Oklahoma Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
If a close friend/family member cheated...
on their spouse, would your feelings toward the person who cheated change? How/why? If you're feelings wouldn't change, why wouldn't they?
Re: If a close friend/family member cheated...
This. Some of us cheat, some of us lie, some of us steal, some of us just hold malice in our hearts and think ugly thoughts all the time. I'd hope that my family and friends would judge me by the sum of who I am, and not just my very lowest moments (or just my best moments, for that matter), so I try to do the same.
Now if someone cheated on their spouse repeatedly, then I'm not going to lie...I'd definitely think less of them if for nothing else than their inability to learn from their past mistakes. I'd feel the same way about someone who lies, steals, etc. repeatedly.
To me this honestly depends on the type of cheating. Did the person cheat with multiple people? Once? Seek out to cheat? Cheat with one person multiple times?
Basically I understand people make mistakes, but to me it isn't that black and white. If once, truly regrets it, told the SO immediately...I'd forgive and not judge. Any other way I would look at them differently.
Good point. The one friend I had who admitted to cheating did so as a "single moment of awful" kind of thing. I might feel differently had she been a chronic cheater.
This is going to sound very contradictory.
I give people the side eye for cheating because I say just get a divorce if you want to cheat. I have told C from the beginning that if he is going to cheat just come home and pack his sh!t because I will not put up with it.
One of my closest most dearest friends and I am pretty open with her when it comes to cheating. I always ask her why she does not divorce her husband-they are in a very unhappy marriage and its not healthy for either of them. Her reasoning in staying married is becuse they have a 3yo son and she doesn't want to put him through all of the stress and drama of the divorce and having 2 homes. She has told me before she plans to divorce when her son is older and can understand more of why mom and dad are not together. As I see her point, I also look at the other side of it as what are you going to say when your son is older and asks why you stayed so unhappy for so long? The guy she has cheated with is just like her and will not get a divorce because of his children and the money that would be involved right now (he owns his own western store in New Mexico and is on a pro rodeo circuit.) I don't look at her like I do most and maybe it is because I see how bad her marriage is and know that her and her husband are not intimate.
Like I said it is very contridictory of me but maybe if seen the marriage I would feel differently.