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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What is the hardest thing you've ever done?
this is kind of stolen from another board - but it was really eye-opening in what other people have done/are capable of.
Re: What is the hardest thing you've ever done?
tell my mom that her ex-boyfriend molested me when i was 6. i was 23 when i finally told her.
and as if that wasn't bad enough, there was a bunch of drama that occurred after i told her. all in all 2 sh!tty situations that i wish i had never had to live through.
Mine isn't major in any way, but I got married and bought a house with my first husband when I was 19. By the time I was 21 I knew that I couldn't stay married to my ex forever and I was so, so scared to tell my parents that I had failed and needed to move back home. I was so embarrassed about being a young bride that shouldn't have gotten married. Add to that - the separation meant that neither my ex or I could afford the mortgage on our own so we were getting foreclosure notices (luckily we were able to sell though).
Looking back I don't think any of this is a huge deal - but at the time if felt so big and scary.
Having to make the decision to take my father off life support. He was in a car accident when I was 12. It was hard not to be selfish. We all didnt want to live without him but, it wasnt fair to him to keep him alive.
Just want to say that you are some strong, courageous ladies for making it through what you have (and being willing to share it).
For me it's probably been dealing with the deaths of close loved ones. We lost my H's grandpa pretty suddenly this fall, and it still doesn't seem real some days.
The big sister, and Momma 30 weeks along with baby sister
Food Blog, Family and Baby Blog
Wow, this post is depressing.
I would say my hardest thing would be dealing with an alcoholic brother. I have been to the hospital psych ward more times than any sister should have to. Rushed to his house at 3 a.m. because he was about to commit suicide after being so depressed that he didn't know what to do other than drink himself to death. I've visited him in treatment facilities more times than I wanted to. Picked him up at jail on multiple occasions. Sat with him in court, and helped him pay attorney's fees. Mended fences between him and his ex-wife many times until she finally left (which actually turned out to be a blessing after we found out that she was drinking again and had encouraged my brother to drink). I've driven his kids all over the place because he lost his driver's license (which he totally deserved). I've listed to my mom crying over problems with my brother more times than I care to count. I've paid his bills when he got fired for showing up to work drunk. It goes on and on.
It's been 12 years of problems. He's up to 2 years of sobriety now ... which is wonderful ... but I'll never trust that he won't relapse. I've seen it too many times. Every time the phone rings and I see his name on the caller ID, I get scared that he's relapsed and done something stupid. It's sad that my reaction to a call from my brother is panic, fearing that another disaster has happened.
Alcoholism is a nasty, nasty disease.
Mr. Sammy Dog
I have two I can't choose between.
Telling my elderly clients that there is a very good chance they will never see their children again because of a poorly written immigration law. And then reading the email from their kids begging me to do something because their lives are in danger and they want to see their parents one more time.
Getting over my fear of water, learning how to swim and then flying out to Utah and going on a 4 day whitewater rafting trip with complete strangers. I will never forget looking at that first rapid and being certain I was going to die. It was both the most terrifying experience and the most fun I've ever had.
Tired after a long morning of hiking and swimming.
sjb...feeling ya hun. that was my son. That was part of the aftermath of my DH passing away. DS starting drinking and doing drugs. heavily. The second closest for me was having to call the police on my son and watch him be handcuffed. It broke my heart and I cried for weeks. Then I went into a severe depression and felt it was all my fault. So to say it's a nasty disease is an understatement of the year.
And I gotta say, we have some STRONG amazing women here! Thanks for sharing!
I suffered from depression in college and was also in an emotionally abusive relationship at the same time. Making the decision to move back home was difficult, but I'm so glad that I did.
Seeing my dad go through chemo once 2 years ago and finding out 2 months ago that the cancer has returned and he is starting chemo again. He's been hospitalized for the last 2 months after recovering from a brain biopsy and now has to start chemo for the next 6-12 months. It really has brought out his courage and strength, as well as my mothers. It's just scary not knowing what will happen over the next year.
My second hardest is watching/support my mother go through depression. I was basically her significant other and no one else was there. I agree on wishing depression on NO one!
The big sister, and Momma 30 weeks along with baby sister
Food Blog, Family and Baby Blog
Nicole and Sam 10/3/09
End the relationship with my ex fiance.
Say goodbye to Grandma who passed away a year ago.
Childbirth, I know its really cliche but I had HORRIBLE back labor and my labor came hard and fast there wasn't really any way to get through that...probably a good reason why I have no real intentions of ever wanting to go through that again.
Being the Pallbearer at my aunts funeral, that was hard, I've never done that before and really had to focus to maintain any semblance of composure.
