Long Distance Housewarming?

MrsTeamToro

My husband and I moved in together a month ago, although we have been married for 10 months. He is in the Navy and is stationed miles away from our family and friends. We had a very small wedding (with 28 guests), but never had any events to celebrate our nuptials; no engagement party, bachelor/ette party, or bridal shower. In time for our 1 year anniversary, my best friend would like have a virtual or long-distance housewarming (she couldn't think of a good name) for me and send invites in the mail for my family and friends to purchase things for us through a registry. Since I never heard of anything like this before, I would really appreciate any insight before I give her the okay. So what do you think? Thanks in advance!

Maybride2

This is tacky as hell.

It's too bad that you didn't have a bridal shower, or a big wedding, or a reception, etc. But those are the choices that you made, and one year later you have to accept it and keeping moving forward with your life. A "virtual housewarming" is an oxymoron, since the whole point of a housewarming is to invite people over to see your house in person. And registering for such a thing is nothing short of rude and gift-grabby; even when people bring gifts to a traditional housewarming, it's typically a bottle of wine or houseplant, not something big ticket like what you'd normally get from a bridal shower (which you chose not to have, too late now).

lsgarver

Maybride2:

This is tacky as hell.

It's too bad that you didn't have a bridal shower, or a big wedding, or a reception, etc. But those are the choices that you made, and one year later you have to accept it and keeping moving forward with your life. A "virtual housewarming" is an oxymoron, since the whole point of a housewarming is to invite people over to see your house in person. And registering for such a thing is nothing short of rude and gift-grabby; even when people bring gifts to a traditional housewarming, it's typically a bottle of wine or houseplant, not something big ticket like what you'd normally get from a bridal shower (which you chose not to have, too late now).

Unfortunately, I agree with this.  The purpose of a housewarming is not to get stuff but to fill your house with family and friends and get people acquainted with your new digs.  That purpose is not being fulfilled and this will just come off as a gift grab. 

I really am sorry that you didn't get all those events leading up to a wedding and that you don't live near the people you would invite to a housewarming but this is not the way to make up for it.

TarHeels&Rebels

Hi, welcome to the nest

Perhaps a better way to think of it would be this.  The family and friends who would be invited to this housewarming certainly know you got married and know you have a new house.  If they have wanted to, they have already gotten you a present.  To send an invitation that essentially asks for another present, when they won't be there with you, isn't the most elegant idea.

Check and see if there's a bookoo (like Craigslist) for your base.  It's huge near our base and with all the PCSs, people sell really nice things all the time for a fraction of what they're worth.

vjcjenn1

that's a gift grab, to send out something specifically asking for gifts and your guests don't actually get to attend anything...I mean the point of the housewarming is to show the house.

What would be appropriate is to send out annoucements saying that you've moved/bought your first home...while no registry information should be included on there, I can see a few aunts/uncles sending a gift. you could even design something on vistaprint that allows you to include a few photos of the house...maybe the front, the living room, your bedroom, and the kitchen?

sjb&apa

I agree with those who think it's kind of tacky. It really is too bad that you missed out on all the wedding/engagement stuff, but there isn't really a way to make up for that now. 

I have heard of people doing "virtual showers" before ... like a virtual baby shower for a mom-to-be who doesn't live near any of her relatives. I don't really get it, though, I just think it's weird to invite guests to an event that doesn't really exist. I mean, how can you be a guest at a party that's not actually taking place? In any case, with a virtual shower, you're just inviting people to buy gifts since there is no party to attend, which is kind of tacky.

I think of it this way - the people you're closest to will already be planning to buy a housewarming gift for you. If someone wouldn't already be giving you a gift, it's rude to invite them to buy a gift for you via a virtual housewarming party.

6fsn

To reiterate, everything about this idea is tacky.

wejustwant2:)

Hi!  I just want to say that I really appreciate your husband's service and your sacrifice to our country.  I agree with the PP re: the virtual shower though... and wish you well.  It is too bad that you didn't get the typical showers/parties etc.  maybe down the road you can have a real homecoming/housewarming type of party.

Good Luck!

katarczyna

I agree with PPs... I would not take an invite to something like this well.

DH and I eloped. Which means we didn't get b-parties, showers, a reception, etc. That's how it goes when you have a small wedding. You don't get to demand gifts later. 

Some people did send us gifts - totally unnecessary. But those who didn't, didn't do so only because I didn't send them registry information. 

Enjoy your home without resentful feelings from friends and family from afar, which is the polar opposite purpose of a housewarming.