Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Friendship dilemma: WWYD?
So moving back to my "home" state has had one extra-great benefit: I am closer to some of my best girlfriends.
In one instance, there's a group of three of us. DH likes the husband of one, but not the husband of the other.
That particular guy is not popular among any of us. He's socially awkward, monopolizes the conversation with boring stories that probably don't have much to do with what anyone else is talking about, and is sort of a deadbeat dad (he doesn't do much for his kid, to the point where other people have to step in). I think he's sort of verbally abusive to my friend, too.
However, most of the time he means well; and I think he's one of those guys who would do anything he could to help you. He's just a giant baby.
My friend (his wife) is very shy and sensitive. It would kill her to know that we don't like her husband.
DH is great about taking one for the team and hanging out with the husbands, but it's getting to the point where he's begging out of more and more things to avoid this guy. I'd love to get together as a foursome with the other couple, but know it would hurt my friend's feelings if we all got too chummy and she were left out.
We girls do do things on our own, too. It's just trying to get all the families together when it gets rough.
What do you think? Should I do anything here, or just leave it alone? Is there anything to be done, even?
Re: Friendship dilemma: WWYD?
Ugh, that is so tough! I feel you, because my Huz has some friends that I can not stand.
If it were me, I would just try to do more Girls' nights, that way your friend can still be included. I feel like she would find out and be hurt if you kept GTG with the other couple (we did that before, and it sucked. Feelings were really hurt. Blah). With such a small group, it might be painfully obvious that you guys are avoiding them. If it's just the girls, nobody has to be around Weird Guy.
Otherwise, you might just have to suck it up and put up with him if you want to remain friends with her. It sucks, but at this point, he is who he is and is probably not going to change. You can accept him as the annoying person he is because he is your friend, or dissolve the friendship. Huz and I had to come to terms with this as well with one of his friends.
I'm sorry you have to put up with this. It is a sucky situation. Good luck!
I would leave that alone. It doesn't sound like telling your friend how everybody else feels will solve anything, change her husband, cause her to leave him, or in any other way improve the situation. All it would do is put her on the defensive and probably make things awkward for everybody.
I would probably just make peace with the fact that maybe this isn't a group that gets together with husbands all that often. Sometimes we have great girlfriends but the husbands just don't click, and vice versa; it happens. Enjoy your time with your awesome friends and don't force too many awkward social situations on the men
1) try to only get together with the girls
2) plan g2gs with all three couples where the guys don't go off on their own
3) if there's anything the unliked H isn't into, plan those type of g2gs every once in while
4) suck it up
This.
IUI #1 10/12/11 (Bravelle + HCG + Prometrium & acupuncture) = 10/26 BFP! Beta #1=250, Beta #2= 615. 1st u/s 11/8.
Agreed.