Battling through depression (a daily process really) and suicidal thoughts in high school. Going through the process of getting well - from being put in the hospital on sucide watch, to therapy, to facing all of the problems and conflicts in my life and confronting them, to educating people that depression is an illness... I've become an extremely open person about my process, I am grateful that I now have the tools to resist the suicidal feelings, although I am not immune to depression and I have gone in phases of being on and off meds (currently on) to help me manage my illness. I had some great people in my life when I was on suicide watch in the hospital that helped me face my fears, face my illness, and be able to talk about it with others. I wrote an essay about my experience that was published in a national creative writing magazine when I was in high school, and the acceptance I had from people made it so much easier to be open to healing.
Something else that was difficult, but in hindsight I am glad I did - my mom volunteered me (against my knowledge) to style my dead step-grandma's hair for her funeral. I guess it's somewhat the norm, at least in my family's area in Alabama, that the deceased person's hairdresser styles their hair in the mortuary. I had been doing hair at the time, and my mom thought my step-grandpa would appreciate me doing her hair. I was so uncomfortable when my step-grandpa approached me and hugged me to thank me for volunteering to do Shirley's hair... and the tears in his eyes made it impossible to say no. So.. I sucked up and did it. I l.o.v.e.d Shirley though - she and I had a great relationship, so it ended up being an incredibly process to allow me to have some closure and say goodbye. I always gave her pedicures and combed her hair out when we'd visit - so it was only natural to say a private goodbye while doing her hair one last time... but I was terrified when I first was told I was doing this!
jack | born 9.13.12 at 40w4d | 9 lbs 12 oz | 23 in
my puppy loves - chloe & jenson
pregnancy blog | chart
Wow, we have some strong ladies around here! Props to everyone....seriously!
The hardest thing I've done was dealing with the horrible anxiety I had not long after moving to Duluth. I was in such a bad place, and it affected me mentally and physically.
Thank God for meds and therapy!
My Bio
Married Bio
Two things:
Holding my grandma's hand as she was taken off of life support and took 15 minutes to pass. She had emergency open heart surgery and because of the blood thinners she was on there were problems. She was in a coma for 3 weeks after the surgery. I never got to say goodbye.
On my 25th birthday a very close family friend, a man who was like a father to me, died in a car accident while I was celebrating my birthday in Vegas. We ended the trip early and flew home. He was only 40.
I miss both of them like crazy.
On March 11th, 2010, I was diagnosed with cancer six days after having my second son. I have been in treatment for one year and finally in remission. This included going through a bone marrow transplant and being away from my family for a month. My dad also went through treatment for alcohol, lost my grandma and a friend to cancer.
Like many other posts, there are strong women who can deal with the situation when handed to them. Thankfully we have had great support and slowly I am recovering!
Finding my own voice. It took me 30+ years to find my own voice and use it. I've learned to say no and that it's ok. I think the worst part of the process was planning my wedding by myself because my Mom didn't approve of DH and was expecting me to tell DH goodbye when she expressed her disapproval. All those little girl dreams of bringing a Mom and daughter closer in planning were crushed.
Interesting that I had a few things written down before I figured out that this was the hardest, for me. I went to 7 funerals in 18 months - grandparents, uncles, cousins, family friends - while in college and it was depressing as hell and I don't remember much about the time period. I listened to my Mom tell me she had breast cancer on Christmas Eve and then went home to my lonely apartment and cried myself to sleep alone. I spent a few high anxiety/sleepless nights after 9/11 not knowing how to process that. I've lost good friends to accidents.
Also interesting that the hardest thing made me realize how supportive DH is.
Congratulations to each and every one of you. You've all been dealt some hard hands and are still here and are stronger for them.
Hardest thing I've ever done - it's a tie.
First - Having to "let go" of my relationship with DH the first time we dated. I was 14 and he was 20 and between my parents and the authorities, we were told we couldn't see each other - even as friends. Yes, I totally get it as an adult - on the surface it was an inappropriate relationship, but it didn't feel that way at the time. I mourned that relationship like I'd lost my best friend, because, well, I had. Fast forward 17 years and we are now married. That one has a happy ending.
Two - Taking my 3 month old daughter to the hospital when I realized her father had hit her. He spanked her (at 3 months) hard enough to leave bruises. The whole situation was horrible. Watching her strapped to a board to keep her still so they could x-ray to talking to the cops, to dealing with him (her father). Finding out he wasn't the man I thought he was... **Shudder** I'm still angry when I think about this one...
This made me cry. It has been 12 years since my grandpa died but I still think about him and wish so badly that we could have had a conversation like that. I know you said this was one of the hardest things but you are so lucky to have had the opportunity!
Tired after a long morning of hiking and swimming.