together. And I'm totally cool with that because we'll spend that money on a movie or a vacation or something else instead.
I guess to shorten all that, we acknowledge it, but we don't celebrate it; meaning we don't go overboard.
Now Sweetest Day on the other hand - does not exist in our household. That's a hallmark BS day to both of us.
I have a theory about those who post things like that on facebook, twitter, whatever, which is (like Liz said) I believe their SO doesn't like Valentine's Day and therefore doesn't get them flowers/cards/chocolate/dinner. This makes them upset, and to mask their disappointment they tell the world how SUPER FABULOUS their love is. Generally I think that people who truly are happy and content don't need to broadcast it to the world.
DH and I sort of disagree on Valentine's Day.... I love it, just like I love any holiday. I wear pink, I draw hearts on things, I eat candy. DH actually thinks that "we celebrate our love every day!" but really I think it's an excuse not to make a big production as he is not a holiday fanatic like me
(I can hardly get him to celebrate his birthday). So, we just do a dinner at home and get each other a little something to compromise.
I think Valentine's Day is a waste of $$$$. DH and I ask like it's a regular day. I personally don't see the point of the flowers and the candy and the dinners. I don't get it. I don't need a day to remember to tell my husband I love him (yes I posted that on FB, so sue me). Hubby knows that I don't care and don't make a big deal out of Valentine's Day and I think he loves me more because of it lol.
It's nice that it's a day to think about love, but really, it's nothing more than that! And personally, if you need to stand in line for flowers that you pay double what you normally do, then maybe something needs to be re-evaluated.
I'm sorry I'm so harsh but that's my opinion!
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Sorry, but I have to say something here....I think harsh is an understatement for what you said in the bolded line. Just because someone stands in line and pays extra for flowers to give to their SO does not mean that their relationship needs re-evaluted. My DH bought me flowers for VD...we got them when we were at the local Market on Saturday. Did we stand in line for them? Yes. Did we pay more than normal? Maybe. Did they die already? Yes, the tulips did. Does that mean that DH & I need to re-evaluate our relationship? NO!!! I LOVE flowers, I adore them....and DH knows that. So on special occasions, he buys them for me.
I think the assumption that people who celebrate Valentine's Day are lacking something in their relationship is a little obnoxious....props to you for not celebrating, but there's no reason to put down the people who do.
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I agree with this too. DH sent me flowers at work. They are really pretty and from a florist I work closely with. Did he pay more then normal probably. However he also buys me corner bodega flowers once a week or once every two weeks and while I was passing my kidney stone last week he brought me flowers twice! But thats his thing. He's always been a flowers guy! I bought an extra card and stuck it along w/ some milano cookies in his lunch box yesterday.
We went out to dinner but just to a steak place thats a nice walk from my office. It was beautiful walking there last night and it was a much nicer (heartier) meal then I could ever make on a week night. Last year we stayed in and I made steaks and a nice quiet meal. I like the fact that valentines day motivated us to go out to dinner. Normally we skip it in favor of saving money or something like that and its nice to go out together once and a while. Its easier to say no on a regular Tuesday and to come up with reasons not to go out. So for us it was nice motivation.
I don't think anything needs to be re-evaluated for us. We are doing just fine even with our valentines flowers and dinner out!
Yeah.... Mandah you know I
you but I think I have to agree with Lindsay that your comment was a little more than "harsh."
DH didn't get me flowers yesterday, he got me a small gift - but flowers would have been just fine, too. So would a card, or anything else small. Like I said before, I like holidays, I like celebrating things. This means green beer on St. Patty's day, champagne on new year's, fireworks on 4th of July, and yes - some sort of indication of a little extra something lovey on Valentine's Day. DH doesn't share this character trait of mine, but he always goes out and gets something -- last year it was flowers and a box of starbucks VIA, this year it was some really cute PJ's that he knew I wanted but would never buy myself. Did he spend too much on them? Probably -- but he did it because he knew it would make me happy that he acknowledged the day, even though it's not important to HIM. And I will never re-evaluate the aspect of our relationship that we do things for each other that we may think are silly or unnecessary just to make the other happy.
I said I don't look down on people that "celebrate" Valentine's Day. If it's your thing it's your thing. But I am going to give you a side eye if you spend double on flowers and stand in line for it for a longer time than usual. I just don't understand the appeal but I understand that some girls just like flowers and want people to spend money on them. Sorry if I wasn't clearer about that.
I don't think there is anything wrong with your relationships. But there are guys out there that go to a flower shop at 5PM on Valentine's Day because they "forgot" or what have you (again not saying this is any of our DH's) and they know their SO would be pissed if they didn't get anything for Valentine's Day. It's those types that I think need to be re-evaluated.
