Is it me, or am I going crazy?

MeggyO

I have been on birth control pills since I was 16 years old (have I mentioned this? Probably.) That means, I was on birth control pills for 12 years.

Apparently birth control pills are also behavior modification pills. Because now that I am off of them, I have gone CRAZY!

Now, when I was on birth control pills (or bcp, since writing out birth control pills over and over is making me brain hurt), I would occasionally switch types. When I switched, I could see that I was a bit more hormonal than usual (during the second semester of my freshman year of college, I switched pills and then called my mom crying once a week).

It never really occurred to me what would happen when I went off bcp cold turkey. Crazy is what happened. I say things, or do things, that I would look at later, almost in 3rd person, and think "seriously? why are you doing that?" I randomly get really angry or really upset for reasons that have never particularly bothered me before. And then I take it out on the people who are around me. Unfortunately, that is usually DH.

I'm trying, really trying, to not let the hormones control me. I used to be a cool, relaxed person. Someone who let things go with the flow. I'm trying to find that person again. I liked her. Other people liked her.

MadameD517

I felt the same way on BCP, and when I went off. You're body will get used to your own hormones and you'll be back to that cool and relaxed person you know and love.

Be sure to explain what's going on to your H so he can at least not take it personally

Sidenote: Your dogs are adorable and I would like to steal them to be friends with my dog (English Bulldog) 

rori11

I had the same reaction as you - earily so. 

I went on the pill when I was 16 and at about 35 (so almost 20 years of being on the pill) I went off of them for a year.  I turned into this bitchy, up tight person.  It was really weird because I never PMS'd, got moody, etc while I was on the pill, but off of it, I got all of those moody/bitchy side effects!

It really was crazy.  I went back on the pill and have been back on them for about 3 years now.  To be honest, I'm not sure I'll ever go off of them.  I prefer the me on bcp.

Passanie

Well sure, it makes sense. Birth control pills are regulating your hormones and when you go off them... I assume your body will eventually figure this out, but I'm assuming people more knowledgeable people than me can comment on this.

sm23

Have you talked to your doctor? I'd be curious what she or he have to say about this.

I was on hormonal birth control continuously for about six years. I finally stopped because I was experiencing symptoms I hated no matter what I tried - different pills, the ring, the shot, etc. I finally gave up and got a copper IUD (which I love, despite some downsides).

One of my main complaints about the hormonal methods was that I felt like I was under the effect of drugs (which I was). I felt... subdued. That's the best way I can describe it. When I stopped taking that stuff, I felt a huge difference. I just finally FELT, whether it was the ups and downs of hormones throughout the month or whatever. Not all of it is positive, as you're finding out, but I much preferred this feeling of being 100% in control of my own body than under the influence of chemicals.

I'm guessing that's sort of what you're experiencing now. I suppose you'll either get used to it and it'll be manageable, or not and you'll find you need to stay on birth control (when you're not TTC that is.)

I hope you feel better. Good luck.

wldktz10

That's so interesting that you have that response off because when I was on I was literally a fast cycling bipolar person. Extremely moody and extremely crazy. I'd cry and want to die, then be very manic, and maybe have a few days of normalcy before it started all over again. Once I went off I became a normal person again, who is actually very happy and fun.

MeggyO

Thanks everyone! You've made me feel like I'm not going crazy. I sat down with DH to talk about it (nearly crying while doing it. I hate crying.) He gets it and says the crazy isn't too bad!

And MadameD517, you don't have to steal my dogs to be friends with your dog! Where are you at? We could totally give them a play date

MadameD517

MeggyO:

And MadameD517, you don't have to steal my dogs to be friends with your dog! Where are you at? We could totally give them a play date

Sonoma 

leolyns

I've been off BCP for close to 7 months now and I notice a difference too. I was on hormonal too. Now when it gets close to AF coming, I feel blah & tired (like this week I feel so sleepy even though I've gotten 6-7 hours of sleep per night), get cranky easily, short fused and when husband is driving I tend to get road rage (and I'm the passenger in the car, lol).

smbsantacruz

I went through the exact same thing when I went off Depo a couple years ago! I tried several different kinds of BCP, but they all made me CRAZY hormonal! I finally broke down and got Mirena, and haven't looked back.

winterorchids

Darn it, I was hoping this was a clicky poll How fun would that be?

I really hope I don't get more crazy when I'm off BCP! I feel like I'm pretty damn crazy and emotional as it is. I'm hoping I'll suddenly become "normal" when I get off BCP and can just blame the pills for making me a wacko for the last 13 years. Wouldn't it be awesome to stop taking them and realize you are way more awesome than you realized? Personally, I'd like to be less high-strung and hornier.

sm23

winterorchids:

Wouldn't it be awesome to stop taking them and realize you are way more awesome than you realized?

Yes, it's awesome 

rachie17

I am so glad you posted this! I have been off my BCP for two months now after being on for about 8 years. I have been acting really strange and have had that 3rd party WTF feeling you mentioned. Even DH has asked me why I am acting so strange and I never thought it could be because I went off BCP. Hopefully now that I'm aware of this I can try to control my craziness a little better.