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Difficulty with PM arousal
I'm looking for some advice. I am newly married and we have run into a road block in the bedroom. First off I want to say sex is great and we are both satisfied but my H is only aroused in the early mornings. I have read that its normal for men to be ready to go in the morning. For example last night we headed to bed around 10:30pm after working all day and we wanted to have some intimate time but my H couldn't get an erection. I'm sure it was because he was tired but he became very frustrated with the lack of arousal. Now at 4:30am this morning that was a different story and he was ready to go as usual. My question is what can we do to work on being intimate at night? Has anyone else had this problem?
Side note - we have been together 6 years married 2 months and in that 6 years we did not have sex. H was married before but had not had sex for at least 8 years until our marriage in Dec. I'm sure he just needs to get warmed up again. People say the more you have sex the more you want it. I guess that would mean we should keep trying for evenings and maybe we will get surprised. Just looking for thoughts and advice on the subject.
Re: Difficulty with PM arousal
Try doing something relaxing together. He might still be thinking about work, or thinking about the next day, or about how much sleep he needs to get, do something to take his mind off of everything and off of the pressure of "okay I need to get hard now" H is like this, he has anxiety and it's just hard for him to relax sometimes, he'll be stressed from work or whatever and then when we start making out he'll start putting pressure on himself "I should be hard already! Why aren't I hard yet, urgh I should be getting hard" and kind of *** blocks himself :S
Have a bath together just relax, rub each others back, have a glass of wine, add a little oil to the tub and just have fun, don't "try" to have sex just kinda of be with each other, I guarantee you he'll get hard and you'll be jumping out of the tub to get to the bed!
Or go for a walk just talk about the houses you see or little things that would be fun to do, or about how excited you are for spring (light easy stuff) then when you come back he should be more relaxed and happy, hit on him before he can think much about it, or put on something super sexy.... really as long as it's away from the stress of work he'll have a better chance of getting aroused.
de-stress and THEN go for the goods!
Make a pregnancy ticker
Did he also abstain from masterbating for 14 years?
If he's getting morning wood, but can't get an erection during other times, I'm inclined to think he needs to visit the doctor. Blood pressure problems or something.
First of all. . . CONGRATS! Sex in the morning is great and according to TCM if you were to TTC, the morning is the best time to concieve seeing as they believe night conception and rain leads to a sick child. Your "juices" have been on marinade and he is ready to go in the morning. Nothing beats AM sex. . . it is the bees knees!
You want some PM nookie though and there is nothing wrong with that. When we think of sex, we think about night. Something sensual about it. As I heard another person say go ahead and if you get home before he does have a hot bath waiting for him. Introduce him to your amazing hands with a soft massage. I have to suggest the massage wax candles. I have tried those and WOW!!! They do not burn the skin or anything! This is the time where you have got to get creative and most likely you have to get him to RELAX AND UNWIND when he gets home. I hope this helps you greatly and good luck!
Are you for real? ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
ummm....thanks...now I never want to have sex in the morning again...Who's juices are marinading!?
I have the opposite issue... if the day has been to busy or it's too late (past 11 normally - we are usually up til 11:30/12) I am the one who isn't interested. And in the morning, while we are both willing, he can't finish in the morning.
My best advice is to relax together, learn what "things" are like a light switch for you for some foreplay... and go with it..My guy has quickly figuered out what works for me in the evening and some nights it takes me longer to be ready but he is patient with it.
Good luck and enjoy your mornings in the mean time.