I suppose it's because DH and I are pretty frugal that I would actually be pissed at him if he spent double on a bouquet of flowers. But hey, that's what makes each of us different. I mean, I spent like $250 on all my flowers for my wedding, so obviosuly you can see how much I like flowers.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand I'm rambling. I'm going to stop now. I promise. Didn't mean to make you girls mad, just stating my opinion! (I can be a bit harsh, but I still love ya'll!)
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You're totally entitled to your opinion, and I think that it's certainly a valid point. It was just the comment that "those relationships need to be re-evaluated" that may have made some people who do like those sorts of things feel targeted.
Anyhoo. Love ya - back to puppies and rainbows please!
Hah, yeah perhaps re-evaluated wasn't the best choice of words. Guess I wanted to stir a little bit of controversy with the April brides. We're way too nice to each other. muahahahahahahaha.
Ok, back to our regularly scheduled programming of puppies and rainbows.
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Thanks for clearing things up....and I didn't meant to get all defensive (I think my response was a little snarky)...I get a little fiesty when I think my relationship is being questioned lol. I would never be seriously MAD at DH if he forgot Valentine's Day or just got a me a card and no flowers. We're all entitled to our opinions...it's what makes us u-neek!
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Thank you ladies for all of your opinions. I was just a little annoyed yesterday with people stating that their relationship must be so much better because they don't need to celebrate a holiday about love. And I know none of you feel that way. I definitely see why people would hate the holiday considering it has been made into a huge money making business.But like others, I love holidays, and believe you don't have to go all out to celebrate. I got a card and grocery store flowers and I made DH a card. We didn't go to dinner because it is always so crazy, so we had Wingstop take out at home before he left for work. Whether you celebrate Valentine's day or not I hope you had a good one yesterday!
Sorry my post temporarily paused the Puppies and Rainbows we usually enjoy on this board.
Boy! I picked a day to be too busy to post :-)
Arriving late to the table (darn this job...just when I feel like coming to work and "nesting", I actually have to work!)...
I mentioned yesterday that my Boo had to work on a case his team was investigating straight through the weekend, so we had to postpone our celebration. I was surprised, however, that he did find time to get me flowers and candy and girls, come on...was anyone besides me ecstatic to get a Valentine's day card that was "to my (insert fabulous sweet nothing) WIFE..?" I kept looking at it and smiling and thinking...I'm a wife! I'm a wife...lol
Seriously, though - there are certainly valid points to both sides of the conversation. H isn't too ooey gooey romantic, but I think it's nice when he steps out of his comfort zone for me, because I am such a holiday lover. It pains me to take down my Christmas tree (which I haven't yet btw...shhhh!)
But my favorite part of our delayed celebration is that we'll get to spend a beautiful, sunny day together. Any excuse to hang out with my favorite guy is great by me!!
Hugs!!!
I'm late to the game since I was trapped in a meeting hall all day with 2,000 of my dearest co-workers. Anyway, my feeling is celebrate Valentine's Day... or don't. I don't care what you do. I personally like it because it's the only day of the year that DH is remotely romantic (he cuddles me, kisses me, and tells me he loves me all the time but is not romantic). I know flowers are a rip-off and are going to die soon, but they are pretty and make me happy and it's the only time he gets them for me. If he told me he didn't want to do anything for V-Day anymore I wouldn't really care.
But, it's that judgey, superior, smug attitude that is a big turnoff. And not just with this, but with anything popular culture wise. Like, I enjoy watching Jersey Shore since it's mindless, harmless, stupid entertainment. I'm not looking for the resolution for world peace, I just want to laugh at these people an hour a week. But there are people who act like it's the downfall of civilization and I must have a negative IQ to watch it. It's not, and I'm not an idiot. It's a TV show, period, and don't tell me what I should be watching. (This is just one of countless examples of this behavior I've seen on FB)
Amanda, if your comment rubbed people the wrong way it's because it came of as that same attitude. Of course we all know you well enough to know you are not really like that!
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Lori - I'm so with you on this!!! I was recently "reprimanded" at work by someone who lectured me about why we shouldn't be watching this, and it REALLY annoyed me.
Anyways, I think the bottom line for me is that NO couple should be judged by how they choose to celebrate, or choose not to celebrate, Valentine's Day. If anything, it's a holiday that should remind us that everyone should just be loving and kind to everyone we love, everyday. That's just my 2 cents!
XOXO to all of you and I'm glad that we can peacefully agree to disagree, and that's why I enjoy this board so much!!!!